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Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 02.18.16

* How low can you go? For the first time in years, enrollment is up at Cooley Law -- by three students. That's the only thing the school will be able to brag about, because the average GPA and LSAT scores of its most recent entering class are the lowest the school has seen in at least a decade. Yikes. [Lansing State Journal] * President Obama has to make quite the decision when it comes to choosing who will be his next SCOTUS appointment. He already faces an uphill battle, so if he were to pick any these five candidates (even the one who was recently confirmed 97-0), it'd likely make things even harder than they already are. [The Fix / Washington Post] * "I'll stay as long as necessary." Activists from Reclaim Harvard Law are occupying a lounge to create a safe space for minorities, and they plan to remain there indefinitely. Armed with blow-up mattresses and blankets, they mean business. [Harvard Crimson] * Charlotte Law launched a compliance certificate program, and anyone who can pay can receive training. Since compliance is booming right now, as InfiLaw graduates, they're better equipped than most for jobs that don't require a law degree. [Charlotte Observer] * A New York judge who prosecuted drunk driving cases earlier in her career was arrested for allegedly driving drunk... while on the way to work to handle arraignments. It's unlikely that she'll return to the bench any time soon. [Democrat and Chronicle]

By Staci Zaretsky
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 01.05.16

* If you haven't been watching Netflix documentary series Making a Murderer, then you're missing Dean Strang's turn on the catwalk. The compassionate defense attorney has turned into an "unlikely sex symbol." Are you part of the #StrangGang? [The Guardian] * Sometime later today, President Barack Obama will announce a sweeping package of executive actions related to gun restrictions. Stay tuned, grab your popcorn, and get ready for some hardcore constitutional litigation. [Washington Post] * Happy New Year! We're not even a full week into 2016, and the first Biglaw merger has already been announced. Lewis Roca Rothgerber has picked up Christie Parker & Hale, a 40-lawyer Southern California IP boutique. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA] * Hipsters, thou shall be avenged sevenfold: The Justice Department has filed suit against Volkswagen in the wake of the automaker's massive emissions scandal. The DOJ is seeking billions in damages over VW's air-pollution violations. [New York Times] * According to Ethan Couch's lawyer, it may be weeks or months before the affluenza teen returns to the United States. A judge issued a temporary stay in his case after Couch argued that being deported from Mexico would somehow violate his civil rights. [CNN] * Robert Wonsch, an Oklahoma process server, was arrested after allegedly coercing his female clients into performing sex acts in exchange for lowering his fees. He's now facing several criminal counts. Good Lord, talk about ineffective service of process... [Reuters] * Dale Bumpers, President Clinton's impeachment defense lawyer, RIP. [New York Times]

By Staci Zaretsky
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 12.23.15

* It's the Miss Universe pageant lawsuit you've all been waiting for: attorneys at a Colombian law firm say they will be filing suit due to Miss Colombia's crowning and de-crowning, noting "the crown is an acquired right that cannot be taken away from us.” [WGNO] * The Federal Circuit handed down a major ruling yesterday, saying that the government can no longer bar the registration of offensive trademarks due to restrictions on free speech. This will likely be appealed to SCOTUS, but the Redskins must be pretty pumped. [Reuters] * In an effort to avoid another Kim Davis fiasco (and to protect clerks' religious beliefs), Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin has signed an executive order directing that his state prepare new marriage licenses without the names of county clerks. [Associated Press] * Lil Wayne may be a "motherf**kin' cash money millionaire," but he reportedly can't spare the cash to pay his attorneys' fees. This marks the second time in recent months that he's been sued for allegedly failing to pay his lawyers what they're owed. [SPIN] * Lakeisha Holloway, the woman accused of using her car to mow down and kill a pedestrian and injure many others on the Las Vegas Strip, has been charged with murder with a deadly weapon. She faces up to 20 years in prison if convicted. [NBC News]

