Ethan Couch

This isn't the first time since the "affluenza" trial that Couch has gotten into trouble.

Everyone remembers Ethan Couch, right? Well, he's out, so let the terrible media takes begin again.

* “You’re not getting out of jail today.” Affluenza teen Ethan Couch has been sentenced as an affluenza adult to serve four consecutive 180-day terms for each person who was killed in a fatal drunken-driving car crash he caused in 2013. The judge may reconsider Couch’s sentence in two weeks. [NBC News]

* Who will be the next chair of Baker & McKenzie? Four prominent partners have put their names forward to compete for the title. This would be much more entertaining if it were a Biglaw ladder match where we could watch Paul Rawlinson, Gary Senior, Claudia Prado, and Eric Lasry fight for the shiniest brass ring of them all. [Big Law Business]

* If only law schools had more clinical opportunities for future corporate drones: Law schools have offered students more chances to perform public interest work, but this law professor worries schools are “inculcat[ing] law students with a responsibility of social justice that reflects the morality of the faculty and administration.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* “It doesn’t cry out as a triable case.” Andrew Caspersen, the high-flying Harvard Law grad charged with a $95 million fraud scheme, likely won’t face trial. His lawyer says that he thinks his client’s criminal case will be resolved within the next 60 days. He thinks the case will end in a settlement with the SEC. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Sources say that Donald Trump’s campaign manager Corey Lewandowski will not be prosecuted for battery after an incident with former Breitbart reporter Michelle Fields following a press conference in March. Apparently the Palm Beach County State Attorney’s Office has a “higher standard to go forward with a prosecution.” [POLITICO]

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Staci Zaretsky is an editor at Above the Law. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments. Follow her on Twitter or connect with her on LinkedIn.

* The cynical reality of the coming constitutional fights. [Eric Posner]

* It doesn’t look like the Supreme Court will stop North Carolina’s redistricting order. [Politico]

* Can Chief Justice Roberts save the Court from partisan politics? [New Republic]

* The First Amendment even applies to lawyers with blogs. [Consumer Law & Policy Blog]

* The perfect way to make sure you are in compliance with every law and regulation, according to Professors Dan Solove and Woodrow Hartzog. [SSRN]

* Affluenza teen grows up! Ethan Couch will be tried as an adult. [Gawker]

* David Lat tells you how to take control of your career. [Legal Talk Network]

* “This is, since the recession, the most robust job growth we’ve seen.” Nearly all students who worked at Biglaw firms this past summer as associates received offers of full-time employment. Offer rates haven’t been this high in more than a decade. [National Law Journal]

* Mommy, wow! I’m a big kid now! Affluenza teen Ethan Couch was finally deported from Mexico and booked into a juvenile detention center. Today, we’ll see if he’ll be moved to a big-boy jail, and in February, we’ll see if his case is moved to the grown-up court system. [Associated Press]

* Sorry, Hillary Clinton, but President Obama has no desire to be on SCOTUS. According to White House press secretary Josh Earnest, while Obama “would have plenty of ideas for how he would do a job like that,” he “may have other things to do.” [The Hill]

* It’s so hard to get execution drugs that Mississippi Attorney General Jim Hood is asking state legislators for alternative methods for carrying out death sentences, like death by firing squad, electrocution, and hanging. Seems reasonable? [Reuters]

* Arizona is so eager to kill people it hired Alston & Bird to go up against the Food and Drug Administration in the state’s quest to obtain the release of a shipment of execution drugs that it had imported to the country from India this summer. [BuzzFeed News]

* If you haven’t been watching Netflix documentary series Making a Murderer, then you’re missing Dean Strang’s turn on the catwalk. The compassionate defense attorney has turned into an “unlikely sex symbol.” Are you part of the #StrangGang? [The Guardian]

* Sometime later today, President Barack Obama will announce a sweeping package of executive actions related to gun restrictions. Stay tuned, grab your popcorn, and get ready for some hardcore constitutional litigation. [Washington Post]

