Ex-Biglaw Partner Embarks On Second Career In Coffee!

Rudy Giuliani pursues his passion: paying off the millions of dollars he owes in defamation damages.

Rudy Giuliani And Trump Legal Advisor Hold Press Conference At RNC HQ

(Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

After years of getting roasted roasted in court, former Biglaw attorney Rudy Giuliani has moved on to roasting coffee beans! For a lot of lawyers, making that better-late-than-never transition to a new career requires a nudge to break out of the rut. Giuliani, who has also served as a government attorney, is no different, only taking the plunge after getting his law license suspended, losing eleventy billion frivolous Big Lie lawsuits, almost assuredly farting on Jenna Ellis, getting stiffed by a famous client, starring in a foreign film from Kazakhstan, racking up $148 million in owed defamation damages, facing criminal charges, and going bankrupt.

But whatever it takes to inspire this baby bird to spread his wings and fly!

Channeling his inner Juan Valdez, Giuliani enters the coffee game — or should we say covfefe game! — with three blends priced at $29.99 each.

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The Medium Roast “America’s Mayor” blend displays Rudy in front of the slow-paced, 1940s automobile filled, small town America that Rudy Giuliani is classically associated with.

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With the Dark Roast “Fighting for Justice” blend, a younger, sepia-toned Giuliani recalls his days prosecuting the mafia in the early 1980s — a period clearly evoked by the pinstriped suits and fedoras.

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The “Enjoying Life” Decaf shows the former attorney relaxing on a tropical island that presumably declines to recognize U.S. civil judgments or extradition obligations.

In his own words, “I’ve moved at a fast pace, and have had many different roles in life, but the one constant thing has been a good cup of coffee, which is now proven to have health benefits. Please enjoy my delicious fresh roasted specialty coffee. It’s quality you can trust.”

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And when it comes to trust, how can you go wrong with a man about whom the New York courts said:

Where, as here, the false statements are being made by (Giuliani), acting with the authority of being an attorney, and using his large megaphone, the harm is magnified.

Congratulations on your new endeavor!


HeadshotJoe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.