* The Hamilton Ponzi scheme ends in a guilty plea. Well, he had his shot. [New York Law Journal]
* You know who is really worried about the Paul Manafort case? Every lawyer who acts as a lobbyist and thinks, "uh oh... this criminal complaint reads a lot like my billable hour diaries." [National Law Journal]
* Charleston School of Law didn't have a very good bar exam. [Post and Courier]
* Womble completes its merger with Bond Dickinson. [American Lawyer]
* NLRB General Counsel Richard Griffin's term has ended. So gear up for the new Lochner-era! [Law360]
* Game-changing litigation moves. Probably not game-changing... game-adjusting. [Litigation Daily]
* Baker Botts files SCOTUS brief reminding them what wedding cakes look like. Someday we'll look back on a case designed to create second class citizens and think, "oh right, that's the one where the Supreme Court decided with the help of a picture book." [National Law Journal]
* Pepe the Frog's creator is going nuclear with his intellectual property challenges against the Nazi scum who've turned his character into a mascot. [Engadget]
* Trader seeks to withdraw guilty plea after government shows him evidence that he probably didn't commit a crime. The more you ponder that sentence, the more troubling it is. [Law 360]
* There are more female equity partners than ever, which means still not very many. [Am Law Daily]
* BuzzFeed hires Roy Black in the defamation case over the Trump dossier. Specifically, this case is about the allegations in the dossier that Aleksej Gubarev hacked the Democrats, but that's no fun, so let's remember the dossier also talked about Russian pee parties. [Law.com]
* A review of the federal government's merits and amicus arguments this Term and it's an aggressive invitation to legislate from the bench. So much for railing against "activist judges"! [Empirical SCOTUS]
* Harvard University is hoping Trump's NLRB changes labor law so they can crush unionization efforts on campus. Damn liberal, socialist colleges. [Labor Notes]
* Here's one to make some of you feel very old: Toys R Us files for bankruptcy. [Huffington Post]
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* 50 Cent is suing Reed Smith for malpractice. As they say, "Get Rich Or Sue Your Lawyers." [Law.com]
* The federal government lags in cybersecurity because all the talent is going to the private sector. [New York Law Journal]
* Nothing says, "politics as usual" better than the South Dakota legislature declaring an "emergency" to overturn an ethics law. [Huffington Post]
* D.C. Circuit blocks state attorneys general from coming to the defense of the CFPB. [National Law Journal]
* Kellyanne scolds America for not remembering the Bowling Green massacre. Admittedly it's easy to forget, what with it never happening and all. [CNN]
* Trump plans to roll back the protections put in place after the financial crisis. Presumably next week he'll take action to eliminate airbags because, "hey my car isn't crashing right this second, why does anyone need these?" [Wall Street Journal]
* NFL TE turned Wiley Rein associate Colin Cloherty has a hard time picking who to root for in the Super Bowl. [The Am Law Daily]
* The NLRB's general counsel issued a memo recognizing college football players as employees, because they fit every conceivable definition of an employee. So obviously politicians -- of one party anyway -- are demanding his resignation. [Law360]
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* Good news if you've made it to midlevel associate -- survey says you're happier than ever. [American Lawyer]
* Amal Clooney lost a case in Egypt, her client was one of three Al-Jazeera journalists sentenced to prison for their coverage of the 2013 uprising. Clooney warned the sentence sends a "dangerous message." [People]
* More and more Pennsylvania firms are getting on-board with the $160k pay scale. [Legal Intelligencer]
* Chalk another victory up for the Amazing Schneiderman -- that's New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman. This time, retail giant Gap Inc. has fallen in line. [Fashionista]
* A happy ending for David Powers, whose admission to St. John's Law was revoked after officials there found out about a drug conviction. He's starting at Pace Law today. [New York Times]
* When a client announces a new general counsel, law firms should consider that a wake-up call -- or get fired. [Corporate Counsel]
* In truly horrific news, two Indian sisters were sentenced to be gang raped as punishment for their brother eloping with a woman of a different caste. The (hopefully) good news is the women have appealed to the Indian Supreme Court for protection. [Jezebel]
* What do in-house counsel need to know about the recent NLRB decision expanding the concept of joint-employers? [Law360]
* A look back at the impact Justice Scalia's signature snarky style has had on the high court. [Jost on Justice]
* Decry "big government" all you want, but this is a great use of its power: one Wal-Mart declared a public nuisance. [Law and More]
* A horse! A horse! My law license for a horse! One attorney faces sanctions for his love of racing horses. [Legal Profession Blog]
* The NLRB might have dashed Northwestern's football players' unionization hopes, but they still won a lot of concessions. [Fox Sports]
* More than 50 days after the landmark Obergefell case, there are still pockets of the country where same-sex couples can't get married. [BuzzFeed]
* What can the RNC offer Donald Trump to GTFO of the Republican primary? [Funny or Die]
* It’s Alito time, bitch! If you were wondering about any of the cases in which the justice recused himself last year, his latest financial disclosure report is quite telling. [Blog of Legal Times]
* Yet another appellate court has ruled that Obama’s recess appointments to the NLRB were unconstitutional. Alright, we get it, just wait for the Supreme Court to rule. [TPM LiveWire]
* Hey baby, nice package: With stock awards soaring, general counsel at some of the world’s largest companies had a great year in 2012 in terms of compensation. [Corporate Counsel]
* NYU Law professors want Martin Lipton of Wachtell Lipton to swallow a poison pill and step down from the school’s board of trustees over his ties to the University’s unpopular president. [Am Law Daily]
* Now that they’ve stopped acting like the doll they were arguing about in court, MGA has put aside its differences with Orrick to amicably settle a fee dispute in the Bratz case. [National Law Journal]
* Who needs to go on a post-bar vacation when you can take a vacation while you’re studying for the bar? This is apparently a trend right now among recent law school graduates. Lucky! [New York Times]
* A man puts assets into his pin-up wife’s name on advice of counsel, she files for divorce, and the firm allegedly takes her as a client. This obviously happened in Florida. [Daily Business Review (sub. req.)]
