Ed. note: Welcome to the latest installment of “Notes from the Breadline,” a column by a laid-off lawyer in New York. Prior columns are collected here. You can reach Roxana St. Thomas by email (at roxanastthomas@gmail.com), follow her on Twitter, or find her on Facebook.

As many of you know, waiting is an integral part of life in the breadline. You send out résumés, and you wait. You make follow-up calls to prospective employers — and wait. You hear that the nation’s economic climate is improving, so (although you see no factual indicia that this is actually the case) you dust off your interview suits, submit applications … and wait. You vaguely remember what momentum feels like, and what it feels like to have a life that moves forward. You think about getting up and walking away, about leaving frustration and disappointment behind you. But instead, because you have no choice, you wait.

This interminable waiting, of anticipating an event that never materializes, can become so familiar that, after a while, it barely registers. It also becomes progressively harder to identify what, precisely, you are waiting for. Movement is suspended; growth is deferred. The only way to stave off inertia is by clinging to hope, no matter how vague or ephemeral it seems.

On that bright note, we bring you Notes from the Breadline Community Theater. Because adult professional life probably doesn’t leave you nearly enough time to reflect on life’s baffling futility through absurdist theater, our feature presentation is — you guessed it! — an adaptation of Samuel Beckett’s “Waiting for Godot.” Since you all did so well on your Homework Assignments from the Breadline, you can go ahead and cheat on this one. The SparkNotes summary is here, and you can refresh your recollection of the text, in all its glory, here and here.

Now, dear readers, without further delay (hush! The house lights are going down!), we bring you “Waiting for Bono.”

Allen Feingold, a former Pennsylvania attorney, really loved practicing law. Even after being suspended and eventually disbarred, he continued to service clients — and went to extraordinary measures to do so.

From Gina Passarella of the Legal Intelligencer:

[Feingold] created letterhead in the name of attorney Jeffry Stephen Pearson, another attorney who apparently handled some of Feingold’s files once Feingold was suspended. Feingold would use that letterhead, unbeknown to Pearson, to file pleadings and legal correspondence to lawyers, clients and judges, according to the complaint. Once Pearson learned of this, he changed his password for electronic filings with the court, but Feingold learned of the new password and continued making filings under Pearson’s name, the ODC alleged in the complaint.

To put a stop to his misconduct, a judge ordered the Office of Disciplinary Counsel to lock Feingold out of his offices.

Pretty bad — but it gets worse….

* Marcia Clark (!) has involved herself in the Roman Polanski case. Someday, this is going to make a great movie. [WSJ Law Blog]

* The trustees of Michael Jackson’s estate are suing the Heal the World foundation. [Popsquire]

* Maybe SCOTUS Justices are just a little camera shy? [Lowering the Bar]

* I have no idea what a “lifehack” is. Frankly, it sounds like something Neo, Morpheus, and Trinity could help with. Nonetheless, this is some solid advice for getting through law school. [Online College Tips]

* Texticular homicide. [True/Slant]

* Does the “Above the Law effect” explain increased bitching about the legal employment market? Could be. Could just be that the legal employment market is gawd-awful. [Concurring Opinions]

When we were little, our parents let us eat Lucky Charms, Golden Grahams, and Chocolate Rice Krispies for breakfast. When we wanted to be ‘healthier’, we might eat Froot Loops. Over time, we came to realize that Toucan Sam did not offer any more nutritional value than Lucky the Leprechaun. (Now when we want morning fruit, we add bananas or blueberries to our oatmeal.)

Apparently, there are people in the world who didn’t have the same breakfast epiphany on the way to adulthood. They like to file lawsuits against breakfast companies for false advertising. The latest of these fruity lawsuit hails from San Francisco.

From San Francisco Weekly:

[Roy] Werbel recently filed a lawsuit in San Francisco federal court alleging that he bought and ate boxes of Froot Loops based on his mistaken belief the cereal contained fruit.

Kellogg’s intentionally deceived consumers into buying Froot Loops by misleadingly using the word “froot” in the title, Werbel alleges. He demands unspecified punitive and actual damages, to be paid to all consumers who have mistakenly bought Froot Loops cereal. Had Werbel known that “Froot Loops contained no fruit, he would not have purchased it,” his suit alleges.

After being misled by Froot Loops, Werbel turned to Cap’n Crunch Crunchberries. To his shock and surprise, they have no real berries. So he filed a second lawsuit against the Cap’n. Apparently, he didn’t hear the crunch of fellow Californians’ identical similar suits getting dismissed earlier this summer.

All of these easily-deceived Californians fail to get points for creativity. The original fruity suit snap-crackle-and-popped way back in 1983. See Committee on Children’s Television, Inc. v.General Foods Corp. [PDF]. That one was also filed in the golden state.

This leads us to wonder what’s in the milk in California… besides fake fruit.

‘Froot’ Is Not Fruit, San Francisco Lawsuit Alleges [San Francisco Weekly]
Froot Loops and Cap’n Crunch False Advertising Claims Rejected [Martindale]
Committee on Children’s Television, Inc. v.General Foods Corp [PDF]

There are firms that want to make more female partners (and minority partners for that matter), but honestly do not know how to make that happen. Retaining top female associates through a couple of years of around 3,000 billable hours is just difficult, especially if those women want to have a family.

Over on the WSJ Law Blog, Ashby Jones explores the female partner problem facing Clifford Chance:

The issue was the topic of an interesting article this week in the UK’s The Lawyer. The focus of the article was Clifford Chance, which has pledged to increase its percentage of female partners to 30 percent.

As the Lawyer reports, however, “the firm has a long way to go.” Currently, only 15 percent of its partnership is female.

The Lawyer article explains that there is no quick fix to the problem:

“There’s no one thing that will solve the problem,” says Childs. “There’s no quick fix. It’s a long-term goal that we’re very focused on. It’s something that all firms face and there are many ways you can approach it.”

Aggressively pursuing a dramatic increase in female partners is problematic, Childs argues. Firms need to find creative ways to change their cultures and encourage females to strive for partnership.

Give Clifford Chance some credit here. You aren’t going to fix this issue without confronting it head on.

While firms contemplate their cultural impediments to dramatic growth in female partnership , Patricia Gillette — who is a partner at Orrick — sees one simple change that could make eating the hours a little easier for all attorneys.

There is nothing wrong with taking an unpaid internship. When you are just starting out and looking to get some experience under your belt, internships can be a great opportunity.

It’s just that usually lawyers who have been through three years of law school and passed one of the most difficult bar exams in the country aren’t in the position of having to work for free.

But times are tough. And at least one law firm in Menlo Park, California is ready to capitalize on the desperation of young lawyers. Here’s the key part of their Craigslist ad:

The current economic climate has made it difficult for young lawyers to find paid positions. Employment prospects improve with experience and a stronger resume. Good experience with a top notch firm is what we offer. If you can realistically make a six to twelve month commitment and can get by without compensation (other than billable travel, mileage, parking and related expenses), this is an excellent opportunity. We cannot make any promises of future paid positions. Candidates who have proven and distinguished themselves during internships, will be considered for future paid positions with the firm.

Let’s look at the positives of not earning any money and do a reader poll after the jump.

As we mentioned yesterday, some jobs with the federal government — an excellent refuge from the economic storm — are disappearing even before the application period closes. So we’ll tell you about this next opportunity even before the application period opens (which is tomorrow).

A tipster tells us:

I’m a longtime reader of ATL and a big follower of all the useful info and entertaining gossip posted on the site.

I notice you recently posted about the DOJ Honors program. I was hoping you might consider writing about the Presidential Management Fellows (PMF) program.

[T]he PMF program is a hidden, relatively-unexploited gem for graduating law students, and it has not received proper attention by most of the law schools’ offices of career services. While the DOJ Honors program and the Bristow Fellowship got pretty good publicity at my school’s career services office, nobody knew much about the PMF program. I heard about it through a non-law-school source, and had to go to my university’s public policy school for more information….

[T]he PMF program is one of the absolute best avenues for graduating 3Ls that are: (a) interesting in working for the government; (b) interested in public service; (c) willing to accept a government salary with average tuition reimbursement opportunities; and/or (d) voluntarily or involuntarily not planning to work for biglaw after graduation. Fellows can apply for a position from a wide range of government agencies, including the DOJ, State Department, Department of Defense, USAID, Health and Human Services, Homeland Security, Department of Education, Federal Elections Commission, etc. These positions are generally not available for public application because of stringent government hiring restrictions (agency preference, civil service preference, veteran’s preference, etc.)

Sound promising? Read more, after the jump.

Yesterday, American Lawyer released its 2009 summer associate survey. We noted that, predictably, summers were terrified.

That is the “what” from the survey. Law Shucks has crunched some numbers, and given us a little insight into the “why.” Here are the top ten firms as ranked by summer associates:

Do you notice a theme there? The firms that summer associates liked the best were firms that didn’t conduct massive layoffs before the summers showed up. Hmmm ….

You’ll have to click over the Law Shucks to see the charts on how the firms with significant layoffs fared. But after the jump, there is a surprising correlation.

A quick word of thanks to this week’s advertisers on Above the Law:

On Monday, we reviewed the new website of Ballard Spahr. The firm rolled out a new name: it’s just Ballard Spahr LLP now, and not Ballard, Spahr, Andrews & Ingersoll LLP. While it shaved some names from its moniker, it upped its photo count: attorneys had to take two photos for their bios, a head shot and a full-body shot.

We created a poll and asked whether it’s acceptable for your firm to ask you to take a body shot for the website. Almost 70% of you said no.

But Ballard’s not the only firm making its attorney do body shots. Commenters on the Ballard thread pointed us to another firm that requires both body shots and a bit of acting.

They do it bigger and better in Texas. A San Antonio-based law firm, Cox Smith, makes its attorneys take three photos for their firm bio pages.

A selection of the Cox “triple threat” photos — along with reader-provided captions, some of them irreverent, so consider yourselves warned — after the jump.

Yesterday the news broke that Steven Molo, of Shearman & Sterling, and Jeffrey Lamken, of Baker Botts, were leaving their respective firms to start a new litigation boutique. It will be called MoloLamken and start out with offices in New York and D.C. Am Law Daily reports that the firm represents the new recession model for business generation:

If there is a firm model built for the dawning post-recession era, it’s probably a litigation boutique with low overhead and a flexible billing structure….

The firm will start with four partners and two associates, and will work on both plaintiffs and defense cases. Within five years, Molo says he hopes to have around 50 lawyers. “Over time, clients have become far more sophisticated in hiring firms,” he said. “They understand how a firm like this can be small but every bit as efficient or even more so than a larger firm.”

But are they hiring? Details after the jump.

* Thumbs down on the public option from the Senate Finance Committee. [New York Times]

* Second Circuit gives Debevoise the green light to represent MetLife in a class action where some Debevoise lawyers may be called as witnesses. [New York Law Journal]

* No prison term for a former Paul Hastings associate involved in an insider trading scheme. [ABA Journal]

* Third Circuit says no dice (yet again) to Delaware’s sports betting plan. [Am Law Daily]

* An Arizona state court judge has issued an injunction against new restrictions on abortion. [How Appealing]

* Former Yankee Chuck Knoblauch has been charged with domestic violence. [Houston Chronicle via WSJ Law Blog]

* Hungry for more debate on the Roman Polanski case? Here are some additional viewpoints. [Room for Debate / New York Times]

Despite the grim economy -- which we don't think is recovering yet, despite all the "green shoots" talk -- law firms continue to interview. And to make job offers. And, of course, to woo the lucky few who get offers with fabulous prizes: the nifty gifts and cute tchotchkes, often branded with the firm's name or logo, that we collectively call LAW FIRM SWAG.

At the recent Lavender Law conference (coverage here and here), we were impressed by the level of interview activity at the job fair. To be sure, it's not clear whether any hiring was going on; but it was nice to see law firms out in force.

And it was nice to see their swag. There were pens, courtesy of Seyfarth Shaw, and compact shoeshine discs, courtesy of Townsend and Townsend and Crew. (Leave it to an IP law firm to bring out the snazzy hardware.)

And what about Sullivan & Cromwell, giver of bonsai trees, and the historical king of law firm swag? What did S&C dole out at this year's Lavender Law conference?

