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Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 05.18.23

* Fifth Circuit judge scolds attorney for "personal attack" because she accurately described the district court opinion as unprecedented. As Inigo Montoya would put it, "I don't think that word means what Judge Elrod thinks it means. [Slate] * After watching Disney's experience beating up on Florida lawyers, Penguin Random House is starting to sue Florida school districts for banning books. [AP] * Montana has banned TikTok in a reminder that "free speech" is now limited to punishing students for carrying mean signs during FedSoc events. [Wall Street Journal] * Deutsche Bank paying $75 million to settle claims that the bank facilitated Jeffrey Epstein's sex trafficking operations. Another win for Boies Schiller Flexner and Edwards Pottinger representing Epstein's victims. [Reuters] * Massachusetts US Attorney accused of abuse of power "to achieve a political goal epitomiz[ing] the type of 'political justice' that Congress intended to prohibit." Too bad she wasn't a judge taking free vacations from parties before the court... she'd be home free by now.[Law360] * WilmerHale earned 5 percent of its total revenue from Meta, the company you remember as Facebook before they completely retooled to chase a creepy VR chat room that they've since killed after costing the company about $13 billion. Which is all to say that Wilmer may want to diversify its revenue streams at this rate. [Bloomberg Law News] * A discussion of Shadow Docket by Steve Vladeck (affiliate link). [ABA Journal]

By Above the Law
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 07.22.19

* In a series of wide-ranging interviews across the political spectrum — or “Fake News,” per President Trump — the commander in chief’s closest allies admitted that they didn’t think he had any idea what he’d done or what kind of havoc he’d wreaked with his racist tweets. [Washington Post] * According to House Judiciary Chairman Jerry Nadler, former special counsel Robert Mueller’s report contains "very substantial evidence" that the president is "guilty of high crimes and misdemeanors.” Let’s see if Mueller’s testimony can change any minds on impeachment. [CNN] * After one scandal too many, it looks like Deutsche Bank has decided to hire someone new to look after its legal and regulatory affairs. [Corporate Counsel] * Students and alumni from Penn Law are calling for Professor Amy Wax’s ouster from faculty teaching duties following her latest foray into racism. [Big Law Business] * Aside from Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld and Clayton Kozinski, who else will be clerking for Supreme Court justices for the upcoming October term? In addition to these controversial choices, we’ve got the second blind person to ever clerk at the high court, and someone who was picked dead last in the 2010 MLB draft. [Associated Press] * Joan Bullock, former dean of Thomas Jefferson Law School, has decamped to become Dean at the Texas Southern University Thurgood Marshall School of Law. Congrats! [National Jurist]

By Staci Zaretsky
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 05.20.19

* Anti-money laundering specialists at Deutsche Bank reportedly saw suspicious activity in accounts belonging to Donald Trump and Jared Kushner and thought it ought to be reported to the Treasury Department‘s financial-crimes unit, but... that never happened because “[i]t’a the D.B. way.” [New York Times] * That’s one way to land a Biglaw job: According to Greg Craig, there was nothing “improper or tawdry” about him asking Skansen Arps to hire Paul Manafort’s daughter to get more business. In fact, he says this sort of thing happens “daily in private law firms.” [POLITICO] * In case you missed it, on Friday afternoon, the American Bar Association adopted a controversial new bar-pass accreditation standard that requires at least 75 percent of a law school’s students to pass the bar within two years of graduation. How many law schools are going to close thanks to this new rule? [Law.com] * Stormy Daniels has reached a settlement with Michael Cohen in a suit that was filed by her former attorney Michael Avenatti over Donald Trump’s affair hush money, saying she’s “ready to move on and put these cases behind her.” [Los Angeles Times] * Is the billable hour what’s driving all of the mental health and burnout issues that lawyers are facing? All signs seem to point to yes, but at least some firms are trying to figure out a new way to do business. [Law.com]

By Staci Zaretsky
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 01.24.19

* With Ben Brafman off the case, Harvey Weinstein is going with the Casey Anthony/Aaron Hernandez/Kobe Bryant defense team. For a New York courtroom. [New York Law Journal] * And some of these new Weinstein lawyers previously represented Rose McGowan on an unrelated matter. She is... less than pleased with this development. [Yahoo] * Reed Smith facing $500 million malpractice claim from Zombie Bear Sterns. [American Lawyer] * Deutsche Bank neck deep in global money-laundering inquiry. At least there's no way this could ensnare any major political figures. [Law360] * Federal judge strikes down Iowa's "we're banning abortion but not calling it that" law. [Jurist] * What will happen to the legal profession during the next recession? Well, it could well be quite the reckoning. [Forbes] * A deep dive into the crackdown on law schools that can't get graduates past the bar exam hurdle. [AZ Central]

By Joe Patrice
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 11.08.17

* Three UCLA basketball players were arrested for shoplifting in China and face the prospect of being stranded there while the case plays out -- which some experts say could take years. International law expert LaVar Ball doesn't think it's a big deal though, so there's that. [CBS News] * Jury finds JPMorgan Chase liable for unlawful retaliation, prompting Judge Denise Cote to rail against the jury as prejudiced and suggest that she'll be throwing out the verdict. The case has dragged on for seven years, but Judge Cote seems adamant that we'll continue to try it again and again until people realize that banks can't commit wrongdoing. [Law360] * Fish & Richardson and Fish IP Law end their legal fight over the rights to the name. Good for them... there's plenty of Fish in the sea. [The Recorder] * Hundreds of civil rights groups have lined up to oppose the latest DC Circuit Nominee Greg Katsas. While the groups outline multiple problems with his nomination, the fact that he's been actively involved in vetting other Trump judicial nominees seems the most damning indict of his judgment. [National Law Journal] * Deutsche Bank names Florian Drinhausen of Linklaters as its new GC. Deutsche Bank previously had two GCs working in tandem but realized that undermined their ability to complain about bills reflecting inefficient work. [Corporate Counsel] * FCPA cases are on the decline -- is Trump's animosity toward anti-corruption laws to blame? [NPR]

By Joe Patrice
Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 06.09.17

* Donald Trump has said that he is willing to testify, under oath, to dispute James Comey's Senate testimony. The progressive stages of grief go something like this... Denial: He'll never do it. Anger: He SHOULD, lying orange f**k. Bargaining: 'Course, he's crazy enough that he just might do it. Depression: Like any of these spineless Republicans would prosecute him for the perjury he'd certainly commit anyway. Acceptance: Donald Trump is going to be president for the rest of my life. [CNN] * Deutsche Bank is standing by their man, and their man is Donald Trump [Levin Report] * ACLU is suing Missouri to stop implementation of Voter ID law. [Election Law Blog] * Uh oh, the police mistakenly left their latest young black shooting victim alive to tell his side of the story. [The Root] * This week in white people. [CNN] * Trump's social media director violated the Hatch Act. If Obama's social media director did that, it'd lead the news. If Hillary's social media director did that, there'd be Senate hearings. But it's Trump's so... people will treat it like the minor story it is. [Huffington Post] * White victimization media is very concerned about bad language. Yeah, the same people who elected the most openly foul-mouthed president since recording devices were invented are very concerned that Senator Kristen Gillibrand has been dropping some F-bombs at events. And they seem giddy that Reza Aslan has been dropped from CNN after some Tweets where he called President Trump a "piece of s**t." I gotta agree with CNN here: insulting fecal matter is unprofessional. Most decent people would rather have a steaming turd representing America than the orange embarrassment we're currently stuck with, so Aslan seems way out of line. [Breitbart]

By Elie Mystal