* David Schubert, the deputy DA who prosecuted Paris Hilton and Bruno Mars, RIP. [Las Vegas Sun]
* Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano is leaving the cabinet to head the University of California system. That’s a natural transition because UC already treats its students like threats to national security. [The Faculty Lounge]
* Texas banning tampons from the Texas Capitol building in advance of abortion vote. Guns are still fine though. In the words of the inimitable Spencer Hall, “But what about a gun that FIRES tampons, Texas?” [Huffington Post]
* A lot of folks are anticipating Noel Canning, but if Harry Reid invokes the so-called “nuclear option” (fifth item), does that render the whole case moot? [The Volokh Conspiracy]
* Three years for stealing an iPhone from a child. I guess it’s like taking Candy (Crush) from a baby. [Law and More]
* If you stop to think about it, someone should totally have sued the camp from The Parent Trap (affiliate link). If for no other reason than the likelihood Lohan was dealing to all the other campers. [Crushable]
* An iOS app for creating semi-bespoke contracts. That’s cool, but I’ll stick to Temple Run, thanks. [Associate's Mind]
Ed. note: Above the Law will not be publishing on Monday, May 27, in observance of the Memorial Day holiday.
* Manhattan Justice Paul Wooten has ordered CBS to produce all emails between it and the Brooklyn DA’s office concerning “Brooklyn D.A.” and ordered a hearing this afternoon. CBS attorneys are irritated. Now they know how everyone feels when they have to watch Two and a Half Men. [WiseLaw NY]
* Lois Lerner, the embattled IRS supervisor at the heart of the recent scandal, invoked the Fifth Amendment in her congressional hearing, but in a way that may open the door to contempt. Ironically, maintaining innocence while invoking the Fifth opens one up to “heightened scrutiny.” As noted in Morning Docket, she’s been put on administrative leave. [Simple Justice]
* T.J. Duane of Lateral Link was named one of the 17 Stanford business students who is going to change the world. Duane is working on technology to “provid[e] solo and boutique attorneys the benefits without the drawbacks of big law.” That’s much better than my proposal to provide solo and boutique attorneys the drawbacks without the benefits of big law, which is just a device that passive-aggressively second-guesses every decision a lawyer makes. [Business Insider]
* The U.S. Chamber of Commerce has asked the Supreme Court to uphold the D.C. Circuit’s decision holding Obama’s NLRB recess appointments unconstitutional because the appointments caused “major confusion for both employers and employees alike.” They’ve got a point. Not having a quorum on the NLRB because the Senate refuses to confirm anyone and plays parliamentary games does provide certainty… the certainty that the NLRB cannot function and its a free-for-all against workers. [Free Enterprise]
* Law school applications are down, but not as drastically as expected. [Faculty Lounge]
* In any event, law schools are facing an economic reckoning dubbed “Peak Law School.” [Lawyers, Guns & Money]
* A new CBO report analyzes the impact of a carbon tax, in case you’re preparing to start papering cap-and-trade deals. [Breaking Energy]
* Do potential clients really care about social media? I “Like” this story. [Associate's Mind]
* Courtesy of the ABA Journal, you can check out the swag Chief Justice Roberts and Eric Holder got from foreign nations in 2010 after the jump…
* The National Labor Relations Board, now with fewer recess appointments! Partners from Arent Fox and Morgan Lewis were nominated to fill seats necessary for the board’s quorum. [National Law Journal]
* Shearman & Sterling seems to be bucking the Biglaw system. The firm is cutting pay for high earners and increasing it for lower-ranking attorneys. We’ll probably have more on this later today. [Reuters]
* Dentons (formerly known as SNR Denton) recently poached a six-partner team led by Stephen Hill from Husch Blackwell to bolster its white collar practice. Welkom too teh furm, guise! [Am Law Daily]
* “It is technically more legal to screw a walrus than to get gay married.” You know you live in a very sad place when not only do article headlines like this exist, but they’re also CORRECT. [Death and Taxes]
* An American Eagle pilot is facing attempted drunk flying charges. Yes, that’s a thing, but come on now, anyone who’s seen the movie Flight knows you can fly a plane while you’re wasted. [Bloomberg]
* Lindsay Lohan blew off a deposition in Los Angeles yesterday. Cut the girl some slack; she had to appear on the Late Show with David Letterman, which was way more important. [Contra Costa Times]
