State Judges Are Clowns

This Judge Has Some Crude Insights About Women And Booze

He earned himself an ethics complaint for making insensitive remarks like this.

Benchslap Of The Day: A Judge’s ‘Retarded’ Remarks Result In Reversal

A state high court benchslaps a trial judge for making impartial and derogatory remarks in a child custody dispute.

Judge Benchslaps Fellow Jurist In Awesomely Feisty Footnote

Whoa, these judges probably shouldn't sit next to each other on the bench at court.

John Oliver Thrashes Elected Judges

It takes John Oliver only a few minutes to obliterate the idea that we should be electing judges.

Judges Want Women Lawyers To ‘Stop Showing Off’ Their ‘Distracting’ Cleavage, Legs In Court

It seems that one of the biggest problems facing the Virginia justice system is not its gross prosecution and over-incarceration of minorities, but women lawyers in skirts.

Judge Indicted For Allegedly Attacking, Screaming Racial Slur At Mentally Disabled Man

If true, the allegations against the judge are absolutely insane.

Morning Docket: 12.22.14

* Florida Judge Cynthia Imperato was "devastated" after a jury found her guilty of DUI and reckless driving charges, but we imagine the judge may be more devastated by the fact that she's a sitting judge who's been sentenced to 20 days of house arrest. [Florida Sun Sentinel] * David Schwimmer, best known for his role as Ross on Friends, has been cast as lawyer Robert Kardashian in an O.J. Simpson true crime television miniseries. He surely knows it'll take a lot of "unagi" to play the role just right. [Rolling Stone] * If you have to debt finance your J.D., you're going to in for a rude awakening when you graduate and the loans start coming due. FYI, "lot[s] of graduates [are] buried in private student loan debt with not enough income to repay it." [Forbes] * The parents of James Holmes, who's better known as the alleged shooter in the Aurora movie theater massacre, have begged for him to be spared the death penalty ahead of his trial, but prosecutors say that in this case, "justice is death." [Denver Post] * When it comes to Russia, "[a] lot of firms are thinking about pulling out.” That's what she would've said if she were a managing partner. Biglaw firms that have been rocked by the ruble's ruin are telling lawyers to leave before they're laid off. [Am Law Daily] * Binder & Binder, the National Social Security Disability Advocates® whose late-night TV commercials you've grown to love, has filed for bankruptcy. The firm's headcount will likely drop by more than half because of this. Yikes! [WSJ Law Blog]

Judge Accused Of Having Inappropriate Relationship With Cooley Law Student

What allegedly happened between this judge and his intern?

Morning Docket: 11.05.14

* Bingham McCutchen canceled its partnership retreat, and their partner offer letters from Morgan Lewis must be accepted by today’s deadline — all while a prospective merger currently hangs in the balance. [Am Law Daily] * Per Altman Weil’s 2014 Chief Legal Officer Survey, the work at in-house legal departments is about to grow exponentially, while the spend on outside counsel will decrease in turn. Uh oh, no bueno. [Corporate Counsel] * “The attempt to have the defendant have any kind of humility has failed.” Due to “unsatisfactory” apologies to state employees, former judge Joan Orie Melvin will have to re-apologize for her crimes. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette] * “A troubled law school is like Dracula: hard to kill.” In the wake of the Thomas Jefferson School of Law’s debt restructuring, it’s now obvious that law schools aren’t worth much at all. [DealBook / New York Times] * Republicans are now in control in both the House and the Senate, but fear not, because the nation’s capital just legalized marijuana. That’ll help calm down the depressed D.C. Democrats out there. [CNN] * Though it’s unlikely, thanks to this ruling, Anna Anna Anna Anna Anna Nicole’s lawyer/lover could be retried for allegedly giving illegally obtained prescriptions to the drug-addled model. [National Law Journal] * Tinder’s cofounder apparently made a killing on her sexual harassment settlement with the company. Though no one admitted guilt, she reportedly took home “just over” $1M. Get it, girl. [Business Insider]

Morning Docket: 10.23.14

* Everyone knows Bingham McCutchen is considering a merger with Morgan Lewis, but not many know bankruptcy may be an option. It’s a remote option, but still an option. [Boston Globe] * When Kaye Scholer moved offices, it left behind most of its library. "It tells you everything you need to know about law firm libraries": they're not necessary. [New York Times] * Everyone loves the Sixth Amendment: Thanks to money from Koch Industries, the National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers will offer better indigent defense training. [WSJ Law Blog] * The judge in Adrian Peterson’s case won’t be replaced, despite the fact that he called the lawyers involved in the case “media whores.” Meh, Peterson’s attorney says he’s been called worse. [Bloomberg] * Gilberto Valle, better known as the “Cannibal Cop,” really wants to go to law school. He’s apparently scored quite well on LSAT practice tests. Do law school ladies look delicious or what? [New York Post]

Judges Are At Each Other’s Throats Over ‘Porngate’ Scandal

It seems like these judges are about to get into a fist fight with each other.

A Law School Dean Turns A Judge’s Sexist Snafu Into A Teachable Moment

A judge tells a woman lawyer that he thinks she would look good in leather. Oy.

Supreme Court Justice Involved In ‘Porngate’ Scandal

Which Supreme Court justice allegedly traded sexually explicit emails with his colleagues?

Morning Docket: 09.29.14

* Now that we know Eric Holder is resigning, there’s been speculation as to where he’ll go next. The obvious choice is a return to Covington & Burling, but he could still surprise everyone. [National Law Journal] * “Judicial campaign cash is burning a hole in the Constitution.” State court judges are pumping money into their election campaigns, and some have been left to wonder about its true price. [New York Times] * Details have emerged as to conditions that must be met for Bingham McCutchen’s proposed merger with Morgan Lewis: partner promises, de-equitizations, and forgivable loans, oh my! [Reuters (sub. req.)] * In the wake of Dean Makau Mutua’s decision to step down at Buffalo Law, a “deep rift” among faculty has been brought to light. The school’s future doesn’t seem as “bright” as we were one told. [Buffalo News] * A former law student who was falsely identified as a porn star on the radio had her day in court and pulled out a win. Here’s the money shot: she’s walking away with $1 million in damages. [Kansas City Star]

Judge Punished For Going To Court Drunk, Peeing In The Street

She had to spend three days in an intensive care unit for severe alcohol intoxication...