Trump’s Lawyers File Batshit Motion To Second Circuit In Desperate Plea To Escape From New York

Donald Trump’s lawyers are confused. Again.

Emil Bove and Todd Blanche know they don’t want their client to be sentenced in New York on September 18 on 34 counts of creating a false business record. They’re just not sure exactly how to make it happen. So instead they’re flopping around various federal and state courts hoping that if they yell loud enough, something will eventually work.

Justice Merchan has promised to rule today on their petition to postpone sentencing until after the election. If he fails to give them what they want, they will file an immediate appeal to the First Judicial Department. But in the meantime, they’ve been trying without success to launch themselves into federal court.

Last week they filed a notice of removal, announcing that they were decamping for the Southern District of New York and would avail themselves of the automatic stay on sentencing in state criminal trials pending a removal determination. The statute clearly requires leave of court to request removal more than 30 days post-arraignment, but Trump’s team opted for the fake it ’til you make it plan, simply treating it as a matter of right and hoping the court wouldn’t notice.

Judge Hellerstein noticed.

His clerk immediately kicked the filing as having been docketed without leave, and then, after it was refiled as a motion for leave to file removal papers, the judge summarily rejected it for being untimely and without good cause shown.

Trump appealed to the Second Circuit, but without asking for expedited relief. Instead, he moved for a “Stay of the Remand Order Pending Appeal.” Which was weird, because there was no remand order to stay. Judge Hellerstein denied Trump leave to petition for removal at this late date, and so the case was never in the Southern District of New York.

Once again, Bove and Blanche opted for the fake it strategy, rechristening Judge Hellerstein’s “Order and Opinion Denying Motion to File Removal Papers” as “the Remand Order.” Simultaneously, they filed a motion before Judge Hellerstein asking him to stay his holding from Tuesday, although this time they captioned it a “Motion to Stay the Court’s September 3, 2024 Opinion and Order.” Almost like they were trying to pull a fast one on the appellate panel, but didn’t want to press their luck with the district judge!

Meanwhile, over at the District Attorney’s office, the ADAs spent several minutes mutely opening and closing their mouths and texting “WTF???” and “Is he high right now, or am I?” Allegedly!

Then they fired off a letter to the clerk of the Second Circuit noting that NONE OF THIS IS A THING.

“[The] defendant is not appealing from and cannot seek any stay regarding a remand order, because the district court never entered one,” they wrote incredulously, noting that Judge Hellerstein denied the motion to request removal out of time, and “Nothing in the federal-removal statute provides that such an order is subject to any exception to the default no-appeal rule.”

And indeed staying Judge Hellerstein’s opinion — how do you stay an opinion??? — wouldn’t give Trump what he wants, since the case would still be in state court, and the sentencing date would be unaffected.

The prosecutors profess themselves willing and able to brief and argue as necessary pending the appeals court’s determination. The “seriously, though, wtf,” is unstated, but strongly implied.

People of The State of New York v. Trump [District Docket via Court Listener]
People of The State of New York v. Trump [Circuit Docket via Court Listener]

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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore where she produces the Law and Chaos substack and podcast.