ACLU, New York Times, Weddings

Legal Eagle Wedding Watch 8.17: Gynomite!

champagne glasses small.jpgThe theme of yesterday’s LEWW was the hotness disparity between three glowing brides and their very lucky grooms. Today we’re delighted to report that the wedding gods stepped it up with our most recent batch of newlyweds. They’ve brought us four grooms who are at least as attractive as their brides or co-grooms. (And needless to say, all six of our newlyweds have the shiny credentials that you’ve come to expect from the Legal Eagle Wedding Watch.)
On to the finalists! Here they are:

1. Joanna Schwab and Nathan Pusey

2. Joseph Loy and Michael Kavey

3. Zoe Palitz and Brian Goldman

Click on the link below to find out more about these couples.

Schwab-Pusey.jpg1. Joanna Schwab and Nathan Pusey
(Buy them a $500 perfume bottle.)
The Case:
– Hel-LO, hottie groom! Nate, like Tom Brady, was a player at the University of Michigan. He was a law student there when he met Joanna–who was an undergraduette at the time–outside a bar. Nate also graduated cum laude from Penn undergrad.
– Joanna works in marketing, and Nate is an associate at Paul Weiss in Manhattan.
– There has been some buzz already this week on ATL over Joanna’s eyebrows, but we honestly don’t see what the fuss is about. We think she’s lovely, and this picture shows that there really isn’t a hotness disparity, just a height disparity.
The Case Against:
– LEWW is not going to stirrup any controversy that could papably smear Team Schawb-Pusey‘s image. (Readers, could you scoot down a little? Just a little more. That’s great, thanks.) It’s true that when we first examined Team Schawb-Pusey, something started to gel, but then the cold fingers of doubt crept in. We felt a little pressure, and we decided to end the speculumation. So no, we have nothing negative to say about these two!
Loy-Kavey.jpg2. Joseph Loy and Michael Kavey
(Buy them a duvet cover.)
The Case:
– More gorgeous grooms! This same-sex, dual-lawyer couple looks good and does good. Joseph, a law clerk to federal district judge Kiyo A. Matsumoto, taught physics in Gambia as a Peace Corps volunteer. Michael (a bit of a Tom Brady look-alike himself) is a fellow at Lambda Legal in Manhattan.
– Their educational credentials are as sparkling as their teeth. Joseph was magna at the University of Oklahoma; he has a MPA from Columbia and a JD from NYU. Michael was cum laude at Yale and has a JD from YLS. He also has a master’s in Spanish from Middlebury.
The Case Against:
– Nothing against the University of Oklahoma, but it doesn’t sound like any place for a gay man, unless the abundance of sinewy, football-loving rodeo cowboys compensates for the loneliness and isolation (or unless we have the wrong impression of Oklahoma). We’re just happy that Joseph found his way to New York.
3. Zoe Palitz and Brian Goldman
(Buy them a knife block.)
The Case:
This earnest pair blows Team Loy-Kavey‘s do-gooderism right out of the water. Teach For America? Check (bride, before law school). NAACP Legal Defense Fund? Check (groom, this summer). ACLU? Check (bride, this summer). The California League for Environmental Enforcement Now? Check (bride’s mother). The other three parents serve humankind as, variously, a gastroenterologist, a hemotologist/oncologist, and an endocrinologist.
– The bride and groom are rising 2Ls at Stanford (where they are not, one can safely assume, active in the Federalist Society). They both have undergraduate degrees from Yale (Brian was magna).
The Case Against:
– Not much to criticize here. They seem relatively normal, and they’re undeniably well-matched, attractiveness-wise. If we wanted to quibble, we might question why such a California-centric couple put their announcement in the NYT. But of course they probably wanted to be considered for LEWW.
The Verdict:
We love Team Schwab-Pusey. We’ll think of them annually. But in fairness, the real contest this week is between the two double-lawyer couples. Team Palitz-Goldman has impressed us with their earnestness. But–and maybe it’s just because we’ve thought enough about vaginas for today–we think Team Loy-Kavey has the edge. Congratulations, guys!

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