Sex

Contracts

Non-Sequiturs: 01.09.13

* They should teach “defending strippers” in law school. I feel like people could have a thriving practice just representing strippers against the various perils in their lives. [The Smoking Gun] * And of course, that class should be taught by Marc Randazza. [The Legal Satyricon] * Bill Maher v. Donald Trump. Offer v. Consideration. Comedian v. D-bag. This will make for a fun issue spotter for any spring term contracts classes. [Josh Blackman's Blog] * Can you prove that a getting a legal aid lawyer actually helps? Are you sure? [Boston Globe] * Birthers are now coming after Chief Justice Roberts. You know what they’re not coming after? Book learning! (zing) [Huffington Post] * Here’s a formal job application, I think, to be the new Clerk of the Supreme Court. [Prawfsblawg] * In the state of nature, this is how pizza places were kept down to the level of the rest of us. [Legal Juice]

By David Lat
Affirmative Action

Morning Docket: 11.20.12

* Who will represent General David Petraeus as he continues to battle the fallout from his scandalous affair with Paula Broadwell? None other than Williams & Connolly partner Robert Barnett, a lawyer for Washington, D.C.’s most elite. [Blog of Legal Times] * Just in case you weren’t somehow aware, it costs quite a pretty penny to make bankrupt Biglaw firms go away. For example, more than 40 firms have paid off Brobeck, Coudert, Heller, Howrey, and Thelen with settlements of more than $35.5M. [Am Law Daily] * Hostess and the striking Bakers’ Union have agreed to go to mediation to prevent the company’s wind down. Judge Drain should force feed them delicious Ding Dongs to make them see the error of their ways. [Wall Street Journal] * “Even without a so-called affirmative-action ban, law schools aren’t doing great in terms of diversity.” That’s probably why admissions officers are so worried about the verdict in Fisher v. Texas. [National Law Journal] * For the last time, going to law school isn’t the solution for having no idea what you want to do with your life after college. And you don’t need a JD/MBA, either. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report] * Sometimes, when people from LSAC deny you extra time on the LSAT, you sit back and deal with it. Other times, you sue their pants off because your dad is a power litigator — and then you settle. [New York Post]

By Staci Zaretsky
Barack Obama

Non-Sequiturs: 11.15.12

* Everyone wants to know who Obama will appoint to the high court during his second term as president. Our very own David Lat chimed in with his suggestions on this panel of notable Supreme Court watchers. [BuzzFeed Politics] * “If you are writing a biography and either you or your subject are married to a third person, and you have sex, you have done something wrong.” Well, that’s one way to reduce the amount of scandal in your life. [Instapundit] * Who is the shirtless FBI agent who allegedly sent a sexy picture to Jill Kelley of the Petraeus Pentagon — a picture that got him kicked off the case — and how bodacious is his bod? [Business Insider] * There is no “best way” to ask for a raise, especially in this economy. But if you’re feeling sassy, you can take some of this sound advice. [Corporette] * Apologies to all you Beliebers, but California’s Paparazzi Law was just invalidated as unconstitutional. [Cheat Sheet / Daily Beast] * A time when you really shouldn’t have to yell, “Don’t tase me, bro!”: when you’re trying to use a garden hose to prevent your house from catching fire. [Legal Blog Watch]

By Staci Zaretsky
Death Penalty

Non-Sequiturs: 11.13.12

* Okay, okay, I’ll upgrade my McAfee virus protection, just please don’t kill me. [Fox News] * Elmo likes to talk dirty? [TMZ] * Progress would involve getting cops to stop beating people up just for fun. [Simple Justice] * James Dolan, already one of the worst owners in professional sports, is now sticking to the letter of the Cablevision contract and requiring customers to call in to tell them when Sandy knocked out their service if they want a refund. [Gawker] * The Electric Chair movie sounds horrifying, but so does the death penalty. [Underdog] * Check out Avvo Ignite, an exciting new client conversion and website solution for attorneys. [Avvo Ignite via Law Technology News] * Check me out on this podcast and hear my passionate and slightly drunken defense of David Petraeus. I do not think that there is an epidemic of generals being blackmailed over their affairs. [Recess Appointments]

By Elie Mystal
1st Circuit

Morning Docket: 11.13.12

* Deep in the heart of Texas, plans are in the works for the state’s secession from the nation via online petition. The most likely White House response? Probably something like this: “HAHAHAHAHAHA!” [Hillicon Valley / The Hill] * Paula Broadwell, better known as ex-CIA director David Petraeus’s side piece, has officially lawyered up. This guy had better watch out, because he kind of looks a little bit like her former flame. [Washington Post] * And then they came for the Steves, but there was no one left to speak for them. The day of reckoning has finally come for the men who are being blamed for cooking Dewey’s LeBoeuf. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight] * Law firms in Manhattan are still recovering from Hurricane Sandy. Not for nothing, but all of the staff members at WilmerHale who were tasked with getting rid of all of the rotten food in the firm’s cafeteria should get a double bonus. Just saying. [WSJ Law Blog] * Good news, underemployed law school graduates baristas! The First Circuit just affirmed your $14.1M tip-sharing judgment. Maybe now they’ll be able to afford the Starbucks diet. [National Law Journal] * “This lawsuit is a massive fraud on the federal courts and defendants. It has now descended into farce.” Facebook is yet again seeking dismissal of Paul Ceglia’s ownership claims. [Threat Level / Wired] * There may be five deciding factors when it comes to law school admissions, but serious candidates should focus on the two most important ones: LSAT and GPA. [Law School Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

By Staci Zaretsky