Find out -- and, even more importantly, learn how to nominate your favorite Biglaw gift in Above the Law's first annual LAW FIRM SWAG CONTEST -- after the jump.

* Can someone please explain to me why coffee needs to be roughly the temperature of fire when it is handed to me? I want something to drink, not something I can use to sanitize a bathroom. [Torts Prof Blog]

* Marin asked me if the good days of Biglaw were gone forever. My response can be summed up in one word: “outsourcing.” [Technolawyer]

* How should you handle a rude recruiter? I don’t know, sweep the leg? [Let’s Talk Turkey]

* Do you ever lie in bed wondering if Biglaw would take you back? [Ivy League Insecurities]

* Tips on snagging a clerkship from NYU Law. [Blackbook Legal]

* Idle hands are the Devil’s playthings. [Litination]

* You might remember that I thought former law student of the day, Janero Marchand, got a raw deal from some ATL commenters. Still, it’s an important lesson every buppie should know. [True/Slant]

Kimberly and Kevin Ireland, of Kansas, decided in 2007 to file for a divorce. Their case was mediated by state judge Kevin Moriarty. Things did not go well from there.

From a pro se complaint [PDF] against Moriarty posted at Courthouse News Service:

Defendant Moriarty used the word “f*&%” during the mediation… Defendant Moriarty discussed plaintiff Ireland’s female undergarments and referred to the same as “panties” during the mediation… Defendant Moriarty discussed plaintiff Ireland’s sex life during the mediation.

According to Kathy Ireland, none of this was relevant to the mediation. But Moriarty thought it was important. And exciting:

Defendant Moriarty appeared to be masturbating during the mediation.

It all sounds pretty crazy, right? But Ireland’s ex-husband is actually backing her up on this.

Vanity Fair has a detailed article on Marc Dreier. It’s TLDR fascinating. The magazine has a great quote from Dreier explaining how his life felt after he got divorced and split from his longtime business partner:

All this sent Dreier into an emotional tailspin. “I was very distraught,” he says. “I was very disappointed in my life. I felt my career and my marriage were over. I was 52 and [I felt] maybe life was passing me by…. I felt like I was a failure.” His feelings of despair were deepened by his keen, lifelong sense of entitlement, a hard-core belief that he was destined to achieve great things.

Dreier felt that way at 52. How many young lawyers feel that way at 25, after getting laid off early in their career or no offered entirely? Of course, some people rebound from that feeling with renewed motivation. Dreier used the emotion to underpin criminal activity. Our friends at Dealbreaker get into Dreier’s head this way:

It’d be enough to send anyone to a place where the next logical thing to do would be impersonate hedge fund managers and stage fake conference calls! And honestly, not to insult anyone here, but do you know how easy it is to scam these hedgie guys? Like crazy easy. It almost seems like the crime would be to not scam them, if you think about it.

If you don’t have the time to get through the whole VF article, check out the highlights on Dealbreaker.

Marc Dreier’s Crime of Destiny [Vanity Fair]
Marc Dreier Got Into The Ponzi Biz To Fulfill His Destiny For Greatness, To Fill A Void, And To Buy A Beach House [Dealbreaker]

The tort reformers among you are going to love this story. Just as it looks like there might be an opening to enact significant medical malpractice reform, it appears that one of the most powerful lobbying arms against reform is hemorrhaging money (gavel bang: Overlawyered). The Washington Times reports:

The American Association for Justice, the most prominent group representing plaintiffs’ attorneys, has seen a shake-up in its executive suite and has struggled to deal with what appears to be a mounting budget shortfall. To help it fight congressional efforts to make it harder for patients to sue doctors and lawyers, it recently sent out an extra solicitation to its members, asking them to fork over money for a lobbying campaign.

The most striking evidence of its financial woes is a swift decline in income, which resulted in a more than $6.2 million deficit in its operating budget for the fiscal year ending July 31, 2008, the most recent year for which data are available.

The reason for the shortfall appears to be fewer members. Details after the jump.

American Lawyer has released its annual summer associate survey. Not surprisingly, summer associates were generally terrified:

“The economic times suck,” one clerk at New York’s Skadden, Arps, Meagher, Slate & Flom wrote bluntly in response to our most recent summer associates survey. “The firm can’t change that. But the times have made for a difficult summer.” A Bryan Cave intern put it this way: “It is a scary time to be a law student.”

One indication of just how scary: The number of summer clerks who said they expected to receive full-time job offers was down sharply, according to our survey, while anecdotal evidence culled from respondents’ answers to open-ended questions suggested that stress and anxiety levels were up.

I had thought that many summers were stuck in the anger stage of grief. But this report suggests that many summers have actually jumped all the way ahead to stage four: depression. I guess that is progress?

As we suspected, 2009 summers took more of an “every man for himself” approach to this year’s summer experience. Details after the jump.

For those of you considering prostitution to pay off your law school debts (you know who you are), consider the cautionary tale of Cristina Warthen. As we have previously reported, Cristina graduated from Stanford Law School in 2001. But instead of going into Biglaw, Cristina adopted the porn name “Brazil” and turned herself into a high-priced escort.

Granted, if she graduated today, Cristina might have been able to get some public interest deferral money for her “service.” But this was a long time ago.

And for a while Cristina was a smashing success. She even landed a rich husband, AskJeeves founder David Warthen.

But the Warthens were hit hard by the recession, and the couple split. Meanwhile, the government came looking for $313,000 in back taxes from Cristina’s sultry side business.

The ABA Journal reports that there is a resolution in Cristina’s case. What sentence did she get?

I’m not particularly interested in the history of the Titanic, but my cursory understanding of the tragedy tells me that there were not enough life boats for all of the passengers. That seems like a basic design flaw to me.

As clear as I can tell, current law students are suffering from a similar lack of suitable escape options. Future lawyers are responding to the difficulty of getting a job in private practice by bombarding government agencies with applications. But the sheer number of applicants is flooding the market for government lawyers, leaving many students out in the cold.

Applications are going far beyond obvious options like the Department of Justice. Yesterday, the Federal Trade Commission decided it couldn’t even take on any more resumes:

Thank you for your interest in the Federal Trade Commission, Bureau of Competition. Due to a record number of applications, we have ended our application period in advance of the September 30th deadline.

Again, thank you for your interest and please keep the Bureau in mind for future opportunities.

Sincerely,

Bureau of Competition Hiring Committee

When we’re at the point in the movie where the government is locking the doors to steerage, you know things are bad.

In response, Cornell Law School is urging students who want to work to move even more quickly. Details after the jump.

Back to our series of open threads covering small (or smaller) law firms, focused on different practice areas. We’ve already written about small law firms in general, insurance law, personal injury law, trusts and estates, immigration, and real estate. Some of those discussions are still active, so feel free to look back at them.

Today we turn our attention to what’s widely viewed as a hot field: INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY. The reader who requested IP law as a subject offered an overview of the field:

IP is a very variable, different, and often forgotten practice of law that is mostly inhabited by engineers and science geeks who have no problems wearing Cosby sweaters and bad shoes around their workplaces.

More serious reflections, plus some questions, after the jump.

* Doo-doo diligence? Proskauer Rose and Holland & Knight have both been hit with legal malpractice suits. [Miami Herald via ABA Journal]

* Sometimes ignoring something does make it better. [Ars Technica]

* From the inane adventures in social networking file: Poll on whether Obama should be killed leads to Facebook suspension and Secret Service investigation. [CNN]

* No one wants to prosecute this torture porn case. [Politico]

* The SCOTUS justices will be gazing out toward the Mojave desert this week. [Washington Post]

* An argument for reading the comments section at Above The Law. Cox Smith attorneys are three times as fun as Ballard Spahr’s. [Above The Law comments]

Ballard Spahr has revamped its website. It’s clean, it’s fresh, and it has lots of stock photos and little comment pop-ups. One ATL reader urged us to take a closer look:

You guys have to check out the new Ballard Spahr website, it is hysterical. Click on any attorney, there are two pictures, face and body. It looks like a model portfolio or comp card for actors.

We did some clicking in Ballard Spahr’s “People” section, and we can confirm there’s some amusement value to the head shots paired with full body shots.

While we perused, we wondered whether it’s reasonable to ask associates, special counsel, and partners to go beyond the head shot. Some looked happier about it than others. Check out some of our favorite Ballard body shots and take our poll, after the jump.

* Glen Beck’s World Intellectual Property Organization complaint. [The Legal Satyricon]

* Can businesses refuse to accept cold, hard, germ infested cash? [Legal Lad]

* Jurors can’t look up facts about the parties involved in a case by using Google. At what point will we just need an entirely new set of juror rules to deal with the information age? [Legal Blog Watch]

* Houston police are shooting more people. [Grits for Breakfast]

* Contract attorneys continue to get totally screwed as Biglaw refugees flood the market. [Temporary Attorney]

* What happens in Vegas … makes for a great Blawg Review.
[Legally Unbound via Blawg Review]

Are billing disputes between law firms and their clients on the rise in the recession? We feel like we’ve seen a lot of them lately.

The most recent disagreement involves Bingham McCutchen. A Boston-area investment company, Tuckerbrook Alternative Investments, has sued Bingham, claiming it was overcharged for legal services provided in connection with preparing an SEC registration statement.

The case isn’t that exciting — it seems like a garden-variety fee dispute — but this aspect struck us as interesting. From Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly (subscription):

The Sept. 16 complaint accuses Bingham of stacking the case with young associates who had “inadequate” experience. “The billing statements reflect that these junior lawyers in essence were enjoying the benefits of on-the-job-training at Tuckerbrook’s expense,” the complaint states.

So the allegation is that young lawyers were being trained on the client’s dime. But is that an indictment of Bingham McCutchen, or of the billable hour?

Grumpy in-house lawyers regularly complain about paying for the training of Biglaw’s junior associates. This is why some corporate counsel explicitly refuse to pay for first- and second-year associates (and provide for that in their retainer agreements; presumably Tuckerbrook could have done that here).

More news about Bingham, including its summer associate offer rate and its real estate needs in New York, after the jump.

We suppose it’s fitting that on Yom Kippur, when our Jewish friends are fasting at home, today’s Legal Eagle Wedding Watch is a total WASP-fest. (Last weekend was Rosh Hashanah, which explains the unusual dearth of Jewish nuptials in the NYT announcements.) We look forward to receiving plenty of tasteful feedback about how there are “too many gentiles” this week.

Here are your six finalists — all Biglaw associates, as it happens:

1. Elisabeth Madden and Wesley Mullen

2. Ann Parker and Robert McKeehan

3. Emily Harris and Matthew Mauney

Read all about these couples and evaluate their credentials, after the jump.

A tipster pointed us in the direction of Schulte Roth & Zabel’s Frequently Asked Questions page for its 2010 summer program. While other firms are canceling their 2010 summer programs entirely, Schulte seems quite optimistic about its summer program. Check out the firm’s answers to three key questions every 2L is wondering about:

Will you hire more summer associates than you expect to be able to make offers to?

We will hire the number of summer associates we want for our fall class starting in the fall of 2011.

What is your summer associate salary?

In 2009 summer our summer associates were paid a weekly salary of $3,077. The salary is based on the first-year associate annual salary of $160,000.

How many weeks will your 2010 Summer Program be?

Our 2010 summer program will be 11 weeks.

The 2009 summer program at Schulte was only eight weeks long. But the firm is already committing to an 11 week summer program for 2010. And at the firm is sticking to the $160K payscale, and it’s planning on making full offers.

Schulte Roth is ranked #77 on the most recent Vault list. Arent Fox — the firm that just revoked offers to a number of its incoming associates — is ranked #76.

People sitting on a summer offer from Schulte have to feel pretty good right now.

Earlier: Fall Recruiting Open Thread: Vault 71 - 80 (2010)

We’ve already mentioned the recent arrest of acclaimed film director Roman Polanski (pictured at right, with uber-hottie Adrien Brody). But it’s a slow news day controversial, so we’d like to give you a chance to discuss it in more depth.

