Prisons

Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 09.22.15

* In case you missed it, on top of her perjury and obstruction charges, Pennsylvania AG Kathleen Kane's license to practice law was suspended. As a law professor attempting to make a sick burn noted, “She may be at this point our paralegal general." [WSJ Law Blog] * Tracy Morgan made an appearance at The Emmys on Sunday night that earned him a standing ovation, but David Jay Glassman, the attorney representing the Walmart truck driver who hit the comedian's car last summer, wasn't applauding. Hmm, perhaps his wife suddenly got pregnant? [The Wrap via Yahoo!] * If the former leaders of failed firm D&L are convicted this week, we seriously hope that they're not so disillusioned as to believe they'll be shipped to a "Club Fed" facility. How long Dewey think these Biglaw alums will last at a place like Rikers? [Am Law Daily] * New Biglaw associates at some firms are being treated to a second college experience filled with orientation programs, resident advisers, summer reading, and even parties. (At least they get to drink champagne, not Franzia.) [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA] * The president of UMass says its law school will be fully accredited by the American Bar Association within one year's time. Given that everyone gets a turn when it comes to ABA accreditation, this is one low-expectation-having educator. [Boston Business Journal]

By Staci Zaretsky
Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 08.12.15

* A new paper by Professors Josh Blackman and Howard Wasserman on the process of marriage equality. For those of you who get really excited over civil procedure. [SSRN] * Fresh off the threat of Supreme Court sanctions, partner Howard Shipley, formerly of Foley & Lardner, has landed at Gordon & Rees. Good fit... there's no way he'll embarrass that firm. [Gordon & Rees] * We had some fun at the expense of a very predictable Norwegian prison escape the other day, but it's worth recognizing an outlier for what it is -- here's a detailed look at Norway's usually successful prison system. [New York Times] * With public defenders like these... An interpreter employed by the public defenders' office scammed immigrants seeking bribes with promises to pull strings to avoid deportation. [Times-Picayune] * Is "Office Temperature-Gate" worthy of a Title VII claim? [Adjunct Law Prof Blog] * A guy sat in prison for over 3 months after he completed his sentence because the system is as awful as it is incompetent. [Mother Jones] * If you're looking for CLE and have tickets to New York Comic Con on Thursday, October 8, then here's the panel for you. [NY Comic Con] * Most employers in New York City can no longer check credit history in making employment decisions. Time to hit up Saks for that shopping spree. [DLA Piper]

By Joe Patrice
Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 08.07.15

* Chris Christie argued passionately about national security with Rand Paul, noting that he was appointed a U.S. Attorney the very day before 9/11. Except, you know, he wasn't and is completely lying. [Empty Wheel] * The Simpson Thacher and Mayer Brown epic screw-ups: where are the individual lawyers now? [The Am Law Daily] * Choose the right firm for you... with the help of these Legos. [The Careerist / The American Lawyer] * A bipartisan bill hopes to replace loan default rates with a repayment metric. [Insider Higher Ed] * The most predictable prison escape ever. [Lowering the Bar] * John McAfee's new security update includes a handgun -- which he was arrested for carrying while high on Xanax after a "shootout" with police. He explains the whole thing on Facebook. [Gawker] * Liberty Law has a new dean. [News & Advance] * Pretty sure Key & Peele read the Elonis decision. [Key & Peele / Comedy Central] [iframe src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:arc:video:comedycentral.com:31920221-2ca8-4b07-835a-513ba2cffee4" width="640" height="360”]

By Joe Patrice
Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 06.29.15

* Senator Ted Cruz describes his experience clerking for Chief Justice Rehnquist. We also learn what Justice Sandra Day O'Connor says about Internet porn. It's not as exciting as Cruz would want you to think. Personally, I'd hoped she'd say something about "Long Dong Silver," but alas. [POLITICO] * If you thought Justice Scalia was interminably grumpy before, today he exhibited some downright bizarre behavior. [Slate] * Lawyer disciplined for stealing wine. Lots and lots of wine. [Legal Profession Blog] * Has marriage equality rendered Chief Justice Roberts a footnote to history? [Reuters] * An in-depth look at New York's Riker's Island facility from the perspective of those who live and work there. And let's not undersell the word "live," since we have kids living there for 7 years awaiting trial. [New York Magazine] * Shearman & Sterling’s Doreen Lilienfeld discusses building gender balance in Biglaw. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA] * A thorough guide to Bitcoin for judges. But more importantly, a solidly academic title, "Realm of the Coin." I see what you did there. [Fordham Journal of Corporate and Financial Law via SSRN] * Congratulations to former Bloomberg media attorney Charles Glasser, who will be teaching a course about investigative reporting at NYU's Institute for Journalism. Too bad there aren't really investigative journalism jobs anymore. Perhaps these are the kinds of classes that can bring those jobs back. [Talking Biz News] * The regret of every young person must be that they will never be able to duplicate this experience. [What About Clients?]

