R. Kelly

Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 02.25.19

* Some think Justice Clarence Thomas may be dropping hints that he's about to retire (e.g., this little First Amendment gem), but those who know him well think he's getting ready for a conservative revolution, and he's got an army of former clerks to back him up. [CNN] * It’s Mueller time! Special counsel Robert Mueller’s sentencing memo for Paul Manafort is 800 pages long and makes the president’s former campaign chairman out to be a "hardened" and "bold" criminal who “repeatedly and brazenly” broke the law and “presents a grave risk of recidivism.” [New York Times] * A federal judge has ruled that the all-male military draft that requires men to register with the Selective Service System is unconstitutional, as "the time has passed" for debate on women's roles in the armed services. [USA Today] * Paul Manafort's get out of jail free card might not save him from more charges. New York prosecutors are ready to file a case against Donald Trump's ex-campaign chairman if he's pardoned by the president for all of his other crimes. [Bloomberg] * Benjamin Rauf, the Temple Law School graduate accused of killing one of his classmates in a drug deal gone bad, has pleaded guilty to manslaughter and a weapons charge and been sentenced to 15 years behind bars. [Delaware News Journal] * Thanks to ATL's 2018 Lawyer of the Year Michael Avenatti, R. Kelly was indicted and arrested on 10 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse. His bond was set at an "exceedingly reasonable" $1 million, but he's already spent some time in jail because he couldn't come up with the $100,000 bail needed to leave. [Chicago Tribune] * In case you missed it, Brooklyn Law School graduate Shawn Sinclair was kicked out of the running to become DJ Pauly D's girlfriend on MTV's "Game of Clones" because she's more "dinner, couch, sweatpants" than "gym, tan, laundry." [MTV]

By Staci Zaretsky
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 02.21.19

* Accountants are the new bakers when it comes to discriminating against gay people. I guess this means tax prep is more a matter of artistic interpretation, which in fairness explains Amazon's tax bill last year. [Fox News] * Tesla GC self-driven back to Williams & Connolly after two months. [National Law Journal] * "Lawyer likens R. Kelly to Beethoven to explain studio move." Who can forget that "immortal beloved" letter about urolagnia? [Star Tribune] * A good look at the renewed effort to undermine the litigation finance business for doing the unconscionable and allowing regular folks to afford to bring meritorious claims against big companies. [CDR Magazine] * A call for law schools to be accredited based on post-graduation job prospects. It seems like a certain website's been calling for that for years now... [Law.com] * Strip club copyright suits are the lucrative niche practice no one knows about. [Law360] * Rosen likely to succeed Rosenstein. [Courthouse News Service] * Direct call for quotas to improve Biglaw diversity -- for women anyway. [Legal Cheek]

By Joe Patrice
Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 07.31.17

* So... who is in charge of Homeland Security now? Asking for all the immigration lawyers who need to fill out the "named defendants" section of their filings. [Politico] * The Gawker effect is real. Maybe Buzzfeed will save us? [Washington Post] * Florida law will allow parents to object to the content of their children's textbooks. I would be in favor of this law if it also required Florida residents to READ children's textbooks before they object. [Law Street News] * We're now at the point where people are reporting on seating arrangements at cabinet meetings. Trump makes us pathetic. [Newsmax] * Here's some stuff about trash human, Pete Rose. [The Score] * Here's some stuff about trash human, Joe Arpaio. [AZ Central]

By Elie Mystal
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 07.25.17

* Now Ivanka Trump's hired Abbe Lowell. Hey, at least she doesn't think she has any potentially adverse interests to her husband. Yet. [National Law Journal] * Elon Musk may be looking for in-house counsel for the burrowing company he claims has a government deal to start building underground highways and super trains. First step for this new attorney? Explaining that, no, he does not have a government contract to start building underground highways and super trains. [Law.com] * NFL cheerleaders can't pursue antitrust action against entity that's already lost an antitrust action. Remember that? When Donald Trump bankrupted a football league because he's comically incompetent? [Courthouse News Service] * Wells Fargo inadvertently released a bunch of client data and they want it back. One presumes these are real Wells Fargo clients and not the millions of fake ones. [Law360] * ABA warns against weakening Medicaid. I'm sure that's going to do the trick with this crew. [ABA Journal] * Has R. Kelly hired Bill Cosby's attorney? [Complex] * An argument for Jeff Sessions keeping his job. [Litigation Daily]

By Joe Patrice
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 07.18.17

* R. Kelly's lawyer responds to allegations that a bunch of women are trapped in the proverbial closet. [Entertainment Tonight] * The big news of the night was the slow, painful, uncovered death of the GOP tax cut. McConnell now says he'll push for a clean repeal of Obamacare and leave the "replace" part for later, which would theoretically take it out of the reconciliation process. And that means 60 votes or some drastic changes. This is either a bluff or a lot of people are about to learn more than they ever wanted to know about parliamentary rules. [ABC News] * Need judicial approval to tour the country? Sing it with me now... "Jed Gon' Give It To Ya."[Law360] * Justice Kagan with an amusing anecdote about being vetted by the Obama administration. [National Law Journal] * Plaintiffs' attorneys in the Trump University case say efforts to undo the settlement over notice concerns, "effectively ask this court to declare Rule 23 unconstitutional." Dude, I hate to break this to you, but that's what the Supreme Court's been saying for at least 10 years. * Disney is locked in an IP litigation over the technology they use to map actors' expressions onto CGI characters in movies like in Avengers: Age of Ultron, where they made a merciless robot fixated on world domination appear to have a soul. Sorry, did I say Avengers? I meant "a Bob Iger presentation at a Disney shareholder meeting." [Law.com] * Because all other problems in the country are settled, Congress is looking into overturning Washington D.C.'s assisted suicide law. [USA Today] * Charlie Hustle is suing Trump lawyer John Dowd formerly of Akin Gump for defamation. [Philadelphia Inquirer] * Google successfully staves off Labor Department request for compensation information in ongoing discrimination probe. God, Assistant can't give you any useful information. [Corporate Counsel]

By Joe Patrice
Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 07.17.17

* Hmm... I wonder if the officer who shot and killed the unarmed white lady is going to be in a little more legal trouble than any of the officers who shoot and kill unarmed black people? [Minneapolis Star-Tribune] * John McCain's excellent health care is temporarily delaying his ability to take health care away from millions. May he have the same recovery that people kicked off of Medicaid can expect. [VICE] * If you told me that R. Kelly has a Midwestern sex cult where he holds women against their will, I'd believe you. In fact, the only shocking thing to me about that statement is the modifier "Midwestern." [Buzzfeed] * James Comey is writing a book. I assume the working title is "How To Lose Friends And Alienate People." [Slate] * "Ezekiel Elliott can tote the rock tho." -- Cowboys fans who have nothing else of value in their lives. [Deadspin] * Is the decentralization of our elections a strength, or a weakness? It's weird, if you were only worried about a nincompoop like Donald Trump and his band of family idiots fixing the election, it's comforting to know that our system is too complicated for them to understand. But if you are worried about a capable global villain like Vladimir Putin, suddenly I don't feel so good. [Brennan Center for Justice] * Where does he get such wonderful toys? https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/887035702977933312

Elie Mystal is an editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at [email protected]. He will resist.

By Elie Mystal