Tobacco / Smoking

Non-Sequiturs: 11.09.12

* You can take our lives, but you can never take our freedom to slowly take our own lives by smoking cigarettes in public! [U.S. Eighth Circuit / FindLaw] * Some humorously sketchy legal advice, courtesy of Reddit. [Associate's Mind] * A Russian in-house attorney got dumped and then allegedly went to work and shot seven people. [ABA Journal] * L.A. County voted to force porn stars to wear condoms during shoots. In other news, the entire porn industry packed up yesterday and moved to… somewhere outside L.A. County. [Legal Blog Watch] * Dean Boland, one of Paul Ceglia’s ex-lawyers, just lost an appeal of a $300K judgment after he allegedly manipulated “photos that depicted minors engaged in sex acts.” [WSJ Law Blog] * Elie says: You’d think that covering up your own extra-marital affairs would be part of the CIA Director entrance exam. [New York Times]

The People v. Cap’n Crunch: Suing Big Food

Veterans of the tobacco wars are gearing up to file lawsuits against the food industry. What types of claims are these suits making?

This Illinois Attorney Could Lose His Law License — For Smuggling Cuban Cigars

There comes a point when you can have too many Cuban cigars. This attorney may have crossed that line…

Non-Sequiturs: 08.08.12

* This guy gets an A for imagination, but he fails the whole “How do you not realize that emergency dispatch will not send you a ride to go on a beer run, even if you call 911 nine times” test. [WCTI12] * You know you’re addicted to cigarettes when you’ll smoke cigarettes that were hidden in a baby’s diaper. Then again, smoking already involves inhaling something covered in s**t. [Legal Juice] * If you think tenants should get screwed because of a landlord who can’t pay his bills, you’re probably a horrible landlord. [The Consumerist] * A 49-year-old attorney is charged with sexually assaulting a 24-year-old woman in her room at the Chicago W Hotel. Bad news Bears. Seriously, ugh. [Chicago Tribune] * Just give me all the foreclosed homes you have. Wait, wait. I worry what you just heard was ‘give me a lot of foreclosed homes.’ What I said was: Give me all the foreclosed homes you have. Do you understand? [My Fox Detroit via Legal Blog Watch] * Whoever produces public-service announcements forgot that not only are drugs bad but so is a propensity toward violent anger. One could argue the latter is more likely to land you in jail. Either way, hilarious. [Buzz Feed]

Morning Docket: 03.20.12

* It’s time for the Supreme Court to sound off on the battle over women’s wombs, and you know it’s bad when even a sitting justice calls it “a mess.” Can a child conceived after a parent’s death receive survivor benefits? [CNN] * Disgusting health warning pictures on cigarette packaging and advertising: now constitutional according to the Sixth Circuit. Maybe this will inspire people to quit a habit that’s almost equally as disgusting. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight] * When Biglaw is involved, so is big money. Say “aloha” to the largest personal injury settlement in Hawaii’s history. The state will pay $15.4M over the hiking death of Gibson Dunn partner Elizabeth Brem. [Am Law Daily] * A lawsuit filed against fashionista Alexander Wang over his alleged “sweatshop” has been discontinued, and not because there isn’t a case, but because the lawyers on either side have major beef. [New York Magazine] * The Better Business Bureau has moved to dismiss a Florida law firm’s suit over its “F” grade. Because sometimes the truth hurts, but that doesn’t mean you can sue over it if you don’t like it. [Orlando Sentinel] * The biggest bimbo from Wisteria Lane gets screwed again, but this time in court. A mistrial has been declared in Nicollette Sheridan’s lawsuit against the producers of “Desperate Housewives.” [Reuters]

