Benchslapped: Don't F**k with Time Stamps, You WILL Get Busted

From a correspondent in the Beehive State:

Dying for just a few extra days on that brief? Ever thought about trying to game that little date stamp machine outside the court house?

The attached order has been causing some buzz here in Salt Lake City. Judge Dale Kimball is not exactly a divo, but I love this order, not only for the slimy behavior of the Snell & Wilmer attorneys that got totally busted (check the docket for the exact attorney names), but also for the clever detective work by the court staff.

This is a good lesson. And a great example of an attorney getting benchslapped!

Here’s the first page of the order:

And now it’s time for this court to rip counsel a new one. The rest of order follows after the jump.


PAGE TWO

PAGE THREE

We’re not surprised that Judge Kimball doesn’t tolerate shenanigans. Here’s an excerpt from an interesting profile:

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Judge Dale A. Kimball grew up on a dairy farm in Draper, Utah. Those early mornings milking cows taught him the importance of responsibility. He quickly learned that if he didn’t do his job, there would be a barn full of unhappy cows and a house full of unhappy parents. In addition to his barnyard responsibilities, Judge Kimball also worked in the fields, where the family raised alfalfa, sugar beets, and grain. He faithfully worked on the family farm throughout his schooling, including law school. These experiences also taught Judge Kimball the importance of working hard, working smart, and finishing tasks on time.

Maybe “Baby Judges School” should include a stint on a farm? We’d love to see a bunch of newly confirmed circuit judges try to milk a cow — in their robes. Think of it as “The Simple Life,” but for judges.
P.S. Yes, Utah’s state nickname is “the Beehive State.” File that away for future reference, in case (1) you apply for a clerkship with Judge Danny J. Boggs (6th Cir.), or (2) you end up as a contestant on Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader.
P.P.S. Is it just us, or are the questions on that show harder than you’d expect them to be?
Update: Thanks to the various commenters who pointed out Snell & Wilmer’s law firm motto: “Character comes through.” We’ve added an appropriate graphic to the top of this post.
Dale Kimball bio [FJC]
Judicial Profile: Dale Kimball [Utah State Bar Association]

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