Over at the WSJ Law Blog, Ashby Jones has a nice write-up. He explains the background:

The Oscar-winning film director was arrested on Sunday in Zurich on a 31-year-old warrant issued in the U.S. for having sex with a 13-year-old girl in 1977. Polanski was arrested, at the request of the United States, as he jetted into Switzerland to collect an award for his life’s work.

Local police arrested Polanski at the airport upon his arrival in Zurich, where he was to receive a lifetime-achievement award at the Zurich Film Festival. Polanski was jailed pending a decision on whether to extradite him to the U.S., according to the Swiss Justice Ministry….

Polanski fled the U.S. in 1978 after he pleaded guilty to having had sexual intercourse with girl — the allegation was that he gave the girl alcohol and part of a quaalude before raping her. Since then, he has lived in France, where he was born. French authorities refused to extradite him to the U.S., claiming that his crime didn’t fall under those covered by treaties between the two countries.

According to ABC News, which obtained comment from Polanski’s French lawyer, the director plans to fight extradition.

Should the authorities keep pursuing Polanski? Some pros and cons, plus a reader poll, after the jump.

The closer we get to the time when incoming associates in the class of 2009 are supposed to start, the more deferral extensions we are likely to see. Over the weekend, news broke that Chadbourne & Parke had decided to push back half of its incoming class “indefinitely.”

We don’t have any information about whether the incoming associates on extended deferral will be offered any type of extended stipend.

Update: A spokesperson from Chadbourne responded to Above the Law’s inquires about the continuing stipend:

These deferred associates have already received $13,000 and will receive an additional $60,000 stipend beginning in February 2010.

The news shouldn’t be entirely surprising for incoming associates at Chadbourne. The firm laid people off in March, and cut salaries in April.

And remember, last October, Chadbourne instituted a hiring freeze. At the time, we had a few questions for Chadbourne:

In light of this hiring freeze, what does that mean for students who interviewed with Chadbourne? Are they de-facto canceling their 2009 summer program? If so, it seems like an awful waste of resources to send recruiters around the country for jobs that are no longer available….

And, of course, we have no idea how this will affect 2008 summers associates. We assume that any of them who received and accepted offers for full time employment next fall still have those offers.

Note to self: never assume.

There seem to be two options that firms are following. After the jump, let’s look at the options and take a reader poll.

Do you have any friends who used to work with you at your Biglaw firm before moving on to a sweet in-house position? Do you complain to them about the financial problems at your firm?

If so, you should probably stop — because your colleagues turned clients really do not care about your problems. Bisnow hosted a conference about the future of the billable hour (gavel bang: ABA Journal). Washingtonian reports:

Michael Helfer, general counsel of CitiGroup and a panelist at the Bisnow event, put it bluntly when he said CitiGroup’s inhouse legal department has been reduced during the past few years by nearly 300 employees, many of whom were laid off. The lawyers who are left have had their compensation slashed by as much as 60 percent. Helfer says he’s consequently lost his patience for paying his company’s outside lawyers premium fees. “The amount of sympathy I have for the argument that $1,000 an hour is a reasonable rate … is nil.”

This is why firms like O’Melveny are putting together five-year strategic plans that contemplate alternative billing structures. But will these new fee arrangements still lead to enormous profits? Some D.C. details, after the jump.

Ed. note: Above the Law has teamed up with Law Shucks. Law Shucks has done excellent work translating all of the layoff news into user-friendly charts and graphs: the Layoff Tracker.

We draft this column by starting with the relevant articles from the past week in the legal sector, then tying in the broader economic data. We were quite happy to see that the law-firm layoff numbers this week were good - perfect, in fact - a week without layoffs for just the second time this year (the other was the week ending August 14).

And we weren’t the only ones pleasantly surprised. For the third straight week, initial jobless claims declined, down to 530,000 against an anticipated 550,000. Continuing claims also declined, but as we’ve said repeatedly, that seems to be more the result of benefits running out and people giving up (which means they no longer count as unemployed, in a bizarre example of government logic), than actual job creation.

After the jump, we turn to the legal sector.

* The laws for the holy day. [Houston Chronicle]

* “Like a lawyer, William Safire understood the voodoo involved in the use of language.” [Law and More]

* Has the law finally caught up with statutory rape convict and acclaimed film director Roman Polanski? [ABC News]

* The Kardashian-Odom marriage might be more of a symbolic union. [New York Post]

* A New York lawyer is accused of running an adoption Ponzi scheme. [Newsday]

* When it comes to pay, it’s better to be a state judge than a federal judge in California. [Los Angeles Times]

* K&L Gates chairman Peter Kalis advises would-be law school students to reconsider. [Wall Street Journal via ABA Journal]

Thanks to the over 3,000 people who voted in our ATL Caption Contest. We now have a winner. Many of the proposed captions associated the shovels and bare soil with grave-digging, specifically the grave of Biglaw in the current troubled economic climate. But the winning caption tapped into a more evergreen joke in the world of law: screwing the client.

Here’s the winner:

ASSOCIATE: There’s a backhoe right there. Wouldn’t that be more efficient?
PARTNER: F**k that. We get paid by the hour.

Hats off — or not off, rather — to Austin attorney George Lobb (at far right) for crashing this photo of legal dignitaries and giving us caption contest fodder. More on that story here.

Did lawyer crash courthouse groundbreaking photo? [Austin American-Statesman]

Earlier: ATL Caption Contest Finalists: We Dig This
ATL Caption Contest: We Dig This

* It looks like I pissed off Jezebel with my treatment of girl-on-girl sexual harassment. If men in my office constantly commented on how well endowed I am, I would feel humiliated. Humiliated by the easily recognizable size and power of my own manhood. [Jezebel]

* A complaint was thrown out of court for poor stapling. Yes, we live in a world where judges care about staples. [Legal Writing Prof Blog]

* Speaking of animal cruelty … [Courtoons]

* Tucker Max, hero of Duke. [Chicago Sun-Times]

* If Warren G can comment on Hank Paulson, surely Nate Dogg could comment on Sotomayor. [Dealbreaker]

Here’s an interesting question. How do we know that animals involved in bestiality don’t actually like it?

This question was recently on the mind of one New Jersey jurist. From the Philadelphia Daily News:

During a bizarre hearing [in Burlington County, NJ], a Superior Court judge dismissed animal-cruelty charges against a Moorestown police officer accused of sticking his penis into the mouths of five calves in rural Southampton in 2006, claiming a grand jury couldn’t infer whether the cows had been “tormented” or “puzzled” by the situation or even irritated that they’d been duped out of a meal.

“If the cow had the cognitive ability to form thought and speak, would it say, ‘Where’s the milk? I’m not getting any milk,’ ” Judge James J. Morley asked.

Got milk? Or milky discharge?

Children, Morley said, seemed “comforted” when given pacifiers, but there’s no way to know what bovine minds thought of Robert Melia Jr. substituting his member for a cow’s teat.

“They [children] enjoy the act of suckling,” the judge said. “Cows may be of a different disposition.”

In its weirdness, this is all very Ally McBeal-ish (although too explicit for that show).

So, how did the prosecutor feel about all of this?

The myth that IP boutiques would be immune from the recession has already been debunked. Today, a few more intellectual property lawyers came back down to earth with the rest of the legal industry.

Above the Law has obtained an internal memo from the IP firm Townsend and Townsend and Crew. The firm is cutting salaries:

All- After much deliberation and consideration of the various issues involved, including the thoughtful input of the associates, the Policy Committee has made the decision to restructure associate compensation for 2010 as follows:

1) The associate pay scale for 2010 will be adjusted so that starting salaries for first year associates will be $145,000.

2) The remaining scale will be:

Level 2: $ 160,000
Level 3: $ 170,000
Level 4: $ 185,000
Level 5: $ 210,000
Level 6: $ 225,000
Level 7: $ 240,000

But don’t get too attached to that lockstep system, Townsend associates. After the jump, we see that Townsend wants to join the cool kids hanging out behind the gym lighting lockstep on fire.

Last month, DLA Piper lost a prominent former lawmaker from its ranks when Dick Armey had to step down due to controversy over his remarks about healthcare reform. This week, DLA has a new Republican to tout: former U.S. Senator Mel Martinez.

Martinez, who hails from the Sunshine State, announced last month that he was ending his senatorial term early. From the BLT:

A Florida Republican and the first Cuban-American elected to the Senate, Martinez announced in August that he would resign with more than a year remaining on his first term, saying that “it’s time I return to Florida and my family.”

The BLT says Martinez will be a partner in DLA’s offices in both Washington and Tampa, though in DLA’s press release Martinez emphasizes the time he’ll be spending in Florida: “Working in DLA Piper’s offices in Florida, I look forward to helping the firm grow its practice in Latin America and collaborating with a team of distinguished lawyers and professionals with the highest level of legislative knowledge and diplomatic skill.”

Specifically, Martinez might want to help DLA Piper grow its practice in Cuba. When Martinez resigned from Congress, he told the Washington Post:

“Even though I will no longer hold public office, my passion to work to see the day when people in Cuba will live in freedom will continue,” he said.

Over at Politico, Kenneth Vogel discusses the quick jump from the Hill to the Piper.

We’re happy to report that Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who was hospitalized last night after feeling lightheaded, was released from Washington Hospital Center this morning. The famously hardworking jurist “was at her desk by early afternoon, the court said.”

Welcome back, Justice Ginsburg!

Justice Ginsburg Home From Hospital [AP]

Earlier: Breaking: Justice Ginsburg Hospitalized

It’s too early to take nominations for this year’s law revue contest. But an early contender will surely be a video we received from students at Boston College Law School. It’s a spoof of BC law professor Scott Fitzgibbon’s anti-gay marriage commercial. Here’s the set-up, from the BC Student Bar Review (that’s a social organization, for 1Ls still wondering what happens outside of the library):

Dear all,

The next bar review will begin at 8pm this Thursday, October 1 at The Kells…. We can hear some of you already: “but guyssssss, The Kells is full of meatheads in Red Sox hats.” Well, we’ve got a news flash for you, Little Lord Fauntleroy: every bar in Boston is full of meatheads in Red Sox hats, and very few of them have dance floors as spirited or drinks as reasonably priced as The Kells. We find it to be a great place to blow off some steam, get weird on the dance floor, and accost your TA from LLRW and force him to do shots of Jameson with you.

However, as Dean Garvey reminded us in his memo, we must be respectful of those who disagree with us, no matter their beliefs. In the spirit of providing equal time, we have included a brief video message from the opposition:

The Kells is the kind of place that makes you want to bathe yourself in lye when you wake up the next morning afternoon. Here’s what the loyal opposition has to say:

After the jump, would the real Professor Fitzgibbon please stand up?

As always, the Job of the Week is brought to you by our friends over at Lateral Link. Dallas should be looking for a new quarterback, but instead the city just looking for a new litigator. Although attorneys think things are bleak, Lateral Link tells us things are getting better — their team has sourced over 50 positions throughout the U.S. and Asia since Labor Day.

Position: Litigation Associates

Location: Dallas, TX (but the firm will consider attorneys relocating)

Description: The Dallas office of a prominent litigation boutique is seeking associates to join the firm’s broad litigation practice. The ideal candidate should have at least 3-8 years of experience in the field of complex litigation and dispute resolution. Candidates must possess a record of academic and personal achievement in addition to a commitment to excellence. Relocating attorneys will be considered.

For more information about this position, please contact Lateral Link’s Texas Director, Gary Cohen (gcohen@laterallink.com). Current Lateral Link members can also view Position #4945 on Lateral Link. Membership in Lateral Link is free, and you can apply at www.laterallink.com.

Ed. note: Have a question for next week? Send it in to advice@abovethelaw.com.

ATL -

I’m a 1L at a T14 law school in the midwest. I did my undergrad at the same school, but took a year off before I matriculated to law school. Some of my college friends are now 2Ls. It’s only been a little bit of time since I came back, but over the past year it looks like my former easy-going friends have turned into complete assholes. They’ve become obsessed about the “status” of our school. They are constantly complaining about jobs and money. And they never want to do anything unless it has a direct benefit to their GPAs or their résumés.

How did this happen? Is it the economy, or does law school just do this to people? I don’t want to become like them. Is there any hope for me?