By Joe Patrice
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 06.22.15

* Everyone's a winner at Nixon Peabody, especially the millennials! The firm is doing away with the corner-office model in favor of office space reminiscent of that of tech companies, where everyone's offices -- from paralegals to partners -- are the same size. [Washington Post] * A former North Dakota Law student is suing the school, as well as several administrators and professors, because he alleges they dismissed him via email in May due to problems with his application. Man, that's almost as harsh as a break-up text. [WDAZ] * Justice Kennedy knows a lot of people who are gay, but that doesn't mean he'll recognize a constitutional right to same-sex marriage just because of his circle of friends and colleagues. He'll likely do it because he knows "how meaningful this is." [New York Times] * The Supreme Court is currently considering an emergency appeal out of Texas after the Fifth Circuit refused to stay a decision that would all but close the vast majority of abortion facilities in the state. Give this law the good old coat hanger, SCOTUS. [Associated Press] * Last week, Justice Kennedy basically invited litigants to challenge the constitutionality of solitary confinement because it "exacts a terrible price." Step right up and become one of the first to test the power of the SCOTUS swing vote on this issue. [Los Angeles Times] * "Having a woman leader is no longer exceptional." The number of women law school deans is on the rise. They make up 40 percent of incoming law school leadership, and currently comprise 30 percent of all law deans. Nice work! [National Law Journal] * After pleading guilty to a felony count of vehicular manslaughter back in March, California lawyer Hasti Fakhrai-Bayrooti was recently sentenced to four years in prison for killing a cyclist while driving high on prescription drugs Xanax and Suboxone. [Daily Mail]

By Staci Zaretsky
Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 06.11.15

* More whining about President Obama opining on Supreme Court cases while the justices "deliberate" -- as though anyone's opinion is up in the air. Apparently presidents have rarely done this. Fun fact: cynical lawyers have rarely gotten to the Supreme Court to attack a president's landmark legislation on a tortured textual reading, but here we are. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post] * It's like the Hangover. Except in prison. With more drugs. [Legal Juice] * Hey, remember when Jeb Bush got behind a law that required rape victims to publish their sexual histories in the newspaper until the law was shot down by the courts two years later? Good times. [Salon] * The Right proclaims Jeb Bush really doesn't believe in publicly shaming women for having sex. Hm. See item 3 supra. [Legal Insurrection] * Wow. The Senate actually passed something. It's a resolution hailing the 13th, 14th, and 15th Amendments. Is it a sign of my cynicism that I'm shocked even that got approved? [Constitutional Accountability Center] * Why the rationale of Roe doesn't really matter. [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * Fourth Circuit panel snipes at each other over whether to call out overzealous prosecutors. It got so bad they actually sealed the opinion. [Maryland Appellate Blog] * Derek Khanna has a new report on patent reform written with Lincoln Labs. The fundamental premise: patents are not encouraging innovation any more. [Lincoln Labs] * Watchdog is reporting that Kroll Associates conveniently overlooked dozens of terrible LSAT scores in its report on University of Texas admission standards. It bears repeating: just how dumb must Abigail Fisher be to not get into this school? [Watchdog] * A short memoir about suing The Grateful Dead. [The Faculty Lounge]

By Joe Patrice
Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 05.22.15

Ed. note: Above the Law will not be publishing on Monday, May 25, in observance of the Memorial Day holiday. * The settlement deal between Target and Mastercard over the 2013 data breach is dead after failing to garner the requisite issuer support. Proposed settlement: $19 million. Years of protracted litigation: Priceless. [Credit Union Times] * High school teacher who admitted she and another teacher had a threesome with a 16-year-old student got off -- well, legally -- with a slap on the wrist. Folks are starting to wonder if her dad being a sitting district judge had anything to do with that. [Times-Picayune] * On a similar note, Mama June of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo... fame? Is she famous? Whatever. The point is Mama June is toying with suing the TLC Network because they canceled her show over a child molester, but haven't nuked 19 Kids and Counting in the wake of its brewing molestation scandal. When you consider these hit shows starring inbred hillbillies with molestation issues, remember that TLC stands for "The Learning Channel." [TMZ] * Lawmakers pushing back against Governor Cuomo's proposal to appoint an independent monitor to investigate police-related civilian killings. One skeptical State Senator proclaims, "What I do know is that it treats police officers different than other citizens." Yes, because right now the police get the same kid gloves grand jury presentations the rest of us do. [Capital New York] * Texas prosecuted 115,782 truancies in a year, levying hefty fines and doling out jail time to kids as young as 12. Well hello there prison-industrial complex! [Al Jazeera America] * Are the Yankees and A-Rod gearing up for arbitration... or settlement? I don't know, why wouldn't you want to put a warm, likeable guy like him in front of a panel? [Concurring Opinions] * Judges must be the loneliest people on social media... [The Daily Record] * Merely complaining to your boss is enough to trigger anti-retaliation provisions according to the Second Circuit. So feel free to call up that partner you hate... [JD Supra]

By Joe Patrice