By Staci Zaretsky
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 10.01.15

* Vatican officials confirmed -- or rather, didn't deny -- that Pope Francis did, in fact, have a secret meeting with infamous Kentucky clerk Kim Davis. Hmm, apparently all it takes is denying people their newfound civil rights to get an audience with the Pope. [WSJ Law Blog] * The ABA Accreditation Committee will recommend that the ABA approve the merger between Hamline and William Mitchell. The merger byproduct could be operational in 2016 if all goes well. Is this something we should be excited about? [Hamline University] * On the ninth day of deliberations in the criminal trial of Dewey & LeBoeuf's former executives, jurors were still unable to come to a consensus, and one juror mentioned she'd have to leave early on October 9. Oy vey! Dewey think this jury is hung? [Am Law Daily] * Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin stayed the execution of Richard Glossip -- you may recognize his name from his recent unsuccessful Supreme Court case -- because the drugs the Corrections Department received didn't match protocol. Figures. [Associated Press] * "We are heartened the district attorney has agreed that even a misdemeanor charge would be inappropriate." Prosecutors will not be charging Caitlyn Jenner with vehicular manslaughter in the fatal car crash she was involved in earlier this year. [USA Today]

By Staci Zaretsky
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 09.30.15

* Paul Walker's daughter, 16-year-old Meadow Walker, filed a wrongful death suit against Porsche, alleging the automaker was negligent and strictly liable because the car her father died in had several design defects, namely that it was too fast, too furious. [CNN] * The jury on the Dewey & LeBoeuf criminal trial is having a really difficult time this week. Yesterday, on the eighth day of deliberations, jury members asked for the definition of the word "deliberation" and clarification on what their jobs were as jurors. [Am Law Daily] * If you'd like to know why Hughes Hubbard likely conducted layoffs last week, then look no further than the commentary of this City Private Bank Law Firm Group analyst. Times have officially changed for litigators at large law firms. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg] * In news that no one should find particularly shocking, Albany Law School has announced an affiliation with the University at Albany. Both schools are struggling with enrollment and hungry for cash, so it's a match made in heaven. [Albany Times Union] * “There are 35,000 museums in the U.S. ... [b]ut the great legal profession hasn’t gotten around to establishing one.” Spoke too soon: Say hello to the American Museum of Tort Law, Ralph Nader's house of personal injury horrors. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]

By Staci Zaretsky
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 09.28.15

* Jurors in the criminal trial for former leaders of Dewey & LeBoeuf have reviewed evidence for a full week already, and will return to court today for their eighth day of deliberations. At least the defendants will be able to keep killing time on Candy Crush. [WSJ Law Blog] * A federal judge denied the UFC's motion to dismiss an antitrust lawsuit that was filed against it by current and former fighters over the organization's monopolization of the MMA industry. It's time to bring in an armbar submission artist to stop the UFC for good. [ESPN] * "I don't want to leave my successor a dirty barn." Hot on the heels of his surprise resignation, House Speaker John Boehner has vowed to avoid a government shutdown and pass some legislation before his time is up. Well, it's good to have goals. [Reuters] * Volkswagen can expect nothing less than a "tsunami" of lawsuits and legal proceedings thanks to its emissions scandal. On the bright side, Kirkland & Ellis is going to be able to reap the rewards of thousands of billable hours. [Chicago Tribune; Automotive News] * TV staffers who worked on "The Following" and "The Blacklist" filed suit against production companies Warner Brothers, NBC, and Sony, alleging they were forced to work 24 hours straight -- and pee in bottles -- without being paid overtime. [New York Post]

By Staci Zaretsky
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 08.21.15

* Due to the speed at which she was driving, Caitlyn Jenner could face a vehicular manslaughter charge related to the fatal chain-reaction car crash she was involved in earlier this year. The ESPY-winning celeb's fate is in the district attorney's hands now. [NBC News] * Surprise! David Sweat, one of the New York inmates who led authorities on a three-week manhunt after he escaped from prison in June, pleaded not guilty to felony escape charges at his arraignment. He'll likely get a few years added onto his life sentence if he's convicted. [Reuters] * Oh baby: Valeant is buying Sprout Pharmaceuticals, the maker of the "female Viagra," for a cool $1 billion. Skadden Arps and Sullivan & Cromwell, the firms repping the companies, must be turned on by the deal. [DealBook / New York Times; Am Law Daily] * Prosecutors in the David Messerschmitt case are seeking a 25-year sentence for Jamyra Gallmon, the woman who stabbed the DLA Piper associate in a robbery-gone-wrong and left him for dead in a D.C. hotel room. Her attorney is asking for 18 years. [Legal Times] * The Florida Bar is recommending disbarment for a group of attorneys accused of arranging a DUI arrest for a rival attorney during a high-profile trial. You've got to admit this set-up was a particularly bold move, even for Flori-duh lawyers. [Tampa Bay Times]

By Staci Zaretsky