Lone Ranger

Dear Lone Ranger,

The bitter lawyer is more than a stereotype and a website. It’s a way of life. Ever wonder what happened to all those bushy tailed, fashion-Keffiyeh-wearing Creative Writing majors that went to law school for Burmese asylum cases? They’re in the office next to you working on McDonald’s debt offerings and drafting in the passive voice, their will to live creativity successfully beaten out of them after years of getting points off for failing to cite every sentence and enduring Civil Procedure puns. Neither vicious persecution nor death could crush Anne Frank’s spirit, but then again, she never attended law school.

Since it’s certain that you’ll eventually join your friends at Club Bitter, the real question is, just how bitter will you become?

A graphical representation follows after the jump.

Could the nomination of Judge Denny Chin (S.D.N.Y.) to the Second Circuit be derailed by his ruling in Chiscolm v. Bank of America?

Click on the link below to read about this lawsuit filed by an irate customer (or purported customer) of the banking giant.

Area Man Has One Month To Prove Why Bank Of America Owes Him 1,784 Billion, Trillion Dollars [Dealbreaker]

Who says the wheels of government turn slowly? Earlier this month, we reminded you that Justice Department Honors Program applications were almost due. Now, three short weeks later, candidates are hearing back about interviews. Sources report:

“DOJ Honors interview notifications have gone out. I was fortunate enough to snare one in the Civil Division. You might want to put up an open thread for discussion.”

“Interview invites came out Wednesday, information about which component came out Thursday. Open thread?”

We aim to please. Here you go.

If interview notifications went out on Wednesday, was that ahead of schedule? According to the list of key dates on the Honors Program website, today is supposed to be the day that the DOJ “notifies candidates selected for interviews by e-mail.”

Feel free to discuss the Honors Program interview process — which components you’re interviewing with, what you’d like to know about the process, or what you already know about the process (for those of you who have been through it) — in the comments.

The Attorney General’s Honors Program [U.S. Department of Justice]
AG’s Honors Program Key Dates [U.S. Department of Justice]

Earlier: Reminder: DOJ Honors Program Applications Are Almost Due
Open Thread: The DOJ Is Hiring Again …
Fall Recruiting Open Thread: DOJ Honors Program

This Sunday marks Michael Vick’s official return to the National Football League—an event that has been widely criticized by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (“PETA”), as well as some sports writers and doggie bloggers.

What those who criticize NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell for reinstating Vick fail to understand, however, is that the NFL may have ultimately lacked any real choice. Had the NFL not reinstated Vick, Vick could have potentially filed an antitrust lawsuit against the 32 NFL clubs for concertedly refusing to deal with him. Even though such a lawsuit would have likely failed in the Second and Seventh Circuits (due to the holdings respectively in the Clarett and American Needle cases), a lawsuit against the NFL clubs would have likely gotten to a jury in the Third, Sixth, Eighth and D.C. Circuits—all places where professional athletes have previously won large antitrust settlements.

As a quick background in antitrust law, Section 1 of the Sherman Act, in pertinent part, states that “[e]very contract, combination … or conspiracy in the restraint of trade or commerce … is declared to be illegal.” Although most Section 1 claims involve restraints of trade related to product markets, the Sherman Act likewise prohibits restraints in labor markets, as long as these restraints occur outside of the proper workings of a collective bargaining agreement (“non-statutory labor exemption”).

Courts in general determine whether a particular restraint violates Section 1 of the Sherman Act in three steps. First, courts will determine whether a particular restraint emerges from a “contract, combination or … conspiracy” among two or more parties. Next, they will determine whether the restraint yields a net anticompetitive effect to consumers. Finally, they will assess whether any antitrust exemption would negate the finding of liability.

After the jump, how might a court weigh these factors?

* Paul G. Kirk is America’s interim, new filibuster busting Senator. [New York Times]

* Apparently, Kirsten Dunst isn’t the most powerful witness. Why didn’t her lawyers just give her a script? [New York Post]

* McKool Smith expands its New York office space. [Am Law Daily]

* A New York lawyer received a glowing recommendation in the Daily News. “[Joseph] Tacopina is the kind of lawyer who makes you want to get into trouble so he can defend you.” Long live trial lawyers. [Daily News]

* I learned a new word: Superfetation. It means “I don’t know when to stop procreating.” [Trans World News]

* If you are a pilot and you are stalking somebody, isn’t it natural that you’d do it from your plane? [CNN]

In February of this year, Senator Jim Bunning predicted that Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg would be dead in nine months from pancreatic cancer. It was a horrible and tasteless prediction, for which Senator Bunning apologized.

But might he be right? Here’s the latest news about Justice Ginsburg’s health. From the Associated Press:

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was hospitalized Thursday after becoming ill in her office at the court following treatment for an iron deficiency.

The 76-year-old justice, who underwent surgery for pancreatic cancer in February, was taken to Washington Hospital Center at 7:45 p.m. EDT as a precaution, a statement from the court said.

Here at Above the Law, we’ve reviewed a lot of employment discrimination complaints over the years. But this one is special.

The firm (like it matters):

Maron Marvel Bradley & Anderson.

The plaintiff:

Jennifer Braude.

Why you care:

Do I have your attention? Click after the jump for more details, plus Maron Marvel’s response.

* David Lat, Tony Mauro, and Matt Welch discuss how the new media covers the law. [Legal Blog Watch]

* The 25 “most dangerous” colleges in America. Yes, of course Yale is on this list! [Tax Prof Blog]

* Muammar Gaddafi has some thoughts on international law. [Miss Trials]

* Ladies, “flaunting your curves” does get you noticed. I’m not sure if that is a good thing. [Adjunct Law Prof Blog]

* Complicated laws v. Simple laws. [The Volokh Conspiracy]

* A Red Sox fan was allowed to temporarily leave jail to see a Red Sox game. This bears repeating: post the second, 2007 championship, there is no difference between Sox fans and Yankee fans. None. You’ve become what you beheld and your children will never know the joy of rooting for an underdog. [Yahoo]

Dorsey & Whitney’s managing partner, Marianne D. Short, was making the rounds in the Minneapolis office yesterday, talking to associates there about the future of the firm.

That future might be one without lockstep compensation. A source reports:

[T]he firm [suggested] it was restructuring our compensation. They did not give us any specific details. But, it seems likely that this will result in another large pay cut for associates. While hazy on the details, Dorsey management indicated that the restructuring will be something like this: we will be given a base pay rate which will be below market (whatever that means these days, but regardless, likely well below what we are currently making after our 10% pay cut), which will be supplemented by a ‘bonus’ if we make our hours to bring compensation up to market.

Alright, slow down. While it does appear that Short broached the subject with associates in Dorsey’s Minneapolis office, it appears that there are still a lot of evaluations and reviews that will have to take place at Dorsey before any final decision is made. It is premature to speculate about what kind of new base salary the firm might offer.

But it does look like the firm is considering a new system. We have statements from the firm and more from our tipsters, after the jump.

The Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN) is fighting back thanks to Maryland’s “Linda Tripp Law.”

For those of you that have been living under a rock, James O’Keefe and Hannah Giles posed as a pimp and prostitute to dupe ACORN employees. The two shot hidden camera footage that showed two (former) ACORN employees giving tax advice on how to run a brothel to the unsavory couple.

ACORN and their former workers are suing O’Keefe, Giles, and conservative blogger Andrew Breitbart - who posted the video on his website — under Maryland’s wiretapping laws. The law states that both parties must consent to an audio recording, and was used to indict Linda Tripp during the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal.

ACORN is seeking a lot of money in this lawsuit. Hey, now that Congress has cut off their funding the money has to come from somewhere. The AP reports:

The lawsuit claims the video damaged ACORN’s reputation and asks for injunctions barring its further broadcast or distribution. It seeks $2 million in compensatory damages — $1 million for ACORN and $500,000 for each of the two former employees — as well as $1 million in punitive damages from each of the three defendants.

As one tipster put it:

I read the basis for the law suit and vomited a little in my mouth.

It’s not that O’Keefe and Giles have clean hands here, but the “optics” of this lawsuit are pretty bad for ACORN. Let’s look at this in more detail after the jump.

We have done a lot of reporting on firms that have deferred their incoming class, and then extended the deferral period. At some firms, it has been an indefinite deferral extension.

So give Arent Fox a little bit of credit. Instead of continuing to string the class of 2009 along, the firm has cried “no más” and just revoked offers to several of its incoming associates.

Arent Fox has confirmed to Above the Law that it has decided to revoke offers to some 2009 graduates who have not yet started at the firm. The firm is giving them $20,000 for the inconvenience of believing they had already successfully secured post-graduate employment.

Maybe Arent Fox read Morning Docket today. We linked to a story in the Atlantic that asked why firms were doing deferrals instead of revoking offers outright.

There has been much gnashing of teeth and rending of garments by would-be Arent Fox first years on Facebook this morning. But we think this comment on a status update captures the general feeling:

I just sent them an envelope with powder in it. Don’t worry, I wore a ski mask when I walked to the mailbox so they can’t trace me.

Please, Arent Fox friends, do not blow your $20K on terrorist activities. Instead stock up on Ramen and a buy a good sleeping bag. It’s going to be a long winter.

UPDATE: We assume the Facebook commenter was joking. Clearly. The wearing a ski mask to the mailbox line is clear parody.

FURTHER UPDATE: Arent Fox Chairman Marc Fleischaker shared some numbers with the BLT:

In all, Fleischaker said, about 12 incoming associates were affected. Washington, which has the firm’s largest office, had “about eight,” New York had “between two and three,” and Los Angeles had one, Fleischaker said. The news was first reported on Above the Law.

Read Arent Fox’s full statement after the jump.

If you’re looking for options beyond Biglaw, we’re here to help. We continue our series of open threads covering small law firms focused on different practice areas. To see the fields we’ve covered so far, click here and scroll down.

We’ve received encouraging feedback from readers — and suggestions. Like this one:

I really like the small firm series you’re running, and I’m hoping you can make the next post about real estate law. I know there are lots of high-end boutiques specializing in commercial real estate out there, and I’m curious about what kind of hours they work and what kind of money the junior to midlevel associates make.

My current practice area involves long and very unpredictable hours, but I’m pretty junior, so I can still switch into another area. Real estate is at the top of my “escape options” list because I’ve heard that, even at larger firms, real estate involves less stress and fewer hours than litigation or corporate.

Is this true? Is real estate really free of “fire drills”?

Readers, can you provide information for our correspondent? If you can, please contribute to this open thread about REAL ESTATE LAW.

Some half-baked musings to start the conversation, after the jump.

We received over 1300 responses to last week’s Career Center survey on how lawyers feel about their careers in light of the recession.  Despite economists’ encouraging words about the light at the end of the tunnel, respondents across the country remain deeply concerned for themselves and the legal industry as a whole.  Although the economy has pulled out of its tailspin, recovering financial institutions and businesses are no longer generating the same level of legal work they once did, making it extremely difficult for major corporate law firms to stage their own comebacks.  With business stagnating, several major law firms have gone out of business , and waves of layoffs have left thousands of big firm attorneys without jobs and countless others thinking they could be cut next. Check out the Career Center, powered by Lateral Link, for more on which firms are starting to recover from the downturn and which firms continue to struggle.

Check out the survey results, after the jump.

Did you apply to DePaul College of Law? Ever? If you ever thought you wanted to attend DePaul — regardless of whether you decided to go somewhere else or are now a practicing attorney — the school has received your application!

Yesterday, hundreds of former DePaul applicants, many of whom are now out of school, received the following email:

We have received the electronic submission of your application for admission to DePaul University College of Law. We have requested your Law School Credential Assembly Service (LSDAS) report from the Law School Admission Council. Please note that we will not begin to review applications until mid-November. At that time, we will notify you if we have any questions or require any additional information to complete your application. At that time, we also will notify you by email when your application is complete and ready for review by our Admission Committee. Once your application is complete, you can expect to receive a decision from the Admission Committee within 2-3 weeks of the completion date.

Thank you for your application to DePaul University College of Law.

Some of the people who received this email were five years removed from sending out law school applications.

Obviously, a major glitch occurred at DePaul. But how did DePaul even have accurate email addresses for so many students that never went to the school? Seriously, just how long does DePaul keep your personal information?

The school responds after the jump.

