Money Laundering

* Could it be? Could she really do such a thing? Rumor has it that Amal Clooney may be quitting her law firm job at Doughty Street Chambers to become a fashion designer for the likes of fashion house Oscar de la Renta. We may have more on this later today. [Inquisitr]

* Maryland’s AG intends to contest a ruling granting “Serial” podcast subject Adnan Syed a new trial, saying that the state would “defend what it believes is a valid conviction.” Syed has been servicing a life sentence for the murder of Hae Min Lee since 2000. [Baltimore Sun]

* Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert may be behind bars for a 15-month term for attempting to conceal secret payments to his underage sexual assault victims in a cover-up scheme, but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to fight a lawsuit seeking the full $3.5 million he allegedly said he would pay to buy a victim’s silence. [Chicago Tribune]

* Vermont Law School, which was hit relatively hard by the recession in terms of its ability to fill its seats, has applied for a $15 million loan from the federal government to help restructure its debts. Unlike what its students face in terms of their debt, the law school may be able to get a good interest rate upon approval. [VTDigger / Valley News]

* “[A]ttempting to fit the sale of Bitcoin into a statutory scheme regulating money services businesses is like fitting a square peg in a round hole.” Congratulations (or perhaps condolences?) digital currency aficionados, because a judge just ruled that Bitcoin isn’t money for the purposes of money-laundering statutes. [WSJ Law Blog]

* If Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump wins the election, he may be the first president-elect to be standing trial for fraud prior to taking the oath of office. Judge Gonzalo Curiel has tentatively refused to dismiss one of the two pending Trump University cases, saying plaintiffs had met requirements for the case to move forward for a jury to decide whether Trump “participated in a scheme to defraud” students. [San Diego Union-Tribune]

* After being served with a class-action suit alleging she rigged the Democratic primaries and the release of emails in the latest Guccifer hack showing her favoritism for Hillary Clinton over Bernie Sanders, Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz is resigning as the Democratic National Committee’s chair after this week’s convention. [CNN; Observer]

* Five senators, including Bob Menendez (D-NJ), Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), Ron Wyden (D-OR), Debbie Stabenow (D-MI), and Cory Booker (D-NJ), have introduced the Student Loan Tax Relief Act, which would exempt forgiven loans from being taxed as income. Law school grads on IBR, ICR, or PAYE should pray this bill is passed. [Forbes]

* In an announcement made before markets opened, Verizon said it would be purchasing Yahoo for $4.83B. It’s rumored that Faiza Saeed, Cravath’s incoming presiding partner — who was appointed to a committee to explore Yahoo’s sale — was the driving force behind the deal, which is expected to close in early 2017. [Reuters; Big Law Business]

* Law firms are apparently in a “weak spot” when it comes to the detection of money laundering operations. That may be how Shearman & Sterling got mixed up with an alleged Malaysian plot to siphon funds from its trust account to purchase luxury items in a scheme that’s turned into an attempted $1B DOJ asset forfeiture. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Happy Friday! Let’s start by giving props to the firms that announced pay raises yesterday: Morgan Lewis, Andrews Kurth, Ashurst, Crowell & Moring, Orrick, and Dechert. [Above the Law / 2016 Salary Increase]

* Speaking of the Great Pay Raise of 2016, law firm leaders want to reassure irate in-house counsel: don’t worry, you won’t see this (directly) reflected in your rates. [Big Law Business]

* Biglaw Game of Thrones: who are the leading contenders to succeed Jeffrey Stone and Peter Sacripanti as co-chairs of McDermott? [American Lawyer]

* The Second Circuit plays a sad song for record companies in a closely watched copyright case. [How Appealing]

* And in other copyright news, SCOTUS (sorta) clarifies the standards for awarding attorneys’ fees in copyright cases. [New York Times]

* Look for indictments to issue from the grand jury in the Dan Markel murder case. [News4Jax]

* Noam Scheiber of the Times takes a close look at struggling Valparaiso Law — and it’s not a pretty picture. (Expect more on this later.) [New York Times]

* Ex-prosecutor gone bad: a Cleveland criminal defense attorney just got convicted after agreeing to launder thousands of dollars for someone he thought was a cocaine dealer. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

* Yikes! Thanks to its expensive legal battle with Hulk Hogan — one that’s been revenge-financed by tech billionaire Peter Thiel to the tune of millions of dollars — Gawker Media is exploring a possible sale of the company and has hired Mark Patricof of Houlihan Lokey to provide financial advice. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Maybe Harvard Law grads are a like Carrie Bradshaw after all — except their degrees cost more than their shoes: In addressing Harvard’s 2016 grads at the Law School’s Class Day, Sarah Jessica Parker of Sex and the City admitted she had no idea why she was chosen as a speaker, and said she initially turned down the offer. [Harvard Crimson]

* Alan Koslow, formerly of Becker & Poliakoff, resigned yesterday after he was charged in a federal money-laundering conspiracy scheme. Koslow’s charge is the result of a three-and-a-half year undercover FBI sting. He faces a maximum of five years in prison and a $250,000 fine. We may have more on this later today. [Orlando Sun-Sentinel]

