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By Barbri
Abortion

Morning Docket: 03.21.12

* Here’s a reason why Proskauer Rose and Chadbourne & Parke might skip out on spring bonuses this year: millions of dollars worth of blowback from Allen Stanford’s Ponzi scheme. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight] * And speaking of spring bonuses, a lot of people noticed that Sullivan & Cromwell seems to have misled associates. “Just because it hasn’t happened yet, doesn’t mean it won’t.” Yeah, right. [Am Law Daily] * Next up in the war on women: a senator from Idaho thinks that women are such strumpets that they might be lying their way into abortions by claiming rape. Because that’s not incredibly insensitive. [Washington Post] * Apparently George Zimmerman, the man accused of fatally shooting a boy armed with a pack of Skittles, wanted to become a police officer. Looks like it’s time to kiss that dream goodbye. [Los Angeles Times] * Give me your lunch money, kid! Teachers aren’t supposed to be bullying students, but that’s what one Baltimore mother is alleging in a $200K lawsuit against the city’s school board. [New York Daily News]

By Staci Zaretsky
Career Alternatives

Maryland Law’s Response Highlights Career Services ‘Expertise’

On Tuesday, we brought you news of a job opportunity that is currently available on the University of Maryland School of Law's Symplicity job bank. When we first wrote about the listing, we called it a "career services nightmare." After all, the job had more to do with orange parking cones than the law. Instead of hanging their heads in shame for trying to sell a job as a parking garage manager to its students, the career development office issued a vigorous defense of this exciting opportunity in vehicular supervision and coordination. The email was written by the assistant dean for career development herself. What did she have to say?

By Staci Zaretsky
Biglaw

Which DLA Piper Office Operated Under Third-World Conditions?

You know how people make jokes about DLA Piper having offices in all sorts of random places and Third World countries -- er, developing nations? Well, if you like those jokes, you are going to love this story. At one DLA Piper office, they ran out of running water. No water to wash your hands, no water to flush the toilets. But the associates still had to show up for work. Can you guess which office?

By Elie Mystal