Ed. note: Welcome to the latest installment of “Notes from the Breadline,” a column by a laid-off lawyer in New York. Prior columns are collected here. You can reach Roxana St. Thomas by email (at roxanastthomas@gmail.com), follow her on Twitter, or find her on Facebook.

One time, early in my stint in the breadline, I interviewed for a position at a New York non-profit organization. The interview, with members of the organization’s steering committee, was held at the plush offices of a Wall Street law firm - a setting so genteel, so prim, that I immediately felt underdressed despite my perfectly respectable interview suit and conservative heels. All the women who passed through the reception area were wearing knee-length skirt suits and pantyhose; the men looked as though they had come from a photo shoot for Brooks Brothers. The walls were hung with portraits of stately, gray-haired firm elders, hunting scenes, and graceful horses who, I suspected, had pedigrees much more distinguished than my own. I was reading a tattered copy of the previous week’s New Yorker while I waited, and I remember feeling sheepishly self-conscious — both because I hadn’t gotten through a lengthy article about Iceland’s post-financial crash identity, and because I wasn’t reading something … weightier, like The Economist, or the Harvard Business Review.

How, you ask, did I have time to read, reflect, and observe a cross-section of the firm’s personnel? Well, friends: when you spend 45 minutes perched on an uncomfortable settee, waiting for your name to be called, there is little else to do. Eventually, of course, I did make it into the conference room where the interview was being held; once there, I was greeted by five lawyers, all of whom were talking at once. To each other. In fact, I found myself wondering, at various junctures, whether they were aware that I had joined them. One lawyer asked me a complicated question and then (without skipping a beat) answered his ringing cell phone and had a lengthy conversation. I tried to shift focus seamlessly by turning to address the others, but two of them were BlackBerrying while another listened to voicemail messages. When I finally stood up to say my goodbyes, they told me that they were impressed with my qualifications and hoped that I could come back to meet with the members of the steering committee who had been unable to make it to the interview that day. “That would be great!” I said enthusiastically. Perhaps, I mused, given the general level of attentiveness I had observed, they were hoping to organize a flag football scrimmage, and simply needed a few more people to work with (as well as a captive audience, or a referee).

As a new arrival to the breadline, this experience left me with a few thoughts. Among them were, “Are interviews always this suck-ass, or was this a freakish anomaly?” and “Is there a sliver lining in all of this?” Like a convoluted legal argument, the answer to the latter of these questions resolves the first inquiry as well. As I have discovered in the intervening months, there is not a single “silver lining” in all of this, but many, including: freedom from the oppressive sartorial conventions of the workplace, the luxury of dropping by Lat’s office for a mid-day drink from the coffee fountain, and the (admittedly mixed) blessing of life in a lower tax bracket. These perks, however, pale in comparison to one, particularly luminous reward, which I consider the most spangly of all silver linings.

And what might that be?

* Judge Richard Posner of the Seventh Circuit has turned Keynesian. [New Republic via Blackbook Legal]

* ‘Law & Order’ will tie ‘Gunsmoke’ this year for longest-running prime-time drama on television, but Dick Wolf is annoyed to have to move aside for Jay Leno. [Los Angeles Times]

* What’s the point of law firm deferrals? Written with lots of “expert sources” in the form of Daniel Indiviglio’s lawyer and law student friends. [Atlantic]

* Did you hear? The worst of the recession is over for law firms! [Law Society Gazette via ABA Journal]

* ACORN has filed a $2 million lawsuit against two conservative activists who secretly filmed its employees giving a pimp tax advice. ACORN says the video violates Maryland’s Wiretap Law. That’s nuts! [Courthouse News Service]

* There’s a deep bench at Harvard Law to fill Kennedy’s Senate seat. [ABA Journal]

Last week, we gave you this photo of a bunch of legal types and asked you to submit possible captions:

You did not disappoint. We have chosen our ten favorite captions. Check them out and vote for the best one, after the jump.

* Will the web make “brick and mortar” law schools irrelevant? [Law and More]

* Can lawyers use Twitter for business development? Prove it. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Australia is using Interpol tactics to screen hotel guests.I hope this comes to America so I will have an air tight excuse for never leaving NYC again. [Transracial]

* I wonder if Bill Clinton could get a legal job in this market. [What About Clients?]

* One thousand posts about drugs (and devices) and the law is pretty awesome. Congratulations. [Drug and Device Law]

* Amicus briefs from the Solicitor General. [SCOTUSblog]

* Milk goes green. [Halogen Life]

Yesterday, we mentioned that attorneys in the great city of Pittsburgh are worried about being confused with corporate elites during the G-20 summit. I was skeptical whether the dress code advice given to K&L Gates attorneys would actually help people avoid the scorn of protesters.

So we kicked the question to our friends at Fashionista. Here are some suggestions on what female attorneys should be wearing in the ‘Burgh this week:

My first thought for the ladies was to definitely keep it simple: a dark fitted jean (I’m currently obsessed with my “Curvy” style from the 1969 collection at the Gap), maybe a cool not suit-y black blazer, with a striped tee underneath and a simple black boot. Subtle, professional, but not too corporate lackey.

Or throw in a little retro vibe plus color, like this look from Chris Benz. Maybe I’m wrong, but brights don’t scream Big Law to me. The other option I came up with was to go luxe boho, like you’re part of the professional counterculture, if you will. Maybe something along the lines of this Anna Sui print with some black tights and a slouchy bag.

Click over to Fashionista for advice for the fellas. Or check out what their couture conscious commenters have to say about the conundrum.

Okay, I’m out of alliterative examples. Hop on the hyperlink below.

A Sartorial Conundrum [Fashionista]

Earlier: K&L Gates Tells Lawyers to Go Incognito During G20 Summit

Tuesday and Wednesday, offers went out to people who want to participate in Skadden’s summer program. We haven’t heard any solid numbers yet, but so far it appears that prospective summers are satisfied with the results.

No news is good news regarding Skadden. In August, Skadden announced that it would be cutting its summer hiring in half. This morning, Bloomberg News reminded everybody that Skadden will be trying to keep its summer numbers down:

The stark reality of the legal marketplace was illustrated by yesterday’s 2010 job offers by Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom LLP, the highest-grossing U.S. law firm. It projected a 50 percent cut in summer hiring, said Howard Ellin, the recruiting partner for Skadden. The firm hired 225 students this summer and plans to hire less than half that for summer 2010.

But just because Skadden plans to reduce hiring does not mean the firm intends to reduce its offer rate. If the firm planned this right — and based on the NALP forms it looks like it has — Skadden could have simply invited fewer people to be part of its 2010 summer program. Skadden could still give a robust offer rate to the summers that did commit to the firm.

Hopefully, everything will work out for prospective Skadden summers.

After the jump, Bloomberg has some interesting data on how this year’s fall recruiting is going at a couple of top law schools.

So, it’s possible that the Mayor of New York City, Michael Bloomberg, has a low grade eating disorder. A New York Times expose chronicles the Mayor’s body image issues:

As a billionaire in one of the dining capitals of the world, he can eat anything he wants. But he is obsessed with his weight — so much so that the sight of an unflattering photo of himself can trigger weeks of intense dieting and crankiness, according to friends and aides.

Okay, so the Mayor’s skin isn’t quite as thick as mine. But having just acknowledged that Bloomberg can be put into an anorexic state by looking at pictures of himself, what does the Times do? It runs a full slide show of him doing nothing but eating. As our friends at Dealbreaker put it:

Basically Hizzoner binge and purges constantly and on really bad days looks in the mirror and thinks “you don’t deserve a third term because you’re a fat fat fattie fat.” The crescendo of the piece is the accompanying slideshow, entitled “The Mayor In Snack Mode,” in which the Gray Lady presents us with close ups of Mikey Boy literally shoving food in his mouth (chicken wings? pizza? don’t mind if I do!) …

Is the Times going out of its way to hurt the Mayor’s feelings? Are they subtly endorsing Bill Thompson? The last thing local restaurateurs need is a cranky billionaire with political power on the war path against calories. Bloomberg’s emotional distress could spell the ruin of the NYC economy.

Under The Right Conditions, Imagine How Masterfully This Guy Could Massacre A Food Eating Challenge [Dealbreaker]
Mayor Doesn’t Always Live by His Health Rules [New York Times]

It’s been a while since we’ve had any news about how legal secretaries and staffs are weathering the recession. Well, at least no news that pertains to secretaries who are potty trained and don’t care about CHARACTER. To the extent that firms are still looking to make cuts, it feels like they are more focused on more long term moves.

But that doesn’t mean that the domain of the legal secretary is drenched in milk and honey. Yesterday, Wilson Sonsini informed its staff that it was instituting a salary freeze:

To: Staff Employees From: [Wilson Sonsini] Date: September 22, 2009 Re: Staff Salaries

Earlier this year, in the midst of an uncertain global economic situation, the firm implemented a salary freeze for associates. The firm always has managed expenses carefully, and we’ve taken an even more cautious approach during the current downturn to ensure that our business remains strong and well positioned for the future. While there are early signs that the recession may be easing, it’s also clear that economic recovery will take some time. Given these factors, it is important to continue our fiscally conservative approach, and therefore the firm is extending the salary freeze to staff at this time.

Thank you for your understanding, and for your continued commitment to the firm.

Wait, Wilson Sonsini hadn’t frozen staff salaries already? Tipsters weigh in after the jump.

As previously mentioned in these pages, your above-signed scribe has been named a Legal Rebel — one of “50 leading innovators” in the legal profession, as selected by the ABA Journal.

The profile, written by Rachel Zahorsky, appears here. For more background on the Legal Rebels project, see our prior post, or the Legal Rebels website.

Through the Legal Rebels team, we were given the opportunity to meet and interview a longtime idol of ours: Steven Brill, founder of the American Lawyer and Court TV (and a fellow Yale Law School graduate). Brill’s latest project is Journalism Online, which “is pioneering the effort to make the transition to a paid online model successful for publishers and easy for readers.”

You can check out the video of our interview with Steve Brill here, or read about it at the ABA Journal.

David Lat: Gossip at Law [Legal Rebels / ABA Journal]
David Lat Interviews Steve Brill [Legal Rebels / ABA Journal]
Ever the Tough Editor, Am Law Founder Hits Publication’s Websites [ABA Journal]

P.S. Elsewhere in shameless plugs: if you’re in D.C. and don’t have anything more exciting to do tonight, head over to Georgetown Law for a discussion of new media and the law. The panel will feature yours truly, Tony Mauro from the National Law Journal, and Matt Welch from Reason Magazine. Eileen O’Connor, former reporter and bureau chief at CNN, will moderate.

Earlier: Maverick Law: The ABA Journal’s ‘Legal Rebels’
Mr. Lat Goes to Washington

We all know about the difficult legal job market facing current law students. But is it so bad that J.D. candidates would have been better off never going to law school in the first place?

At Columbia Law School — the fourth best law school in the country according to U.S. News — is suggesting that job seekers crash the undergraduate job fair. A tipster puts it this way:

Recruiting is bad this year, as you know, but CLS is just highlighting it by recommending we attend an UNDERGRADUATE career fair. It says it is open to all, and that is true, but when you look at the actual companies and organizations coming to the career fair the vast majority require only a bachelors, and none want a law degree specifically. Great to know that $200k+ and 3 years of lost opportunity cost can leave you in the same position as if you never went in the first place.

Isn’t having a J.D. supposed to enhance your job prospects?

Let’s have a look at this email, after the jump.

A quick word of thanks to this week’s advertisers on Above the Law:

* New role for the Justice Department: Keeper of secrets (or not). [Washington Post]

* California AG Jerry Brown is going after one of Madoff’s friends in the golden state. [Courthouse News Service and American Lawyer]

* Ben Roethlisberger’s lawyers want a Nevada court to sanction the attorney who brought rape charges against the Steelers quarterback. [The Huddle/USA Today]

* An E.U. court deals a blow to the environment. [New York Times]

* Google responds to the Justice Department’s concerns and will edit its Digital Books settlement. [The Recorder]

* The Patent Troll Tracker case finally settles. [IP Law & Business]

Here at ATL, we’ve received many, many emails about “no offers.” We’ve provided extensive coverage and open threads galore.

