A flurry of orders showed up on the docket yesterday in the criminal case against Donald Trump. I guess we need to be more specific… “a flurry of orders showed up on the docket yesterday in the D.C. criminal case against Donald Trump for conspiracy and obstruction as opposed to the NY criminal case or the Georgia criminal case or the Florida federal case.” There we go.
Anyway, Judge Tanya Chutkan denied a bunch of third parties seeking leave to file in the matter. She dinged a motion from “Former Judges and Senior Legal Officials” (technically a “Moton” from them… let’s assume that’s a typo on the docket) asking to file in support of the government, and then she brushed off some interesting folks trying to write in to support Trump. And while one motion from “Victor Shorkin,” the Ukraine prosecutor at the center of Hunter Biden conspiracy theories and almost certainly not the real Victor Shorkin, should have represented the high water mark of crazy, it ended up cosmically dwarfed.
A series of orders have been docketed this morning from Judge Chutkan denying third party filers trying to submit things in Trump's DC case. The documents aren't available but this sounds like a pretty epic lawyers group pic.twitter.com/8xun3nnWr7
— Zoe Tillman (@ZoeTillman) August 29, 2023
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Just as in space, in Judge Chutkan’s courtroom, no one can hear you scream.
As a reminder, the pecking order is…
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Galaxy Bar Association CLEs are the best. Like “Planning For Supernova: Lessons For Red Giant Clients” and “Maintaining Separate Trust Accounts When Space Collapses To A Singularity.”
The latter awards 2 hours of Ethics credit.
Notably, this request is not from the Intergalactic Bar Association — definitionally a higher authority — which is an actual group focused on Space Law. Instead it’s from some hitherto unknown collection of Milky Way attorneys who apparently had some scorching O-Class star level hot takes for Trump’s defense.
Alas, we’ll never know what those takes were…
Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.