* You think Trump is going to turn himself in? Unrelated, I've got a bridge to sell you in Brooklyn. [Newsweek]
* Hofstra Law's asylum clinic is doing more than teaching students. It’s changing lives. [Newsday]
* Will be hard for Trump to take the "I'll just pardon myself" route if he can't even run for office a second time. [Forbes]
* Slow Work Doesn't Excuse Slow Billing! Biglaw firms are cracking down on lazy time entry. [American Lawyer]
* Is Hawaiian Electrical Ind. Inc. basically a governmental agency? If so, they're about to be out of a lot of money. [Yahoo!]
* I love some good parody and a good whiskey. What will SCOTUS think of a parody of whiskey? [ABA Journal]
* Take my food and I'll take you to court! Grubhub, Uber Eats, and Postmates can't arbitrate their way out of this one. [Reuters]
* Kirkland & Ellis is pulling Metallica's strings advising this acquisition. [Bloomberg Law]
* To Life, Liberty, and a Right to A Stable Climate. [Bloomberg Law]
* The stakes are climbing against TikTok. I doubt a dance challenge will get to the root of this. [Ars Technica]
* So I guess we'll just be allowing untraceable guns to roam the streets of America now. Thanks, Bruen! [The Hill]
* Prosecution of the Parkland shooter has brought conversations on the death penalty back to the forefront. [Politico]
* Black history month came early! Lawyers across the pond talk diversity. [Law.com]
* Conservatives are still pressed about being the real victims of cancel culture. Check out this hot take on the newest Yale controversy. [Newsweek]
* ...I'd reconsider that 2 month rental in Honolulu if I were you. [Star Adviser]
* Troubling confession: Lawyer fined for warning school of a priest’s history of sexual misconduct. [The Guardian]
* Pig in the mine: California’s pork law is an unexpected proxy for the legal side of the culture war. [Cal Matters]
* Gauntlet thrown: Hawaii won’t make it easy for other states to criminalize abortion. [Huff Po]
* No laughing matter: Comedians claim Atlanta airport’s search practices use racial profiling. [AP]
* The right to cancel loans? You should read up on this cease and desist. [Business Insider]
* Focus, Gov: Hawaii law prevents Governor from moonlighting for Uber as a side gig. [Star Advertiser]
* While it is hard to beat learning torts in pajamas, law students still prefer the real thing. [Reuters]
* More ethanol in Des Moines, please! Iowa law mandates ethanol increase in fuel. [Times Republican]
* NY aims to prevent the use of rap lyrics in criminal cases. About time. [Digital Music News]
* Dark trendsetting: Overturning Roe v. Wade will have global spillover. [The Guardian]
* No faux zone: Hawaii 5-0 are cracking down on bootleg Super Bowl gear. [Hawaii News Now]
* A celebrity with a cause: Senators agree to revive law that boosts domestic violence protections after Angelina Jolie scolds them. [Reuters]
* Cali makes it easier for farmers to crop out their crops. [KSBY]
* Why did the mountain lion cross the road? Well, it's not like there was an overpass! Some new Cali infrastructure aims to change that. [NPR]
* Looking for love this February? Protect your heart and pockets: money scams on Tinder are up. [MyPanHandle]
* A new lawsuit claims that King's Hawaiian bread misleads customers into thinking the bread is baked in the Aloha State. Maybe someone can claim they were misled into thinking the Hawaiian bread contained pineapple... [New York Post]
* A Chinese lawyer has been sentenced to four years in prison for seemingly reporting on the COVID-19 pandemic. [NPR]
* A South Florida attorney has been subject to an emergency suspension for erratic conduct, including verbal abuse that purportedly made some clients cry. [Daily Business Review]
* Federal health authorities have recommended that certain judges and lawyers be given priority for the COVID-19 vaccines. [Texas Lawyer]
* The Trump Campaign has filed another appeal at the Supreme Court seeking to overturn results of the election last month. If at first you don't succeed... [Independent]
* The Supreme Court is allowing an antitrust case against the NFL to move forward. The XFL is still around to compete with the NFL...right? [Chicago Sun Tribune]
* A Texas lawyer has been disciplined for stealing LegalZoom referrals from the firm that employed her. [Texas Lawyer]
* The Attorney General of South Dakota was reportedly distracted before allegedly striking a pedestrian earlier this year. [Hill]
* The Surgeon General of the United States has pleaded not guilty to allegedly being in a park that was closed to slow the spread of COVID-19. [AP]
* A lawsuit alleging that Amazon did not do enough to protect its workers from COVID-19 has been dismissed. [CNN]
* A lot of billable hours may be recorded in the legal battles that may arise after the presidential election. [Fox News]
* The Department of Justice has backed a lawsuit against Hawaii over the state's mandatory quarantine for out-of-state travelers. Maybe DOJ lawyers just really want to visit the Aloha state... [Fox News]
* A South Carolina lawyer has been disbarred for making numerous false and misleading statements on her bar application. [Bloomberg Law]
* A lawyer who walked out on a client during settlement negotiations is on the hook for a $300,000 malpractice verdict. [Legal Newswire]
* The Second Circuit expressed bewilderment while considering the bail request of two lawyers charged with firebombing an NYPD police vehicle during protests last month. [Law360]
* Bayer has agreed to pay $10 billion into a settlement fund to resolve thousands of lawsuits related to the weedkiller Roundup. And Bayer was able to settle the lawsuits without having to pay two plaintiffs' lawyers a $200 million "consultation" fee. [NBC News]
* Out of the mouths of babes federal judges: “Those conclusions – that the president’s statements on national security are not always to be taken literally or to be trusted – are legal victories for his Justice Department....” Did you think you’d ever see a something like this written about the U.S. president? That’s our Trump! [USA Today]
* A good New Year’s resolution for the federal judiciary? Chief Justice John Roberts says that while progress has been made when it comes to protecting law clerks from sexual harassment, “[t]he job is not finished until we have done all that we can to ensure that all of our employees are treated with fairness, dignity, and respect.” [Washington Post]
* The American Federation of Government Employees, a labor union for federal employees, has filed suit against the government, claiming that requiring essential employees to work without pay during the shutdown — an "inhumane" practice for people who don’t know when their next paycheck is coming — violates the Fair Labor Standards Act. [CNN]
* Barbara Underwood really made a name for herself during her short tenure as New York’s first female attorney general. After she was thrust into the role, she quickly began her assault against President Donald Trump, eventually taking down his charitable foundation after alleging that he was using it as a front for his his private businesses and political campaign. [NBC News]
* Yet again, it’s time for women in Biglaw to celebrate fractional achievements for gender equality. According the Diversity and Flexibility Alliance, 39 percent of new partners named at Am Law firms were women, which was a “slight uptick,” but “the numbers really haven’t changed that much in the last five years.” Hooray. [Big Law Business]
* It’s a new year, so you know there are going to be a bunch of interesting new laws. Here are just a few: In California, domestic-violence convicts can lose their gun rights for life; in Hawaii, physician-assisted suicide is now legal; in Virginia, legislators and their staff members must undergo mandatory sexual-harassment training; and in New York City, non-binary people can now list their gender as “X” on birth certificates. [Wall Street Journal]
