Mattel

Barbie, who has held over 200 careers -- including beekeeper, matador, Starfleet security officer, jillaroo, cat burglar, photojournalist, lawyer, judge, police officer, chief sustainability officer, and lute player -- has never been an accountant.

Shouldn’t the first consideration on appropriate hairstyles be safety? Or perhaps readiness?

* “The notion that some of us weren’t invited, selected or chosen to join Morgan Lewis is ridiculous.” Bingham McCutchen partners who aren’t moving to Morgan Lewis don’t want you to think they’re losers. [Am Law Daily]

* MGA is back in court to sue Mattel, and now it wants $1 billion after its $88 million verdict was nixed by the Ninth Circuit. Here’s hoping Quinn Emanuel will come to the rescue in a hot pink Barbiemobile. [National Law Journal]

* “We want an indictment. The cops don’t like it.” Missouri’s governor declared a state of emergency ahead of the grand jury’s decision on whether to indict the police officer who shot Michael Brown. Yikes. [Reuters]

* Not that it’s a wise choice, but you can still apply to law school with a low GPA. Almost nothing is “too low” these days. Most law schools want a pulse, that’s all. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* Everyone can find love, even mass murderers and cult leaders: Charles Manson applied for a marriage license so he could get hitched to a 26-year-old woman who’s visited him since she was 17. [E! Online]

* Dewey know the firms that have been tapped to represent the groups that this failed firm owes money to? Yes, we do! Brown Rudnick for the unsecured creditors’ committee, and Kasowitz Benson for the former D&L partners. [Am Law Daily (sub. req.)]

* The Ninth Circuit is supposed to be issuing an order today regarding an en banc reconsideration request on the Prop 8 case. They really ought to slap a big fat denial on that motherf’er and call it a day so we get some SCOTUS action. [Poliglot / Metro Weekly]

* Matthew Kluger, most recently of Fried Frank, has been sentenced to 12 years in prison, which is the longest sentence that anyone’s ever received in an insider trading case. Uh yeah, he’ll definitely be appealing. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]

* Hughes Hubbard & Reed has billed more than $17M in the first four months of its work on MF Global’s unwinding. Will the firm will be handing out spring “special” bonuses like they did last year? [Reuters]

* Mattel is appealing MGA’s $310M copyright award, claiming that the judgment was based on “erroneous billing invoices.” Don’t you call my billable hours into question, Kathleen Sullivan. [National Law Journal]

* Jerry Sandusky’s accusers will be named in court thanks to this judge’s ruling. But don’t worry — there’s no tweeting, texting, or emailing allowed in his courtroom. Like that’ll make a difference. [Legal Intelligencer]

* Trust me, I’m a lawyer: a disbarred Colorado attorney somehow managed to scam a convicted con artist out of more than $1 million. Now that’s some pretty sweet karmic intervention for you. [Missouri Lawyers Media]

* A bus driver is suing a hospital because he claims that instead of treating his painful erection, the staff watched a baseball game on TV. Whatever, that was a really great Yankees game. [Associated Press]

* And now another reason for lawyers to hate other lawyers (even more than they already do): Westlaw and LexisNexis are being sued for copyright infringement for selling access to publicly filed legal documents. [WSJ Law Blog]

* MGA Entertainment’s antitrust suit against Mattel has been dismissed. In celebration, attorneys from Quinn Emanuel will buy themselves hot pink convertibles while singing that “Barbie Girl” song. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Yesterday in the Golinski case, a federal judge ruled that the definition of marriage under DOMA is unconstitutional. Come on, even a Bush II appointee knows what’s up. [Poliglot / Metro Weekly]

* After finally realizing that he was a lawyer and not an agent — and that his most infamous client wasn’t worth as much as he thought — Jose Baez dropped Casey Anthony like a bad habit. [Miami Herald]

* Former University of Virginia lax player George W. Huguely V was found guilty of second degree murder in the death of Yeardley Love. UVA students are instructed to pop their collars at half-staff. [Bloomberg]

* LSAC might start auditing the LSAT scores and GPAs that law schools report to the ABA. Now, which agency is going to handle their too good to be true employment stats? [National Law Journal] * Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab’s lawyer asked a judge to ban the word “bomb” from his trial. The judge denied it, […]

I’m going to tell you the tale of two law firms. Firm A: You win a major, high-profile case. The victory is covered by the legal press and mainstream media. The award to your client is huge, and the victory comes at the expense of a rival firm. Your only problem? Your client won’t pay […]