Ireland

* Why not both? Bilingual firms come with search engine benefits! [Forbes]

* Indiana looks for disciplinary options for young kids that don’t involve them being behind bars. The kiddie orange jumpsuit market will never be the same. [Fox]

* Dechert’s Dublin office just picked up a new partner. Irish bread is on the rise! [Law.com]

* Senator Collins is still fighting for federal protections for abortion access. [WGME]

Let’s hope we can toast to these children and their Irish passports over a pint of Guinness soon.

Unclear if fast food giant aware that Ireland is a thing.

* It’s official: a judge has ruled Beyoncé’s landmark visual album, Lemonade, did not infringe on a white dude’s indie film. [Hollywood Reporter]

* Tim Cook is pissed off about his Irish tax bill. [Huffington Post]

* Will writing these things on legal documents get you fired? [Defenestration Magazine]

* The chances of lawyers landing on their feet when they’ve been fired at 61. [Law and More]

* Does the length of a jury’s deliberation have a correlation to the verdict returned? [Versus Texas]

Turns out there are consequences for playing “Weekend at Bernie’s” with the Celtic Tiger.

* In case you haven’t been keeping score like we have, these are the firms that recently raised salaries: Lowenstein Sandler and Venable (kind of). If you’re ever worried that you’ve missed any of our coverage on pay raises, you can check out our omnibus 2016 salary chart where we collect these stories. [2016 Salary Increase / Above the Law]

* “Imitation is NOT the most sincere form of flattery.” Not long after filing suit against Ivanka Trump on similar grounds, Aquazzura seeks to plant its dainty foot firmly up Steve Madden’s ass with a series of trade-dress infringement suits for what the Italian company alleges are knockoffs of some of its most popular shoe designs. [Observer]

* Will law school graduates be the next ones to have their student loans canceled? Thanks to the Department of Education’s proposal of an expanded debt forgiveness rule last week, law school graduates may be able to qualify for a “defense to repayment” provision — and escape their debt — if they can prove they were defrauded. [BuzzFeed]

* “I’m just not taking any chances with my legal profession. It’s very difficult to qualify as a solicitor and I’m not willing to just give it up because the U.K. decides to vote out the EU.” British attorneys specializing in antitrust law are registering as Irish solicitors for fear of losing their ability to practice EU law. Thanks, Brexit. [Big Law Business]

* Blank Rome is adding Stacy Phillips’s celebrity divorce boutique to its firm. Over the course of her career, Phillips has represented many “high-net-worth, high-end clients,” the likes of which include Britney Spears and Bobby Brown. With the addition of her small firm, Blank Rome’s family-law group will grow to 30 attorneys. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Allowing abortions only in cases where the life of the mother is at stake doesn’t actually protect the life of the mother. [Slate] * Chief Justice Roberts decided that living in a glass house shouldn’t prevent him from throwing a few stones. [Atlantic] * It’s that time of year when we start seeing lists of things to buy for the lawyers in your life. [Constitutional Daily] * You realize that people aren’t actually going to pay these loans back, you know. [Economix / New York Times] * Wow, there was a whole day in New York City where nobody got shot, stabbed, or raped. [Reuters] * While you contemplate living in a dangerous city, check out this list of most dangerous campuses. [Business Insider] * Hopefully you guys have noticed Above the Law in the News category on the ABA Blawg 100, but don’t forget to look at all the different sections and vote for your favorite sites. [ABA Journal]

We learn the surprisingly simple -- and refreshing -- backstory to a Quinn Emanuel partner's sudden departure.

Why did a Quinn Emanuel partner suddenly withdraw from the Apple v. Samsung case -- and then from the firm altogether?

* Only in Texas can a judge get paid leave after a video of him beating his daughter’s ass goes viral. Makes you wonder about the kind of crazy sh*t you’d need to do to get stuck with unpaid leave. [KRIS TV] * A federal judge has ordered Paul Ceglia to return from Ireland to […]