Dubious Defenses

Crime

Morning Docket: 03.31.14

* The NCAA’s president thinks Northwestern’s sports union will be the first case of its kind to be heard by the Supreme Court, and his brain hasn’t even been scrambled by concussions. [Bloomberg] * “If I’d come up with it, I’d probably be proud of it.” If this Georgia lawyer had used the “my client is too handsome for rape” defense, perhaps there wouldn’t have been a conviction. [Daily Report (reg. req.)] * A few weeks ago, we wrote about the best law schools for making money. Since then, the rankings were revised due to error. Where does your school stand now? We’ll chat about this today. [Forbes] * “[L]awyers aren’t retiring or dying nearly fast enough for us to fill their spots.” Perhaps statements like this about the job market wouldn’t be so prevalent if U.S. News told pre-law applicants the truth. [NPR] * Law students will call you out for your behavior, even if you’re a police officer This one is suing the NYPD for false arrest after questioning their food truck tactics. We’ll have more on this later. [New York Post]

By Staci Zaretsky
Abortion

Morning Docket: 04.12.12

* The EEOC suit against Kelley Drye was brought “for a reason.” You hear that, Biglaw? Other firms with mandatory retirement policies better take a look at their partnership agreements and make some changes. [Am Law Daily] * Media whore lawyers unite! Cheney Mason of Casey Anthony fame has come out of the woodwork to support George Zimmerman. Still waiting on vital impressions from Gloria Allred. Oh wait… [Naked Politics / Miami Herald] * Just think, maybe if Planned Parenthood of Texas had taken Tucker Max’s money, they wouldn’t be suing the state for banning their organization from the women’s health program. Nah, they’d still be suing. [Reuters] * Georgetown Law is planning to launch an executive education program, but don’t worry, they’re not going to be competing with Harvard. They know they’re the safety school in this scenario. [National Law Journal] * Love will definitely make you do some really crazy things, like watch The Expendables. Or allegedly commit a murder-suicide because your husband might’ve had an affair. Things like that. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution] * Kim Kardashian’s dubious defense of the day: “I’m Armenian and hairy.” The only-famous-for-her-sex-tape star is trying to use that as an excuse to get a lawsuit over a hair removal product dismissed. [Fox News]

By Staci Zaretsky
Biglaw

Are You Allowed to Have a Biglaw Job If You Need to Sleep All the Time?

Sadly, we now live in a world where it's harder and harder to separate out the really disabled people from those who just can't get their stuff together. To cope, Elie has developed his own little test: if he wouldn't want the disability, it's a real disability. If he'd gladly take the "disability" in exchange for a cash payout, it's probably fake. So let him ask you this: would you take a cash payout from your Biglaw firm if he afflicted you with the dreaded "I'm really sleepy" disability? Yeah, this woman would too....

By Elie Mystal
Bad Ideas

The Naked Truth Always Comes Out in Court (But Not Like This)

Holly Van Voast has grinned and bared it all -- in Times Square, on the Staten Island Ferry, and most recently, in the middle of Grand Central Station. One of these public displays of middle-aged nudity landed her in Midtown Community Court last week, where the naked truth was revealed. WARNING: This post contains a photo of a topless Van Voast -- tastefully redacted, of course....

By Staci Zaretsky