Yesterday afternoon, a social media video began circulating showing a couple having a midday makeout session on a public park bench. The original poster shamed the pair with the classic “get a room” advice, followed by capturing their reactions and then putting it on the internet as what passes for “content” in the modern hellscape. While a normal person would just leave people alone or — at the very least — not use the personal moments of strangers to drive Insta likes, he was right that they probably should have gotten a room.
And not to kiss and ****tell, but many eagle-eyed viewers identified the couple as a partner and associate reviewing each other’s work. Which in most circumstances would probably be a scandal in its own right, but given the firm involved, they’re probably much more concerned that someone might find out that they weren’t billing.
Responding to the recording, the partner sits on the bench as if his world has come to an end, while the associate tries to litigate the issue with the guy unnecessarily filming this embarrassing scene. Lawyers: always on! Alas, there is no reasonable expectation of privacy on a public bench. Especially when practicing oral advocacy in the middle of a park in broad daylight.
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And that eagerness to argue probably made everything worse. Just like last summer’s Coldplay jumbotron debacle, if the pair had just responded to the unexpected intrusion like everything was normal and blew off the attention, no one would have noticed. A boring clip like that would never generate much attention, even if the creator deemed it interesting enough to post. But dragging out the situation tipped the couple’s hand that they’d been caught in a compromising situation and that’s what drives clicks. It was the attempt at arguing, with faces fully in view, that turned a four-second clip everyone would scroll past into a longer video that makes the poster seem like they’re spilling the best-selling of tea brands.
The moral of this story is… don’t be like any of the people involved. Don’t have an arguably inappropriate work relationship. Don’t choose to have it in a public place. Don’t make matters worse by trying to prevail upon the common courtesy of a content creator. Don’t film people kissing in the park. Don’t post random people making out.
And, on behalf of the firm, don’t waste valuable billable time.
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Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter or Bluesky if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news.