* Happy New Year! We’re not even a full week into 2016, and the first Biglaw merger has already been announced. Lewis Roca Rothgerber has picked up Christie Parker & Hale, a 40-lawyer Southern California IP boutique. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* Hipsters, thou shall be avenged sevenfold: The Justice Department has filed suit against Volkswagen in the wake of the automaker’s massive emissions scandal. The DOJ is seeking billions in damages over VW’s air-pollution violations. [New York Times]

* According to Ethan Couch’s lawyer, it may be weeks or months before the affluenza teen returns to the United States. A judge issued a temporary stay in his case after Couch argued that being deported from Mexico would somehow violate his civil rights. [CNN]

* Robert Wonsch, an Oklahoma process server, was arrested after allegedly coercing his female clients into performing sex acts in exchange for lowering his fees. He’s now facing several criminal counts. Good Lord, talk about ineffective service of process… [Reuters]

* Dale Bumpers, President Clinton’s impeachment defense lawyer, RIP. [New York Times]

* Everyone was under the impression that Dickstein Shapiro and Bryan Cave would be tying the knot by the year’s end, but instead, it looks like their brief love affair has turned into a bad romance. Oh no! Will Dickstein Shapiro be left at the altar? [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* “The idea they own the name ‘blue’ for a manual for legal citations is ridiculous.” A rival citation guide to The Bluebook will be released in 2016, using the name “BabyBlue.” Since a Biglaw IP attorney is involved in the copyright clash, this is already more exciting than techciting. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Ethan Couch, the Texas teen who was too rich to realize his actions had consequences, was apparently also too rich to realize he shouldn’t hide out in a ritzy vacation locale in Mexico while on the run from police with his mother. Damn you, affluenza! [CNN]

* If you’re looking for a law firm where you can take time off whenever you want and still earn a healthy paycheck, then look no further than Ashton KCJ Lawyers in England. That’s a perk we’re sure attorneys in the U.S. would love their firms to adopt. [Mirror]

* Annie, get your gun: Gun-toting Texans are going to have a very happy new year, because come January 1, 2016, the state’s new open carry law will go into effect. The open carrying of handguns had previously been banned in the state since 1865. [RT]

* Jeffrey Feulner, founder of the Men’s Divorce Law Firm, was charged with domestic violence battery after he allegedly attacked his wife. She filed for divorce three days later — and presumably used a more woman-friendly lawyer as counsel. [Orlando Sentinel]

* It’s only been two weeks since Charlie Sheen’s HIV reveal, and the lawsuits are already starting to roll in. The actor’s ex-fiancée is suing him for big bucks and claims he failed to disclose his status to her before having unprotected sex, which is a felony in California. [Deadline]

* When you somehow avoid jail time by asserting an improbable “affluenza” defense after killing people in a drunk-driving wreck, it figures that your downfall comes via tweet. Start out your day by checking out the video of “ya boy ethan couch [allegedly] violating probation.” [Dallas Morning News]

* Remember the law prof who was banned from SUNY Buffalo Law’s campus for allegedly violating its workplace violence policy and then sued the former dean for defamation? A judge has recommended that the case be dismissed. [Buffalo News]

* Biglaw attorneys are descending upon the 21st annual Conference of the Parties (COP 21), because after all, they’ll be able to entertain clients with tales about the legalities of renewables to cut greenhouse gas emissions. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* Law school admins are confident the number of applicants will increase, and while fee waivers still abound, pre-law students are expecting the cycle to be “competitive.” A pulse AND the ability to sign loan docs will now be required. [Daily Pennsylvanian]

The Affluenza controversy was messed up enough. Now the kid's lawyers are trying to use another kind of privilege to keep his diagnosis from coming up in a civil case.

Instead of blaming the kid for killing four people, can we figure out a way to blame the parents?