The general message conveyed in these comments and emails is that firms somehow “owe” full-time, post-graduation employment to their summer associates. Under this line of thinking, once firms invite law students to spend a summer with them, they’re inviting them to move in after graduation.

That line of thinking is very 2006.

Times have changed, kids. In 2006, bright law students were hot and desirable; all the firms wanted to get into bed with them. Law students today, however, are like single women over 35. They’re desperate — and firms are warier of committing to them.

Perhaps law students should be thankful that firms want to date them at all. Let’s consider the evidence.

Last week, we wrote about federal judge Stephen Larson’s decision to step down from the bench because of unrequited salary longings. He said his salary of $169,300 was not enough to support his family. We’re skeptical of a six-figure salary not being enough to support a family, but Larson does have seven kids and lives in Los Angeles, so it may not be entirely ridiculous.

Plus, his salary would be much more likely to keep pace with seven future college tuition bills if he were making the big bucks as a Biglaw partner. His resignation led us to ask if judges really are underpaid. We threw the question to you via a poll. ATL readers were torn: 52% of voters said judges are underpaid, while 48% of voters said they’re not underpaid.

Ashby Jones at the WSJ Law Blog weighed in on judicial pay (and recounted a story about how a judge screwed him over when he was a law student interviewing for clerkships). Jones points out:

[I]t’s unreasonable, in all likelihood, to expect that federal judges should make what the average BigLaw partner makes. But it also strikes me as unfortunate that the federal bench should lose Larson, who presided over the recent dispute between Mattel and MGA Entertainment over the rights to the Bratz doll (and, incidentally, a judge I’ve heard to be exceptionally hard-working) over financial issues.

If judges were to make more, how much are we talking? The SCOTUS justices make just over $200,000, with John Roberts raking in $217,400. Should all judges be making that much? It is public service — are the rewards of respect and being called “your honor” enough to make up for the salary shortfall?

On Friday, we mentioned that Harvard Law School took on Sullivan & Cromwell over how long to firm would hold open offers for summer associates. It was a good show by HLS.

But the question of what 2Ls should do if they get multiple summer associate offers remains open. Earlier, we suggested that instead of just holding open an offer while they mull it over, we suggested that 2Ls affirmatively accept all of the offers they receive. Later — once the 2Ls have had time to make a considered and wise decision based on relevant financial information about the law firms — 2Ls can call up their firms and revoke the agreement to summer with a particular firm. Hey what is good for the goose is good for the gander, right?

Apparently, bloggers out at U.C. Berkeley disagree. From the Nuts & Boalts blog:

Harvard’s Dean impressed me, and ATL’s advice disgusts me. Boalties: don’t hoard offers. If you have more than one opportunity at your door, it’s time to start making decisions, because the earlier you decline an offer the more likely it will redound to one of your peers.

Whoa. Above the Law-2008 just called, and they want their open thread back.

* We all need to be thrifty these days, so this question has to be asked. Is it okay to take away leftovers from a business lunch or dinner? [Corporette]

* A wanna-be reality star is suing the reality show producer for being mocked. I think I’d have more sympathy for an ax murderer. [True/Slant]

* How should a young lawyer handle the indefinite deferral offered by Alston & Bird. [Young Lawyers Blog]

* Even Plato would be disrespecting BC Law Professor Scott Fitzgibbon. [Law Librarian Blog]

* If a mandate to purchase health care would be constitutional under current interpretations of the commerce clause, does that mean we should change the interpretation of the commerce clause? [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Taking over Blawg Review is just step one in a diabolical plan.
[Unsilent Partners via Blawg Review]

Mental note: Do not mess with lawyers in South Carolina. Don’t believe me? Just read the Charlotte Observer:

Conway Attorney Irby Walker was charged today with trying to hire someone to kill another attorney, according to police.

Walker, 58, was charged with solicitation of a felony after Doug Thornton told police Sept. 11 that Walker had made threats against his life and believed he was trying to follow through on those threats, according to Horry County police Lt. Jamie DeBari.

According to The Sun News, the going price to take down a fellow member of the bar is $10,000.

Really? I mean, who can even afford that in this economy?

Irby Walker’s attorney responded to the charges with the Chewbacca defense:

“I know there’s some bad blood between [Walker and Thornton], but this entire thing defies comprehension, and I suggest it is illogical,” said Walker’s attorney, George McMaster, during the hearing. “He didn’t get a gun, he didn’t go try to go shoot somebody, he’s probably not capable of shooting somebody.”

Police: S.C. lawyer plotted to hire killer [Charlotte Observer]
Police: Lawyer sought hitman to kill rival [The Sun News]

David W. Glasser, a local attorney in Daytona Florida, received a major benchslap from U.S. District Judge Gregory Presnell. It is short, it is sweet, and it appears entirely deserved. Here’s the order from the court. Glasser is the plaintiff’s lawyer:

This matter came before the Court without oral argument upon consideration of Plaintiff’s, Carolyn Nault (“Plaintiff”), Response to this Court’s Order and Motion for Voluntary Dismissal (collectively, the “Motion”) (Docs. 21 and 22). Upon review, it is

ORDERED that the Motion is DENIED without prejudice for failing to comply with
Local Rule 3.01(g), for failing to secure a stipulation of dismissal from Defendant pursuant to FED.R. CIV. 41(a)(ii), and for otherwise being riddled with unprofessional grammatical and typographical errors that nearly render the entire Motion incomprehensible.

Ouch.

Just for good measure, Judge Presnell also ordered Glasser to show the judge’s order to his client:

It is FURTHER ORDERED that Plaintiff’s counsel, David W. Glasser, shall re-read the Local Rules and the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure in their entirety. Furthermore, Mr. Glasser shall personally hand deliver a copy of this Order, together with the Court’s exhibit attached thereto, to his client, Carolyn Nault, by no later than Monday, September 21, 2009. By no later than Wednesday, September 23, 2009, Mr. Glasser shall file with the Court a “Notice of Compliance,” certifying to the Court that he has fully complied with this Order.

DONE and ORDERED in Chambers, Orlando, Florida on September 15, 2009.

The “exhibit attached thereto” is presumably the judge’s corrected copy of Glasser’s memo. Let’s check it out after the jump.

Supreme Court clerks continue to flood the NYT wedding pages this month, creating grim LEWW odds for mere-mortal Cornell grads and Skadden associates. Like Troy playing Florida or North Texas playing Alabama, these folks are welcome to suit up, but the only question is how bad their whuppin’ is going to hurt.

Here are your three finalist couples for the week:

1. Rebecca Mancuso and Andrew Brunswick

2. Erin Gustafson and David Curtiss

3. Kathleen Devine and David Newman

Evaluate these newlyweds, after the jump.

But for the state of Illinois, New York State would be receiving more national recognition for its state political situation. Even the President is embarrassed by the performance of New York Governor David Paterson.

Perhaps Paterson’s chances of beating Andrew Cuomo, or Rudolph Giuliani, or the Naked Cowboy are depressed because of stories like these. From the New York Post:

Gov. Paterson’s former economic-development czar, Avi Schick, stepped down from his post at the helm of the Empire State Development Corp. in January — but, astonishingly, continued to quietly draw his $213,000 annual salary for eight more months, The Post has learned.

Schick, who has close ties to Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver, managed to hang on to his full salary — more than what the governor earns — in return for advising Paterson on lower Manhattan issues, said ESDC spokesman Warner Johnston.

In case you’re wondering, Sheldon Silver is essentially the most powerful state official left in New York State, owing to his ability to perform his duties at a basically competent level. That is a rarity in Albany.

But how did Avi Schick’s state salary become exposed? Details after the jump.

We trumpeted the terrible performance turned in by the state of Florida on the February bar exam. So it’s only fair that we give you sunshine staters a chance to talk about the July bar exam. The results were posted today.

Bar results are out, all three major Florida college football teams are ranked in the Top 25, it’s shaping up to be a pretty good week down there.

Bar Exam Results [Florida Supreme Court]

Earlier: What’s Up with the Flori-duh February Bar Exam?

Deidre Dare is one of our favorite laid-off lawyers. She was working in Russia for Allen & Overy, and decided to pen a salacious online novel about her expat adventures. The literary critics at A&O were not pleased with the novel, which featured lots of drinking, sex, drugs, donkeys, and dwarves.

After she lost her job at Allen & Overy, she sued the firm.

Dare’s still in Moscow, where she pens a column for the Moscow News called sExpat. Recently, she wrote that money is tight and that she’s considering various options to increase her cash flow. Among some of her proposals are robbing banks, becoming a jewel thief, blackmailing someone, or prostituting herself. From the Moscow News:

Now, when I decided to go into the law, I wanted to take an expensive preparatory course for the law school admissions test. At the time, I was suffering severe “cash flow problems” and I asked my father to pay for the course, which he refused to do, considering it a waste of money. So, in order to raise the cash, I decided to become a “high class” whore.

I’d heard that this was something pretty Ivy League students sometimes did for money.

Sometimes the non-Ivy types do it too. So what are Dare’s rates?

The contest of horror between the class of 2009 and the class of 2010 rages on. Based on Friday’s no offer thread, you’d think that the class of 2010 was surging ahead. We know 3L recruiting is depressed this year, so if you got no offered from your summer firm, your chances of snagging a job upon graduation seem greatly reduced.

But there are still scads of people from the class of 2009 that are desperately hoping that they will be able to start at some point. We have been covering the new spate of deferral extensions. Usually, the extensions try to comfort incoming associates that they will have a job with their firms at some point.

But lately, firms are being more forward with the class of 2009. Last week, Baker & McKenzie warned that if it was not able to find spots for incoming associates by June 2010, “the relationship will end.”

Today, Alston & Bird incoming associates received some bad news. A tipster reports:

Alston Bird just indefinitely deferred its incoming 2009 class … They were supposed to start January 2010. There is now no start date.

Alston & Bird didn’t immediately respond to our request for comment.

So, if 3L recruiting is bad this year, how is it going for 4Ls 2009 graduates who haven’t had a day of work so far? Is there anything their former law schools can do to help them out?

We’ll probably see more deferral extensions as the January 2010 start date looms large at firms that do not have enough work to go around.

Earlier: Baker & McKenzie: For Some, Deferral Extensions Could Lead to Offer Revocation

Friday afternoon, we brought you the story of a law student who was allegedly dating pop star Rihanna. The rumor was posted on the blog Bossip. But the student, Janero Marchand, vehemently denied the rumor on his twitter account.

We posted some of Janero’s tweets in our story on Friday. Predictably, Above the Law commenters constructed an entire caricature of Janero’s intellectual prowess based on those few tweets. This was one common commenter message:

From his tweets, I don’t think legal writing will be his strong point.

Others pointed out the dangers of tweeting in a difficult job market:

I think he should provide a link to his twitter page on his resume when he does 2L recruiting.

Bossip also took the opportunity to take extra shots at Janero. After we pointed out Marchand’s denial, Bossip offered this reasoning:

According to a new source Rihanna’s “alleged” man whose former name was Aaron may be gay. Which could explain his hasty response to our story and the tweet from Dollicia denying their relationship as well.

Jesus. The scorn of ATL and wild accusations from Bossip? It’s been a pretty exciting September for this 1L. After the jump, Janero Marchand responds to Above the Law.

[Ed. note: This post is authored by Evan Jowers and Robert Kinney of Kinney Recruiting, sponsor of the Asia Chronicles. Kinney has made more placements of U.S. associates and partners in Asia than any other firm in the past two years. You can reach them by email: asia at kinneyrecruiting dot com.]

Evan here, writing from Miami, working from home base on the beach for a two week stay sandwiched between hectic Europe (London and Warsaw, of all places) and Asia (Hong Kong, Singapore and Beijing) trips. I will return to our Hong Kong offices for a few weeks starting this weekend and will also be in NYC for a couple of days this week.

Robert will be in HK next week as well. It is the third extensive China trip since June for both Robert (who also had a recent Europe trip) and me. Of course, Alexis, our resident HK recruiter, will be in town as usual. We have a packed schedule of mostly prospective partner candidate and law firm meetings on tap. We are also in town to help close a few placements and help with current interviews. It is probably going to be too busy to take the usual fun side trip (Bali or Thailand) this time around.

