Partner Issues

Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 04.14.16

* A statistical look at this Supreme Court Term tells us what we already suspected: Paul Clement and Jones Day are all over this biyatch. [Empirical SCOTUS] * What if you ran across a law firm partner who was a jerk? What if the sun rose in the East? [Am Law Daily] * PROOF THAT TRUMP'S A TROJAN HORSE!!! HIS LAWYER'S A DEMOCRAT!!! That may or may not be what they're writing over at Drudge. But maybe it's just that any New Yorker not registered as a Democrat basically forfeits their right to vote on any office of import. [The Hill] * Wanna hear something stupid? A dumb but ultimately harmless internet attack has landed a guy a two-year prison sentence. I mean, there's no crime in that -- like molesting a dead horse, it's your right as an American. [Slate] * Should law schools be forcing students to take on certain kinds of pro bono work... and, for that matter, should faculty be held to the same standards? I don't know why we'd start holding faculty and students to the same standards now. [TaxProf Blog] * Have law schools become the "Reverse Robin Hood"? [Chronicle of Higher Education] * State legislator with oxygen tank not allowed to sit in his assigned seat. He could have been accommodated with an aisle seat, but "those are usually reserved for House committee chairs and senior leaders." Well, that sounds more important than treating a guy with basic human respect. [WTOP]

By Joe Patrice
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 04.14.16

* "You're not getting out of jail today." Affluenza teen Ethan Couch has been sentenced as an affluenza adult to serve four consecutive 180-day terms for each person who was killed in a fatal drunken-driving car crash he caused in 2013. The judge may reconsider Couch's sentence in two weeks. [NBC News] * Who will be the next chair of Baker & McKenzie? Four prominent partners have put their names forward to compete for the title. This would be much more entertaining if it were a Biglaw ladder match where we could watch Paul Rawlinson, Gary Senior, Claudia Prado, and Eric Lasry fight for the shiniest brass ring of them all. [Big Law Business] * If only law schools had more clinical opportunities for future corporate drones: Law schools have offered students more chances to perform public interest work, but this law professor worries schools are "inculcat[ing] law students with a responsibility of social justice that reflects the morality of the faculty and administration." [WSJ Law Blog] * "It doesn't cry out as a triable case." Andrew Caspersen, the high-flying Harvard Law grad charged with a $95 million fraud scheme, likely won't face trial. His lawyer says that he thinks his client's criminal case will be resolved within the next 60 days. He thinks the case will end in a settlement with the SEC. [DealBook / New York Times] * Sources say that Donald Trump's campaign manager Corey Lewandowski will not be prosecuted for battery after an incident with former Breitbart reporter Michelle Fields following a press conference in March. Apparently the Palm Beach County State Attorney's Office has a "higher standard to go forward with a prosecution." [POLITICO]

Staci Zaretsky is an editor at Above the Law. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments. Follow her on Twitter or connect with her on LinkedIn.

By Staci Zaretsky
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 04.04.16

* "Say you'll remember me, standing in a black robe, waiting for a hearing, babe. Begging the SJC, say you will confirm me, even if it's just in my wildest dreams, ah-ha ohh." SCOTUS nominee Judge Merrick Garland has something in common with an overwhelming number of teenage girls: he loves Taylor Swift sing-alongs. That's cute! [People] * "A judge does not check his First Amendment rights at the courthouse door." Judge Olu Stevens has filed suit against the Kentucky Judicial Conduct Commission on free-speech grounds in an attempt to stave off an ethics sanction for publicly commenting on Facebook about all-white juries and their "disproportionate and disparate impact on black defendants." [Courier-Journal] * Hardly any partners leave Cravath, but a very important one just did, and his exit is making people talk. Scott Barshay, once a top M&A partner at the firm that tends to set the associate bonus scale, has defected to Paul Weiss, where he'll become its global head of M&A. Which clients will he take to the "dream team"? [DealBook / New York Times] * This plaintiff's antitrust allegations against Uber's CEO may be "wildly implausible" and representative of an "impossibly unwieldy conspiracy," but in Judge Jed Rakoff's eyes, they were enough to overcome a motion to dismiss that was filed by Boies Schiller. Something tells us Uber's legal bills are going to see some surge-pricing. [WSJ Law Blog] * Per a study by Ravel Law, in a new index that tracks federal judges by their rulings and subsequent citations to those rulings, Michigan produces the most influential judges on the federal bench, followed by Chicago, Harvard, and Yale. Harvard has finally gotten one over on Yale -- but for a measly bronze trophy. [Crain's Detroit Business] * According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the legal sector gained 1,200 jobs in March. On top of that positive news, February's numbers were revised from a loss of 1,500 jobs to a gain of 100 jobs. In any case, what with the huge discrepancy, we're happy to see Dewey's bookkeepers found new work. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

By Staci Zaretsky
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 03.18.16

* "In 2 to 4 years, a University administration will shut down a top law school and we may never see it coming." Uh-oh! Is a top law school really going to close? This law professor seems to think so, and she's pointing the finger at Minnesota Law, which has been experiencing a slew of financial troubles due to its enrollment issues. [Forbes] * "The employment numbers were very high in a huge economic downturn and it just felt suspicious. I decided to stand up for myself and others." Anna Alaburda, who sued Thomas Jefferson School of Law over its allegedly deceptive job statistics, took the stand this week, where she spoke about her failed legal career. [Courthouse News Service] * “The record number of deals in 2015 is a reflection of the intense competition among law firms for new work, and we expect the market to remain hot in 2016.” Oh boy! If you think 2015 set a merger record, you ain't seen nothing yet. We should apparently be expecting even more law firm merger mania this year. [Chicago Daily Law Bulletin] * Why on earth would a partner leave a firm like Munger Tolles, with profits per partner of $1.9 million, to go to a firm like Dentons, with profits per partner of $680,000, a considerably lesser amount? What's in that Biglaw behemoth's special sauce that's so amazing? It's the "irresistible" opportunities. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA] * As many of our readers have had the displeasure of experiencing firsthand, law school tuition can be absurdly expensive. If you're wondering which school took home the prize of being the most expensive for the 2015-2016 school year, it's Columbia Law, with a shocking sticker price of $62,700. Ouch, that's painful. [U.S. News & World Report]

By Staci Zaretsky