Robert Bork

Borking is a thing. Look it up. Senator McConnell did, and he even read the dictionary definition to the Senate.

Know this one?

A columnist argues that Robert Bork wouldn't have changed history. If this sounds crazy, that's because it is.

* Oh, the Onion… what would I do without you? Their take on gay marriage is masterful, as always. [Onion]

* Conservatives, troubled with the Supreme Court’s decision in Obergefell v. Hodges, vow to move to Canada. There’s only one teeny, tiny problem with their plan… about a decade in the making. [BuzzFeed]

* Of all the arrogant, jiggery-pokery, pure applesauce, Putsch! Find out exactly how Justice Scalia would mock you in this fun insult generator. [Slate]

* Some Alabama counties have come up with a crackerjack way to avoid marrying same sex couples. [Vox]

* The only way to get to today’s historical gay marriage case was to defeat the nomination of Judge Robert Bork, and Reagan aides always suspected this would happen. [Roll Call]

* For marriage equality fans with a sweet tooth. [Ben & Jerry’s]

* Surely you jest! Justice Scalia? Intellectually inconsistent to fit a political agenda? Pshaw. [BloombergView]

* A handy guide to today’s landmark SCOTUS decision. [Legal IO]

* News you can use: what is the legal status of cursing at cops? [The Marshall Project]

* John Kerry has been nominated to be the next Secretary of State. I expect a tough confirmation battle where Republicans openly question his courage and integrity under fire… oh, wait, I’m being told that Republicans were actually just lying to all of us in 2004 by slandering a war hero for political gain. [Yahoo! News] * The best thing about the NRA’s bizarre press conference was that I got to go on the Huffington Post and use the Konami code in a point. [HuffPost Live] * Of course, if people could get high, there would be less gun violence. [The Volokh Conspiracy] * And by the way, nobody plays Bulletstorm, Mortal Kombat and Slaughterhouse are decades old, and nobody has even heard of Kindergarten Killer, but it apparently involves a janitor who takes out a school. Grand Theft Auto is some good stuff though. It’s so good, I’m going to go out and jack some cars, drive into a police cruiser, and then hide out until I lose my wanted level. [Kotaku] * Richard Epstein on Robert Bork. [Ricochet via How Appealing] * You know what’s sad? The Mayan calendar was a scientific masterstroke that was turned into a punchline largely by people who are resistant to science. If you’re looking for real end of the world scenarios, the truth is out there. [Science Blogs]

* Seven out of nine sitting Supreme Court justices were silent when it came to the passing of Robert Bork. Justice Antonin Scalia, of course, issued a public statement, as did liberal Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (surprise!). [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* No one ever really doubted that it would take an army of Biglaw lawyers from the likes of Sullivan & Cromwell, Shearman & Sterling, and Wachtel Lipton to handle a monumental deal like the proposed $8.2 billion NYSE/ICE merger. [Am Law Daily]

* Can you coach with Nick Saban and be a Miller Canfield partner at the same time? No. But you can sue (and win!) when the firm allegedly forces you out due to its “culture of fear and intimidation.” [Detroit Free Press]

* Justice Rolando Acosta, who wrote the opinion upholding the dismissal of the class action case against NYLS, rates well among his peers as a nominee for the New York Court of Appeals. [New York Law Journal]

* Peter Madoff was sentenced to ten years in prison for his role in Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme, but the judge will probably let him go to his granddaughter’s bat mitzvah before shipping him to the pokey. [Bloomberg]

* Merry Christmas, now go f**k yourself. A federal judge has given a woman in Louisiana free rein to display holiday lights on her roof in the form of an extended middle finger. God bless America. [CBS 3 Springfield]

Robert Bork won, the Supreme Court lost...

* Oh mon dieu! Cela ne semble pas bon! As confirmed by The Lawyer, Nixon Peabody will definitely be closing its four-year-old international outpost in Paris, France, leaving the firm with only two offices outside of the United States. Triste. 🙁 [Am Law Daily]

* “I just wanted somebody to pat me on the head.” Aww, all this former Winston & Strawn partner wanted was for someone to tell him he was a good boy, so he helped Kenneth Starr launder money. At least he didn’t get jail time. [New York Law Journal]

* Sorry, lady, but when you work in an HR capacity and you publish tripe about gays not being civil rights victims because they “choose” their lifestyle, the Sixth Circuit will just laugh at your appeal. [National Law Journal]

* At least one law school has gotten the point that tuition is too damn high. Starting next year, Seton Hall Law will allow qualifying first-year students to save about 50 percent on the cost of attendance. [Associated Press]

* What are some benefits of taking a gap year between the completion of your undergraduate degree and law school? Well, for one, you might reconsider your decision to enroll. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* Google asked Gregory Sidak and Judge Robert Bork to write a report on its antitrust investigations. [Criterion Economics] * Megaupload founder Kim Dotcom just caught a tough break, courtesy of the government of… Gabon? [Threat Level / Wired] * Marco Delgado, lawyer and former trustee of Carnegie Mellon University, is accused of laundering half a billion dollars for a Mexican drug cartel. [Post-Gazette] * I’m very, very uninterested in getting tangled in racial debates after the election. But this stuff is messed up and scary. [Gawker] * And this too. Ick. [Jezebel] * Next time you plan a robbery, maybe plan on taking a nap before you reach the front door of your score. [Legal Juice]

President Obama remembers Arlen Specter...

Some lawyers can be so circumspect in speech and so careful in action that they’re just plain boring. Such caution might help you make it to the Supreme Court someday, but it’s not a recipe for a very fun life. Thankfully, not all brilliant lawyers are afraid of speaking their minds. Take Robert Bork, the […]

Last week, inspired by the pending Supreme Court nomination of Elena Kagan, we embarked upon a fun little imaginative exercise: What if Supreme Court nominees didn’t have to defend themselves to the American public? What if the U.S. Senate’s constitutional privilege of “advice and consent” was revoked? What would the Court look like if the […]

Who says that conservative judicial icon Robert Bork, of the famously ill-fated Supreme Court nomination, is anti-plaintiff? Judge Bork is all in favor of punitive damages — when, for example, he’s demanding them in his Complaint (PDF). The distinguished law professor and former judge has filed a slip-and-fall lawsuit against the Yale Club of New […]

“Okay, Judge Bork. Smile and say ‘The Original Understanding’!!!” (Also: Is that Harvard Law prof Laurence Tribe standing behind Robert Bork, or just someone who looks a lot like him?) Earlier this week, we gave you a detailed report about the fabulous nuptials of Ted Olson — the winning lawyer in Bush v. Gore, former […]