It has been a nice couple of weeks for our Asia team, with 5 of the US associate candidates for whom I was responsible being placed in HK / China (3 at firms, 2 in-house). I expect another associate candidate to be placed this week. Further, several of us are very close on partner placements in HK (in addition to successes in our other markets, which has also accelerated of late). Daniel Roark, our newest recruiter to become involved in our Asia business appears likely to close a very nice partner placement in China alongside Alexis Lamb. Our St. Petersburg, Russia and Miami based recruiter, Yuliya Vinokurova, is close on a couple of associate placements in Tokyo (the Russia biglaw lateral market remains extremely slow, but we remain very committed to that market and Yuliya will be in Russia for most of the next year). Our team-based approach continues to pay dividends and I’m happy to be leading such a good group.

To be sure, the biglaw lateral market in Asia is showing stuttering signs of improvement, but things are still much slower than the sizzling levels of mid ‘06 to mid ‘08. We are seeing a lot more interview activity recently (although the competition for such interviews is fierce, as selectivity remains extremely high), but not many of the top firms are urgently hiring (more are interviewing but moving slow with offer decisions). Some of the most attractive target firms remain on hiring freeze, but if current deal flow is sustained through end year, we expect such freezes to thaw.

***More after the jump.

Ed. note: Above the Law has teamed up with Law Shucks. Law Shucks has done excellent work translating all of the layoff news into user-friendly charts and graphs: the Layoff Tracker.

A piece in Wednesday’s WSJ brought into stark relief the futility of using unemployment data for any sort of analysis, as we futilely do every week. Even the states and the federal government can’t agree on how the numbers should be calculated. Not surprisingly, the assumptions being made are largely influenced by the message the economist wants (or is nudged) to give.

The most visible figures available to evaluate the job market are unemployment rates, which don’t speak well for the stimulus package. The national rate of joblessness last month was 9.7%, up from 8.5% in March, the month after the stimulus act was passed. A week after that number was released, the White House’s Council of Economic Advisers reported that the stimulus had increased employment to a level by “slightly more than 1 million jobs higher than it otherwise would have been.”

That awkward wording says a lot: It reflects the tough job facing any economist who tries to estimate job creation. In every method used, economists are forced to imagine an alternate reality — one built on assumptions that are easily challenged. …

The White House method assumes that things were getting worse and that the stimulus is the sole factor responsible for stopping the bleeding. So economists imagined an alternative reality whereby the present would have been much worse — to the tune of one million more lost jobs.

So with that in mind, unemployment was up again, even as Obama and Bernanke are announcing that the recession, "from a technical perspective," may be over.

Perhaps the slowdown in law-firm layoffs is a leading indicator? The activity in our little corner of the economy, after the jump.

* The New York Attorney General isn’t the only one going after Bank of America’s lawyers at Cleary. Congressman Edolphus Towns says BofA’s merger discussions with Merrill Lynch are not covered by attorney-client privilege and that the bank must turn over its legal documents by noon today. [New York Times and Business Insider]

* The Justice Department wants to see Google Books succeed in building a vast digital library but not a monopoly. [New York Times]

* Inspired by Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew, a judge ordered a lawyer who cursed out his opposing counsel to go to dinner with his opponent: “And do as adversaries do in law, Strive mightily but eat and drink as friends.” [Legal Intelligencer]

* Legal Secretary of the Day: Mary Merten. She is charged with stealing $700,000 from her New York law firm. [Mid-Hudson News]

* This sounds like a class action waiting to be filed in New York. [Gothamist]

* Laid off? Take a hike. Literally. [Wall Street Journal]

When we run caption contests here at ATL, we prefer to withhold the back story on the photo. However, this photo, and the story behind it, has gone viral. We’ve gotten it many times in tips — Thanks, tipsters! — and even our non-lawyer friends have been sending it to us.

We’re running a contest anyway, but we’ll give you the back story now… or after the jump rather. Same rules apply as always: Submit possible captions in the comments. We’ll choose our favorites — with preference given to those with a legal bent — and let you vote for the best one.

Here’s the photo of a bunch of legal types:

Think of a great caption. Write it down. Then check out the real and incredibly bizarre caption for this photo after the jump.

We’re heading into the weekend and the autumnal equinox is not far off. It got us to thinking, who is still waiting on news about their offers from the summer? We know that some firms have already indicated that they would be making late decisions, but it occurred to us that some summers are honestly still in the dark.

Is there anybody out there in that situation? I feel we keep hearing about one firm in particular that hasn’t made offers yet, but gosh I just can’t remember which one. I think the first name starts with an M, and the last name rhymes with “frown.”

Are there other firms that aren’t even telling 2009 summers when a decision will be made?

Vent in the comments. We’re sure your firms haven’t completely forgotten about you. But you know what they say, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of no offers

* It’s Carolyn Elefant’s last day at Legal Blog Watch. We wish her all the best in her future endeavors. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Does America need more Congresspeople? Given the low approval ratings of Congress, this is probably the kind of thing that can only happen through the courts. Apparently, somebody is trying. [WSJ Law Blog]

* The UBS prosecution is … working? [Blackbook Legal]

* Is anybody looking for a good lawyer in D.C.? [What About Clients?]

* Tax breaks in the sale of the Chicago Cubs. [Tax Prof Blog]

* I actually thought that Nancy Pelosi’s displaying of emotion was moving. I … might be alone on that one. [Althouse]

* Abercrombie & Fitch v. Beyonce over the Fierce fragrance. You’d think Abercrombie would just work something out where Beyonce gets the name but she has to wear a little bit of Abercrombie clothing in an ad. A very little bit. [Popsquire]

Last week, we offered you this photo of Vice President Joe Biden at Syracuse University School of Law and asked you to give us your funniest caption suggestions. We then asked you to vote among ten finalists, noting that one of the finalists was not our pick. Guess which finalist won.

You guys just love rooting for the underdog, don’t you?

It was a close race, with the winner taking only 18.3% of the nearly 2500 votes cast. Our second place winner captured 17.8% of the votes:

“I hope you like it - the chef was one of our best students.”

A good dig at Syracuse is bested only by a good dig at Washington’s socialist agenda. Thanks for all your captions and for voting!

Ed. note: Have a question for next week? Send it in to advice@abovethelaw.com.

Dear ATL,

What are your thoughts on whether I should take off for the Friday of Rosh Hashanah and/or the Monday of Yom Kippur? I probably wouldn’t go to synagogue (yes, I’m Jewish), but I’d like to just take the day off to, ya know, just observe the holiday in my own way. I don’t want to get on anybody’s bad side at my white shoe firm by taking days off, especially since this place has been known to conduct stealth layoffs.

Do They Know It’s Christmastime At All?

Dear Do They Know It’s Christmastime At All,

When it comes to holidays (Jewish, Christian, Baha’i, Wiccan, whatever) you need to do what you feel is meaningful, law firm be damned. Your firm may penalize you for not showing up to work, but since there’s no hell in Judaism, you can rest easy knowing that God won’t.

The corporate slogan of Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, is “A sweet New Year.” For some that may mean going to temple for two days and being around family. I know for a fact that God does not want to me to go to temple and run into better looking, more successful people or the guy from my middle school class who invented topical Viagra and now has a license to print money. God wants me to start off the new year right by sleeping in and eating cheese fries. Instead of weeping and fasting on Yom Kippur, the Jewish answer to Lent, God may want you to punish yourself by reading Dan Brown’s new book or going to a Nickelback concert. There’s just no right way to celebrate.

If you choose not to take off, working through the holidays can still be a wonderful and moving tribute to your heritage. As you work through the night drafting disclosure schedules, you will experience firsthand the anguish of your ancestors who were slaves in Egypt building pyramids for the evil tyrant Ramses II.

May the New Year bring jobs for everyone and make us all repulsively rich.

Your friend,

Marin

After the jump, Death Match: Christmas v. Hannukah.

From what we can tell, Janero Marchand was just your normal everyday law student. Well, a normal everyday law student who allegedly dated this woman.

Hey, the man likes fine clothes and fine women; there’s nothing wrong with that. But the gossip blog Bossip blew up his world this morning, when it made Marchand front page news:

According to our source, Rihanna has been spotted around town with a new man accompanying her by the name of Janero Marchand. 22 year old Janero is the former boyfriend of video chick Dollicia Bryan and is a current NYU Law Student. Janero, who wishes to stay out of the limelight, has been the missing link to Rihanna’s life; offering her love and support during her split with Chris Brown.

As the cops in a South Park episode might say, “nice … nice.”

There’s only one problem with the story, it’s not true.

Pesky, pesky details after the jump.

Second Life is a virtual world where people can create avatars and live “second lives” online. Started in 2003, it claims to be the largest such virtual community. The appeal seems to be that it’s just like real life — people “have jobs, purchase land, commit crimes, build homes and careers, make friends, fall in love, have sex, visit museums, and make and spend money” — except in Second Life, your avatar can also do crazy things, like fly, change appearances, and have really nasty sex.

We’re intimately familiar with neither Second Life nor sex toys, but our understanding is that the two go hand in hand. Eros LLC, a virtual sex toy maker, has apparently made a pretty penny selling sex goods in Second Life. But now other Second Life vendors are ripping off its designs and selling knock-offs. Eros’s CEO Kevin Alderman — who goes by Stroker Serpentine in Second Life and built the first in-world sex bed, a digital bed with built-in sex position animations — is filing a class-action suit against Second Life’s creators for enabling this virtual counterfeiting.

Alderman, who has been called “the ‘Hugh Heffner’ of the digital millennium,” wants Second Life to shut down its virtual version of Canal Street (counterfeit central in New York). From MediaPost:

Entrepreneur Kevin Alderman, who sells virtual erotic goods in Second Life, said in court papers that [Second Life creator/owner] Linden Lab allows other virtual marketers to offer knock-offs of his “SexGen” beds and other products.

“Eros’s virtual erotic SexGen products sold for use in Second Life have been counterfeited, cloned, and ripped off countless times by a multitude of Second Life residents,” the lawsuit alleges. “The manner in which this has occurred is akin to the knockoff handbags and purses sold near Canal Street in New York City. Some of the bags are stolen, but actual brand-name handbags sold at deep discounts, while many others are knockoffs that merely use the brand-name makers’ designs and trademarks.”

Circuit judge Richard Posner has weighed in on patent infringement of sex toys before, ruling that a company couldn’t patent the glass dildo. But what about virtual sex toy counterfeiting? We’re entering virgin territory here.

We’ve been waiting for this. We’ve been covering Boston College Law Professor Scott Fitzgibbon and his commercial against gay-marriage. That commercial is now being shown on national television (I caught it being discussed on Dylan Ratigan’s show this morning). I can’t imagine how proud the BC Law community is to have their law school prominently featured in an ad that — as one legal blogger put it: “relies on inflammatory and unfounded rhetoric.”

Today, a group of BC Law professors put out a statement that tries to soothe the feelings of gays and lesbians that may feel the university as a whole doesn’t think they should be given equal treatment.

Read it after the jump.

Birds are smart enough to fly south when things get rough up north. Can attorneys figure out how to do it too? As always, the Job of the Week is
brought to you by our friends over at Lateral Link. As we mentioned with yesterday’s career survey lateral hiring is picking up. Lateral Link has added over 25 new jobs in the last week and has placed attorneys in over a dozen law firm and in-house positions so far this month. If you are looking for a new position, consider registering for Lateral Link.

Position: Litigation Associate

Location: Miami, FL

Description: The Miami office of a prominent national firm is seeking a mid-level litigation associate. Ideal candidate would be a 2005 graduate, but a 2004-2006 graduate will be considered. Florida bar is preferred.

For more information about this position, please contact Lateral Link’s Director for the Southeast, Jordan Abshire. Jordan is a graduate of Harvard Law School and a former Troutman Sanders attorney. Current Lateral Link members can also view Position #5296
on Lateral Link. Membership in Lateral Link is free and you can apply at www.laterallink.com.

I’ll admit, I did not participate in any kind of fake court moot court competitions during law school. It just wasn’t my thing. But for other students, moot court can be a really exciting way to pass the time while you are waiting for law school to stop charging you money. I totally respect that.

