CBS

Good luck getting Melania to move to Dallas.

Now, suddenly, the firm has nothing to say about the matter.

* A new lawsuit alleges that a radio personality’s “rabid” fans forced a Florida man to leave the Sunshine State. Maybe the plaintiff was just a “snow bird”… [Tampa Bay Times]

* The highest-paid lawyers at Viacom/CBS were paid $12.7 million last year. [Bloomberg Law]

* The Supreme Court handed Google a win over Oracle in a longstanding copyright dispute. Maybe the justices just hate using Bing… [CNN]

* Harvey Weinstein has filed an appeal of his criminal conviction. [Fox News]

* A group of farmers recently filed an antitrust lawsuit against a number of agricultural companies. [AP]

* A Florida lawyer is getting recognition for helping professional wrestlers trademark parts of their personas. Guess he smells what the Rock is cooking… money. [Tampa Bay Times]

* A law firm suing New York delis and restaurants for purported wage violations allegedly used inaccurate work records. Guess it is alleged they are full of bologna… [New York Post]

* A defaced billboard for a New Orleans attorney claims the lawyer is a bad restaurant tipper. [Newsweek]

* A lawyer accidentally locked himself in handcuffs while preparing for a demonstration in a murder case and then realized he didn’t have the key. Got to hand it to the attorney for his dedication. [Times]

* There may be new attacks on Obamacare at the Supreme Court. [Vox]

* CBS Studios says a lawsuit over the rebooted MacGyver series “suffers from fatal, incurable deficiencies.” Nothing a pocket knife and some duct tape can’t fix… [Deadline]

* Reps. Jim Jordan and Mark Meadows have referred Michael Cohen to the Justice Department, claiming that they have evidence that Trump’s former fixer “committed perjury and knowingly made false statements“ during his testimony before the House Oversight Committee. [CNN]

* Meanwhile, thanks to Cohen’s testimony, Allen Weisselberg, the longtime chief financial officer of the Trump Organization who has already been granted immunity by SDNY prosecutors, will be called to testify before the House Intelligence Committee. [Daily Beast]

* Almost time to say hello to Judge Neomi Rao: The nominee to replace Justice Brett Kavanaugh on the D.C. Circuit got through the Senate Judiciary Committee on a party-line vote, and the full Senate is likely to vote her onto the bench. [NBC News]

* Lawrence Tu, the chief legal officer over at CBS, has resigned from his post and will be leaving the company in April. His leave follows the ouster of former CEO Les Moonves, who allegedly sexually harassed several employees. [New York Law Journal]

* Much to the Justice Department’s chagrin, a three-judge panel of the D.C. Circuit unanimously ruled that not only may AT&T acquire Time Warner but that such a combination would be unlikely to harm competition. [Wall Street Journal]

* Ho Ka Terence Yung, the ex-UT Law student who pleaded guilty to terrorizing an admissions interviewer after he was rejected from Georgetown Law, was just sentenced to almost four years in prison for one count of cyberstalking. [Law.com]

* Lincoln Bandlow, a Fox Rothschild partner who some have referred to as a “porn copyright troll,” got sanctioned $750 by a federal judge after missing court deadlines in at least two dozen of those porn infringement cases. [American Lawyer]

The fact that CBS won’t run an ad by a billion-dollar medical cannabis company that employs John Boehner says a lot about the power of stigma.

Yeah, this seems like material information.

She deserved to get fired. She doesn't deserve to become a pawn.

* A fun new hobby for legal and political junkies to enjoy together: A Trump litigation watch list. [CNN]

* Let’s hear it for regulations! An EU law mandating that large trucks have an advanced emergency braking system is believed to have saved additional lives in the Berlin Christmas market attack that killed 12. [Washington Post]

* Burke Ramsey, JonBenet’s brother, is suing CBS — as well as experts and consultants — for defamation over a TV special that advanced the theory he killed his sister. [Entertainment Weekly]

* There might actually be some good news on the horizon for public defender offices that have seen their budgets slashed. [ABA Journal]

* A now-defunct medical laboratory is challenging the authority of the Federal Trade Commission to regulate online security. [National Law Journal]

Latest Colbert legal drama is stupid but unsurprising.

* President Obama will announce his pick to replace the late Justice Antonin Scalia later this morning. Which member of the D.C. Circuit will he choose, Judge Sri Srinivasan or Judge Merrick Garland? America will find out at 11 a.m., and then the real political circus of trying to get a confirmation hearing will begin. [New York Times]

* “Republicans know they can’t get away with complete and total obstruction, so they may try to set up a double standard.” Senate Republicans have refused to fill the vacancy left on the Supreme Court left by the late Justice Antonin Scalia, but it looks like more than 30 other federal judicial nominees may have been caught in the political fray. [AP]

* After having a district court judge’s deferred compensation remedy slapped down by the Ninth Circuit, lawyers in the O’Bannon NCAA student-athlete pay case have asked the Supreme Court to grant certiorari. The lawyers involved “[feel] so strongly in the principles involved” that they don’t care if they lose their fees and costs. [USA Today]