* “Oracle shouldn’t ‘own’ programmers simply because they had taken the time to learn Java.” Google escaped an almost $9 billion copyright lawsuit with the help of a jury that concluded the tech giant had made fair use of Oracle’s Java programming language in the creation of its Android operating system for its phone business. [Big Law Business]

* Closing the gender gap, one job at a time: The OnRamp Fellowship, a program that pairs female lawyers who want to return to practice with the nation’s top firms in the hope of receiving an offer at the end of their one-year stints, has now expanded to in-house legal departments. Congratulations on your excellent work. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Is Justice Ginsburg, our favorite judicial diva, foiling her own jurisprudential legacy by refusing to retire from the Supreme Court before another president takes office? [Daily Beast]

* Year-over-year, there’s been a double-digit drop in demand for legal services, so now is a great time to start speculating about which firm will be the next to conduct layoffs. [Am Law Daily]

* Don’t despair, the results of the Am Law Midlevel Survey are out, and associates are more satisfied than ever — except for the women. They’re “leaning out,” so to speak. [Am Law Daily]

* New York City (d/b/a Mayor Michael Bloomberg) wants Judge Shira Scheindlin to stay her stop-and-frisk rulings pending appeal, because racial profiling is an effective crime fighting tool. [New York Law Journal]

* If you want to know why law school is three years long instead of two, it’s because back in the day, the T14s of the world were convinced it’d “stop the proles from sullying the image of the bar.” [The Economist]

* In an effort to keep law school deans’ listserv drama and email scandals to a minimum, the American Bar Association just doled out some rules to keep their ivory tower talk in check. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* “[I]f I die because of this, my life will have been worthwhile.” The HSBC whistleblower is willing to face death to talk about big banks’ alleged money laundering — and to see Marni Halasa. [Huffington Post]

* Oh mon dieu! Cela ne semble pas bon! As confirmed by The Lawyer, Nixon Peabody will definitely be closing its four-year-old international outpost in Paris, France, leaving the firm with only two offices outside of the United States. Triste. 🙁 [Am Law Daily]

* “I just wanted somebody to pat me on the head.” Aww, all this former Winston & Strawn partner wanted was for someone to tell him he was a good boy, so he helped Kenneth Starr launder money. At least he didn’t get jail time. [New York Law Journal]

* Sorry, lady, but when you work in an HR capacity and you publish tripe about gays not being civil rights victims because they “choose” their lifestyle, the Sixth Circuit will just laugh at your appeal. [National Law Journal]

* At least one law school has gotten the point that tuition is too damn high. Starting next year, Seton Hall Law will allow qualifying first-year students to save about 50 percent on the cost of attendance. [Associated Press]

* What are some benefits of taking a gap year between the completion of your undergraduate degree and law school? Well, for one, you might reconsider your decision to enroll. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* Little known fact of the day: the late comedienne Phyllis Diller apparently had a storybook romance with Paul Hastings name partner, Robert Hastings. She once said that her longtime Biglaw beau was the “love of [her] life.” [Am Law Daily]

* The Federal Trade Commission has closed its antitrust review of Facebook’s proposed Instagram purchase, clearing the way for the social networking site’s users to post grainy pictures to their hearts’ content. [Bloomberg]

* A former Vancouver lawyer serving a 15-year sentence for money laundering claims that one of the Mounties who investigated his case played a game of “hide the Canadian bacon” with Judge Ursula Ungaro. [Province]

* A judge who resigned in April has been retroactively removed from office for admitting to having sexual contact with his five-year-old niece. He presided over family court matters. Figures. [New York Law Journal]

* Which accomplishments and activities should you leave off your résumé? A) law review editor in chief; B) second in the class; C) 4.05 GPA; D) nonprofit executive director; E) child porn aficionado. [Willamette Week]

* Stabbing your lawyer is so last season. Another criminal defendant reportedly attacked his defense attorney in court, but this time chose to whack his own counsel in the head with his handcuffed hand. [Boston Globe]

* Yesterday marked day two of jury deliberations without a verdict in the John Edwards campaign-finance violations trial. The former presidential candidate says he’s “doing OK,” but you know he’s secretly pissing his pants over going to prison. [ABC News]

* Martin Weisberg, a former Baker & McKenzie partner, pleaded guilty to money laundering and conspiracy to commit securities fraud. He faces up to 15 years for both crimes. Like he wasn’t earning enough as a Biglaw partner. [New York Law Journal]

* A judge told two fashion houses to leave it on the runway, and not in the courtroom, but that’s not going to stop Gucci from collecting its due. Guess owes the company $4.66M for trademark infringement. [Bloomberg]

* If you’re wondering what you’re going to have to do to get your student loans discharged in bankruptcy, it’s really quite simple. Get diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder, and you’ll be set. [National Law Journal]

* What’s the difference between looted art and art looted by the Nazis? The Hitler part. Proposed art legislation will ban all museum recovery claims, except those of families affected by the Holocaust. [New York Times]

* “”I can’t believe f**king Allred called you!” In a total attention whore battle royale, Okorie Okorocha has sued Gloria Allred for allegedly stealing both of his clients in the John Travolta gay sex scandal. [CNN]