Morning Docket: 03.01.12

* A federal judge tossed out a law requiring tobacco companies to put graphic warning labels on cigarette packages. If paying $7 a pack doesn’t stop you from buying smokes, I don’t think nasty photos will either. [CNN] * SCOTUS won’t deal with Arizona’s controversial immigration law for a couple months, but the 11th Circuit will hear oral arguments about Alabama’s even stricter law today. But why would you immigrate to Alabama, of all places? Thomson Reuters News & Insight] * The Seventh Circuit ruled that police can search a cellphone for its number without a warrant. Judge Richard Posner compared it to law enforcement’s ability to open a pocket diary and copy the owner’s address. The bigger question is: do drug dealers keep diaries? [Wall Street Journal] * James Murdoch, the News Corp. heir apparent, has resigned in the wake of the News of the World scandal and related lawsuits. Now everyone can just go back to reading British tabloids for the Page Three Girls. [Los Angeles Times] * RIP Lynn D. “Buck” Compton, the prosecutor who secured a conviction of Robert F. Kennedy’s assassin, and the Army paratrooper portrayed in the book and HBO miniseries “Band of Brothers.” [Washington Post]

Quote of the Day: Dangerous Addictions

When you stop smoking, the cigarettes don’t get together to figure out how to kill you anyway. — Benjamin Wittes, on a panel at the National Lawyers Convention of the Federalist Society, responding to the observation that smoking and traffic accidents cause more deaths in a year than 9/11. (Julian Sanchez discusses what the web […]

Morning Docket: 05.11.11

* SlutWalk: no, I’m not talking about your weekend plans. Don’t tell law students not to dress like sluts, because they’ll use their brains and hold a half-naked protest about it. [CNN World] * More than 23,000 people downloaded The Expendables? Seriously? You deserve to be sued. My boyfriend made me see that movie, and […]

Morning Docket: 03.21.11

* Sammy Alito and the roots of a compassionate constitutional conservatism. By Emily Bazelon. Foreblurb by Juggalo Law. [New York Times] * A U.S. vulture fund is having problems collecting a certain debt from the Democratic Republic of Congo via certain chinamen. Yes, I know that’s not the preferred nomenclature. But these men actually do […]

Elie’s Vacation Memo: Time To Turn Over a New Leaf (And Try Not To Smoke It)

As regular readers know, this is usually the time of year I go to Vegas, blow my bonus, and come back to work a week later angrier than ever. Well, this year, it’s going to be different. Oh, don’t worry, when I return to Above the Law’s pages on March 14th, I’m sure I’ll be […]

Morning Docket: 02.23.11

* If I had a nickel for every federal judge who dismissed a challenge to Obamacare, I’d have fifteen cents. Come to think of it, phrasing it that way doesn’t illustrate a whole lot. Oh well. [New York Times] * Tennessee seeks to outdumb every other state with a proposal that would make it a […]

Morning Docket: 02.11.11

* If the Muslim Brotherhood gains power in Egypt, they will impose sharia law. Just like Oklahoma! [ABC Online] * Lindsay Lohan took to Twitter to announce that she “was not raised to lie, cheat, or steal.” Well, nature it is. [msnbc.com] * Arizona is suing the federal government over the porous border. Mr. Obama, […]

Lawyer of the Day: What Are You Going To Do, Arrest Me for Smoking?

Smokers are not crazy. I know it seems like we’re crazy. I know what non-smokers think: “Why would you put something in your body that you know will give you cancer?” It’s not like the explanation is particularly complicated: 1) it’s a narcotic and people get addicted, and 2) some people aren’t terribly worried about […]

Judge to Mitigate Damages Out of Pity For Philip Morris Counsel

A Florida state court judge, Jeffrey Streitfeld, has decided that the largest individual award to a former smoker is excessive. The Daily Business Review (gavel bang: ABA Journal) reports on the good news for tobacco peddler Philip Morris: Calling the $300 million jury verdict “excessive” and “shocking,” Judge Jeffrey Streitfeld said he would determine a […]

Musical Chairs: Kirkland Litigation Partner David Bernick to Philip Morris

Kirkland & Ellis is known for its powerful litigators and leading litigation department. Though Gibson Dunn was happy to knock Kirkland from its Amlaw “Litigation Department of the Year” throne this year. Kirkland is suffering another big knock this week. Litigation co-chair David Bernick has developed a tobacco addiction. Here’s a quote from Bernick included […]