There’s no shortage of personality tests promising to explain why lawyers are the way they are. But have any of them considered that your partner isn’t impossible because of stress, trauma, or the billable hour… but because they’re a Sagittarius?
Over on Instagram, litigation_god has matched every zodiac sign with its legal alter ego, and the results are almost uncomfortably accurate. Whether you’re the overachieving Capricorn, the argumentative Aries, or the mysterious Scorpio everyone avoids emailing after 5 p.m., odds are you’ll recognize yourself — and at least half your office.
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If your sign got absolutely roasted, don’t blame litigation_god. Your beef is with the stars. Good luck finding personal jurisdiction.

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Staci Zaretsky is the managing editor of Above the Law, where she’s worked since 2011. She’d love to hear from you, so please feel free to email her with any tips, questions, comments, or critiques. You can follow her on Bluesky, X/Twitter, and Threads, or connect with her on LinkedIn.