Tucker Carlson And Congressional Security Cameras

Hey! I just found some videotapes taken shortly before the Fourth of July in 1863. I now have conclusive proof that the days of July 1 through 3 were entirely peaceful. Look at this clip: It shows that the city of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, was utterly calm on those days! I have literally hours of film of Harrisburg; there’s no violence to be seen.

Same thing for Pittsburgh, and Philadelphia, and most of the rest of the state.  Who says there was any fighting going on?

I even found some film of this guy Pickett on July 3, 1863. My film shows that Pickett was calm all morning. He had a nice lunch. Why did his name go down in history?

You could say the same for essentially every lawsuit in which I’ve been involved.  I’ve got hundreds, or thousands, or millions, of documents and emails that are either helpful or completely innocuous. How could I possibly lose at trial?

Oh, wait!

That isn’t the way it works.

About 50,000 men died at Gettysburg, even if it was calm in Harrisburg.

Pickett didn’t charge until the afternoon of July 3. (After Pickett’s Charge, General Lee feared a Union counteroffensive. Lee ordered Pickett to rally his division for the defense. Pickett replied, “General Lee, I have no division.” But my video clips show nothing out of the ordinary. Everything was calm.)

I have a ton of helpful documents supporting my position in the lawsuit. And there’s just one email from the CEO saying, “I can’t believe our financial analyst made such an obvious error. Any first grader would have seen that these calculations were incorrect. And the mistake directly caused millions of dollars in damages. Let’s fire the idiot who made these mistakes.”

Won’t all the good documents prove we’re not liable?

Tucker Carlson can surely show thousands of hours of videotapes in which the Capitol Building was not under siege on January 6.

But it takes just a few minutes of videotape to belie it all.

Those few minutes of videotape might prove that our country is “engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure.”

Mark Herrmann spent 17 years as a partner at a leading international law firm and is now deputy general counsel at a large international company. He is the author of The Curmudgeon’s Guide to Practicing Law and Drug and Device Product Liability Litigation Strategy (affiliate links). You can reach him by email at inhouse@abovethelaw.com.