* A small victory for a washed-up Mean Girl? Lindsay Lohan has never really had much success when it comes to suing others on the basis of likeness appropriation, but a New York judge has refused to dismiss her case against Rockstar Games over a look-alike character in Grand Theft Auto V. You go, girl! [THR, ESQ. / Hollywood Reporter]

* Per Lex Machina, after a slow 2014, patent litigation rose by 14.7 percent in 2015. What’s troubling to some lawyers, though, is that all of the action has migrated to Texas courts: “Why should this little corner that’s not particularly a hotbed of innovation have such an important role to play in patent law?” [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* Talent agency Rebel Entertainment Partners is suing CBS, the TV station that airs “Judge Judy,” because it claims Judge Judy is taking in such a high salary that the network has been unable to dole out its contractually obligated payments. Although she’s not named in the suit, Judge Judy, full of sarcasm, says this is “hilarious.” [Variety]

* “Every school has had to make choices, even at the top. This has been upheaval for everyone.” With a significant drop in applicants, the crisis in legal education has reached the members of the T14, the very best law schools in the country. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA] * Another lawyer has filed […]

Could somebody help me get this Showtime charge off my Time Warner Cable bill?

Ed. note: Above the Law will not be publishing on Monday, May 27, in observance of the Memorial Day holiday. * Manhattan Justice Paul Wooten has ordered CBS to produce all emails between it and the Brooklyn DA’s office concerning “Brooklyn D.A.” and ordered a hearing this afternoon. CBS attorneys are irritated. Now they know how everyone feels when they have to watch Two and a Half Men. [WiseLaw NY] * Lois Lerner, the embattled IRS supervisor at the heart of the recent scandal, invoked the Fifth Amendment in her congressional hearing, but in a way that may open the door to contempt. Ironically, maintaining innocence while invoking the Fifth opens one up to “heightened scrutiny.” As noted in Morning Docket, she’s been put on administrative leave. [Simple Justice] * T.J. Duane of Lateral Link was named one of the 17 Stanford business students who is going to change the world. Duane is working on technology to “provid[e] solo and boutique attorneys the benefits without the drawbacks of big law.” That’s much better than my proposal to provide solo and boutique attorneys the drawbacks without the benefits of big law, which is just a device that passive-aggressively second-guesses every decision a lawyer makes. [Business Insider] * The U.S. Chamber of Commerce has asked the Supreme Court to uphold the D.C. Circuit’s decision holding Obama’s NLRB recess appointments unconstitutional because the appointments caused “major confusion for both employers and employees alike.” They’ve got a point. Not having a quorum on the NLRB because the Senate refuses to confirm anyone and plays parliamentary games does provide certainty… the certainty that the NLRB cannot function and its a free-for-all against workers. [Free Enterprise] * Law school applications are down, but not as drastically as expected. [Faculty Lounge] * In any event, law schools are facing an economic reckoning dubbed “Peak Law School.” [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * A new CBO report analyzes the impact of a carbon tax, in case you’re preparing to start papering cap-and-trade deals. [Breaking Energy] * Do potential clients really care about social media? I “Like” this story. [Associate's Mind] * Courtesy of the ABA Journal, you can check out the swag Chief Justice Roberts and Eric Holder got from foreign nations in 2010 after the jump…

A reality show about a district attorney may violate campaign finance laws,

* Dewey even care if we spent money like it was going out of print? A new D&L bankruptcy court filing states that the failed firm used $43M of secured lenders’ funds in less than a month in an attempt to save the ship from sinking. [Bloomberg]

* The Jerry Sandusky trial continues: Mike McQueary’s testimony in the former football coach’s case was pretty disgusting, but then again, most things are going to be pretty disgusting when you’re dealing with an alleged child predator. [Daily Item]

* A few ways you can tell this isn’t England: 1) our dental hygiene is generally better; 2) our royalty is entirely made up of reality TV stars; and 3) you still can’t serve people via social networking sites like Facebook. [paidContent]

* Foul ball(s)! Remember Clark Calvin Griffith, the former William Mitchell adjunct sports law professor who was accused of unsportsmanlike penile conduct? He pleaded guilty to indecent exposure. [Pioneer Press]

* “Do I have to read the whole settlement?” Yup! UC Irvine Law’s consumer protection clinic will work to see if banks are keeping their end of the bargain in a $25B foreclosure-abuse settlement. [Los Angeles Times]

* Anna Gristina, the accused “Millionaire Madam,” claims in a motion to dismiss that police tried to make her name her johns, one of whom is apparently “a prominent Manhattan lawyer.” But which one? [New York Post]

* CBS claims that ABC’s “Glass House” is a rip off of “Big Brother,” and the network is trying to block the show from airing. OMG, please let it air so we can see this law school dropout in action. [Celebrity Justice / FindLaw]

* Sorry, Obama, but Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is alive, well, and doesn’t plan on retiring any time soon. No more Supreme Court appointments for you, buddy boy. [The Oval / USA Today] * Judge William Adams will not face charges over the beating of his daughter, Hillary Adams, due to the statute of limitations. […]