Government

FedSoc Co-Founder Does Not Understand How Bananas Work

David McIntosh genuinely shocked by the prospect of a green banana.

Mayor Mamdani just unveiled his municipal grocery store initiative, creating five stores offering fresh meat, produce, and pantry staples at a substantial 30 percent discount. It’s part of his plan to tackle food deserts and, ideally, drive down food costs generally. Predictably, conservatives began screeching like banshees over the arrangement. Armchair economists explained why selling products at wholesale prices can never work, comparing cheap food to the Soviet Union, and mocking the fact that liberals oppose voter ID while requiring an ID to buy groceries (the stores do not, in fact, require an ID).

But arguably the most impressive response came from Federalist Society co-founder David McIntosh:

Suspicious, indeed.

It’s nice to have these little reminders that, for all the appeals to everyday Americans, the real conservatives running the show still don’t know that the bananas have ever been green because the butler (whose name they’ve never bothered to learn) keeps them tastefully away from the daily fruit bowl display.

Alas, if there’s one thing the conservative legal movement showed us in 2020, it’s that they do not understand how to take an L. In that spirit, McIntosh followed up the brutal ratioing his post received with a video of himself awkwardly holding and then taking a bite out of a properly yellow banana he got (read: an intern got) from a “bodega.”

I’d say “Hang it in the Louvre” but someone already tried that.

McIntosh is currently the president of Harlan Crow’s Club for Growth — yes, that Harlan Crow — and it’s pretty clear his vision of “growth” does not include the people looking for affordable produce.

As the great Donald Trump once said:

An old fashioned term that we use — groceries. I used it on the campaign. It’s such an old fashioned term, but a beautiful term. Groceries. It says a bag with different things in it.

So it does, sir! So it does.


HeadshotJoe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter or Bluesky if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news.