Jordan Belfort

Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 05.17.18

* A whistleblower reports that SARS reports regarding Michael Cohen's transactions are missing from FINCEN. SARS don't just disappear without a trace... well, the disease did, but the reports shouldn't. [New Yorker] * After passing an abortion law accomplishing little more than exposing the state's taxpayers to litigation expense, Iowa is going to have to find someone else to defend it because Attorney General Tom Miller wants no part of it. [ABC] * The FTC's new consumer protection chief represented payday lenders, and really what's so bad about a 110 percent interest rate anyway? [The Hill] * Wolf of Wall Street needs to up his payments to victims. [Law360] * Facebook is getting into the blockchain game meaning soon your vacation photos will overtake Bitcoin as the most inherently worthless thing backed by blockchain. [Legaltech News] * An interview with a federal magistrate judge finally answers the question: what's the penalty for Yogi Bear stealing a picnic basket? [Coverage Opinions] * The Senate, against all odds, voted to save net neutrality yesterday. [Courthouse News Service]

By Joe Patrice
Benchslaps

Morning Docket: 01.31.14

* Quinn Emanuel got a pretty harsh benchslap from Judge Paul Grewal over its litigation strategy in the Apple / Samsung case, calling it “650 lawyers wide and one lawyer deep.” Sick burn, Judge. [Courthouse News Service] * At Cardozo Law, Jordan Belfort’s former lawyer says that the movie Wolf of Wall Street “played down the sex and drugs.” Dear Lord, if that’s the case, Leo’s muse should be happy he’s alive. [DealBook / New York Times] * “I’ve been around the block. And I’ve never seen an attorney general sanctioned.” Ahh, the rarest rose. Nevada’s AG was sanctioned for failing to provide evidence in a fraud case against a mortgage lender. [Forbes] * Eighteen people were arrested for their alleged attempts to market and sell Super Bowl “party packs” to football fans. It’s pretty sick, but you’d got to admit that hookers and blow beat wings any day of the week. [Bloomberg] * Law schools in the Southeast closed their doors because their states were “unequipped for dealing with the roadways.” Send them up here, we’ve got school when there’s a foot of snow. [National Law Journal] * A recent grad of a “good school” wanted to know how to get a job, so she asked an advice columnist. Here are five of the suggested jobs she probably already applied to and was rejected from. [Fortune] * The third time’s apparently the charm in Italy: Amanda Knox was convicted of murder, again. Foxy Knoxy must be pissed that her case has turned into an extradition question on an international law exam. [CNN]

By Staci Zaretsky