Unless people take it too seriously. When moot court turns into gunner heaven, it’s hard not to laugh at all the Lil’ Boies running around acting like the competition is more important than 1L torts.

But at UVA Law School, it looks like the people running the school’s William Minor Lile Moot Court Competition have taken things to an entirely new level of pettiness. A UVA 2L explains it this way:

[T]he Lile Moot Court competition is our intramural moot court that 240 2Ls are competing in. It is run by appx. 10 incredibly rude and power-hungry 3Ls … and they have been inconsiderate to say the least. It’s the talk of the campus, or at least of the 2Ls.

You see what happens, Larry? You see what happens when 3Ls don’t have secure firm jobs waiting for them upon graduation?

After the jump, the members of the UVA moot court board completely lose their ever lovin’ minds.

[Speaking in the voice of the late, great Don LaFontaine] In a world where 2Ls are terrified. In a time when Biglaw openly flouts NALP rules. There was one man who would not take it anymore.

[Cue sweeping and inspiring theme song]

That man was Harvard Law School’s Assistant Dean for Career Services, Mark Weber.

Without the knowledge of the general public, the law firm Sullivan & Cromwell told 2Ls interviewing with the firm that it would disregard the 45 day waiting period for holding open offers. Instead, the firm would expect a decision in just two weeks. Am Law Daily reports:

In late July, S&C called several of the nation’s top law schools and informed career services personnel at those schools that the firm would not be following the 45-day guideline, according to six sources with direct knowledge of the situation. All six spoke only on the condition that they not be identified publicly.

Instead, S&C told the career services personnel, the firm would require prospects to respond yes or no in two weeks.

But S&C wasn’t prepared for Mark Weber.

Click below to continue listening to this trailer.

* Happy Rosh Hashanah. [ABC]

* Mayer Brown and Reed Smith could be trying to kill the billable hour too. [Legal Week]

* When it comes to executing prisoners, should we allow mulligans? [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

* A Maryland police officer who t-boned a car and killed the driver could not be charged with vehicular manslaughter thanks to the state’s tough mens rea requirement. So instead, a civil jury has entered a $4 million verdict against him. [Washington Post]

* However, two Florida school administrators who violated a consent decree by leading prayer in a public school could face jail time if convicted. [CNN]

* The Senate has passed a bill to make Amtrak a more appealing travel option: Guns on trains! Now you’ll have a toy to play with during the inevitable train break down. Thanks, Second Amendment! [New York Times]

A couple of days ago, an attorney sent in an email to the New York State Bar Association listserv. Like many people, the attorney was looking for a job. He decided to ask the listserv for some helpful tips:

Subject: [nysba-nonres] (somewhat) new attorney still seeking first FT position From: [Redacted] To: nysba-nonres@lists.nysba.org

Its a difficult time for new lawyers graduating with gigantic student loan debts and a bad economy. I’ve been searching for two years sending out hundreds of resumes and applying for an online jobs every chance I get but it now seems hopeless.

I’m a Fordham Law School graduate and have an internship working at a small bankruptcy/divorce/immigration firm and also have been doing debt collection in state court and attending 341 hearings as a per diem attorney. I also have an interest in criminal law and litigation and therefore took hands on courses in law school: civil litigation drafting, trial advocacy, fundamental lawyering skills, criminal procedure.

I want a full time position but contract work would be helpful also.

If anyone has any suggestion as to where to apply or what to do please advise.

Everybody tells you to network to find a job in this economy. But what if you don’t know anybody? One can understand how the state bar association listserv could seem like a viable option to a recent Fordgam graduate.

Were the employed attorneys helpful to the young Fordham ram? What do you think?

* Yesterday’s O’Melveny news is still rippling through the blogosphere. Will the firm now be known as the Martin Luther of Biglaw? [Law and More]

* Remember, if you are in Washington, D.C. next Wednesday September 23rd, head down to Georgetown to meet David Lat and talk about new media and the law. [Georgetown Federalist Society Blog]

* One prominent legal blogger — and BC Law grad — is disappointed with Professor Fitzgibbon. Not because the Professor expressed his viewpoint, but because of his blatant distortion of the truth. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Can 1Ls going to law school in Maryland let us know about the defense of home case law in the state? Thanks. [Adjunct Law Prof Blog]

* Legal Rebel Tour, the week one recap. [ABA Journal]

It’s the afternoon of Thursday, September 17. Do you know where your clerkship is?

Today is the first day, pursuant to the Law Clerk Hiring Plan for 2009 — which some judges follow, and some don’t — when interviews may be held and offers made. The plan even specifies a time of day for interviews and offers to begin — “8.00 a.m. (EDT)” — perhaps because, in years past, some judges brought applicants in for midnight meetings.

Relive the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat, perhaps by (anonymously) disclosing your credentials and the clerkship(s) you got (or didn’t get), in the comments to this open thread.

Law Clerk Addict
Clerkship Notification Blog: 2010-11 Clerkship Season
THE LAW CLERK HIRING PLAN FOR 2009 [Federal Judges Law Clerk Hiring Plan]
About OSCAR [Online System for Clerkship Application & Review]

Earlier: Clerkship Application Season: Clear The Phones
Clerkship Application Season: Open Thread

Oh happy day! It brings us news of a beloved figure who has been long absent from these pages: Monica Goodling, our favorite DOJ diva. And the news for Goodling, a high-ranking and influential official in the Bush Administration’s Justice Department, is good.

Remember the case of Gerlich v. U.S. Department of Justice, the putative class action brought by Honors Program rejects who claimed they weren’t hired for political reasons? Many of the claims, as brought by individual plaintiffs — a somewhat dodgy motion for class certification remains pending — have been resoundingly dismissed.

From the Washington Post:

A federal judge this week dismissed civil claims against former attorney general Alberto R. Gonzales, rejecting a lawsuit by job applicants who argue that they were blacklisted from the Justice Department during the Bush era because of their ideology.

U.S. District Judge John D. Bates concluded that the unsuccessful job candidates had not followed the appropriate steps in the civil service system before filing their lawsuit in the District last year….

More discussion and links, after the jump.

Over the last month, we’ve seen a significant spike in the number of ATL readers making use of the information on the Career Center. With hundreds of thousands of visitors to the law firm snapshots and tens of thousands of law firm comparisons generated on the Career Center, we want to know what is on our readers’ minds when it comes to your careers.

Could it be that a year after Lehman’s collapse, and with Bernake’s reassurances that the recession is "very likely over," attorneys feel it is safe to go back on the job hunt? Perhaps the recent layoffs are creating concern that things are getting worse, and people want to know their options? Either way, the good news is that our friends over at Lateral Link tell us that hiring is starting to pick up and they have dozens of attorneys interviewing, so options are out there.

If you have information about your firm that you want to share with other career center users, please email us at careercenter@abovethelaw.com. Thanks.

ATL Career Center [powered by Lateral Link]

Federal judges have been complaining about their salaries for years now, but all they’ve managed to get recently is a small cost of living increase.

Federal judge Stephen Larson of the Central District of California is taking a stand on the issue — by quitting. From the National Law Journal:

U.S. District Judge Stephen G. Larson of the Los Angeles-based Central District of California said in a prepared statement on Sept. 15 that the failure by Congress to increase judicial salaries made it impossible to support his seven children, all under age 18.

“The costs associated with raising our family are increasing significantly, while our salary remains stagnant and, in terms of purchasing power, is actually declining,” he said. “The short of it is that I know I must place my family’s interest, particularly the future of my children, ahead of my own fervent desire to remain a federal judge.”

We can see where he’s coming from. Larson, 44, hasn’t seen big(law) money since 1991, when he was a second-year associate at O’Melveny & Myers. Since then he’s been in public service, as an assistant U.S. attorney and a judge.

We have so many questions!

Finally, we wonder: are federal judges underpaid? Find out how much judges make, and vote in our poll as to whether they’re underpaid, after the jump.

Like most days, I started my morning with a Red Bull and the best morning man in the business, Pat Kiernan. Everything was proceeding normally, until I received this tip in the ATL inbox:

Women lawyers at City firm Clifford Chance have been given a £90 lingerie allowance.

Now, as you can well imagine, I don’t normally “spring” into anything — much less action. But within nanoseconds of receiving this information, I fired off a flurry of emails.

It turns out that the story comes from the Guardian - U.K. Here are some additional details about this (lacy?) fringe benefit:

Women lawyers at top City firm Clifford Chance are bucking the trend for reduced expenses now that their £90 lingerie-and-blouse allowance, if they work later than 11pm, has been reinstated. Inevitably dubbed the “90 nicker knicker allowance”, this may or may not be the most reliable indicator yet that the credit crunch is over. (Business is apparently so hectic that the firm has also installed sleeping pods.)

If you “work” later than 11 o’clock, you get to buy new panties? Why didn’t I think of that? More importantly, why didn’t Ben Franklin think of that and put it in the Constitution?

After consulting colleagues in London, a spokesperson for Clifford Chance in New York got back to me about bringing this commitment to sensual excellence to America. Sadly, it turns out that what sounds like one of the greatest Biglaw perks ever is in fact just a pedestrian acknowledgment of basic hygiene.

The current New Yorker has an interesting piece by Jeffrey Toobin on President Obama’s judicial picks. Toobin took part in a live chat about the piece at NewYorker.com right now earlier today if you’re interested. (Try not to crash their website.).

UPDATE: The chat’s quite interesting. Toobin reveals why he likes Justice Souter best and answers this young wannabe judge’s question:

11:31 Guest: I’m a 25 year old law student, I want to be a judge, and my roommate smokes pot. How worried should I be? Do you think people will still care when I’m older?

11:32 Jeffrey Toobin: Don’t inhale! I’m kidding. I don’t think it will make a bit of difference. Our president has more or less admitted he was a pretty big pothead in his day, and it’s been a non-issue. Certainly the fact that your roommate smokes — not you — is irrelevant.

Toobin’s piece is available online to non-subscribers here. If you don’t feel like clicking through seven pages, here’s the ATL reader’s digest version:

Yesterday, we talked about a Boston College Law professor, Scott Fitzgibbon, who went up to Maine to shoot an anti-gay marriage commercial. John Garvey, Dean of Boston College Law, didn’t respond to us, but he did send around an email to the BC Law community. As many predicted, Dean Garvey defended Professor Fitzgibbon. Here is the pertinent part of Dean Garvey’s letter:

Professor Fitzgibbon, as a member of our faculty, is free to express his views. His public statements represent his own opinions, as the advertisement makes clear, and do not state any official position of Boston College Law School. We also have faculty members who hold a contrary view, which they too are free to express publicly. Many have done so while referring to themselves as BC Law professors. One of them has publicly led the fight to oppose the Solomon Amendment on the grounds that it is an affront to gay and lesbian students and prospective members of the U.S. military. Others have taken controversial positions on such subjects as abortion, euthanasia, and the treatment of detainees.

I believe that free expression is central to our mission as a law school committed to public
discourse and the free exchange of ideas and opinions. We have faculty and students from many different backgrounds, and with many different points of view. It is our expectation that they will continue to engage in public discourse, and argue their positions with passion and civility, with the intellectual freedom that an academic institution affords to us all.

Dean Garvey is clearly right insofar as academic institutions must be grounded on the free exchange of thoughts and ideas, even when those ideas are controversial.

But as NYU Law Dean Richard Revesz found out, the gay marriage issue isn’t always as simple as a mere intellectual debate. If you believe that marriage is a basic civil right, then the issue can transcend the normal bounds of academic discourse.

Not surprisingly, Above the Law readers have some opinions on whether Dean Garvey is taking the correct stance here. We present Dean Garvery’s full letter and some of the best comments and emails, after the jump.

* Happy Constitution Day. [Concurring Opinions]

* Georgia judge Clay Land reprimanded an attorney and threw out an Army captain’s “birther movement” lawsuit, which opposed Iraq deployment based on Barack Obama’s supposed illegitimacy to be president. [Ledger-Enquirer]

* What else could Congress do to Joe Wilson? [Slate]

* Pace Law is offering an accelerated degree program, so that new students can start this January and finish at the same time as those starting now. Because we need more lawyers and we need them fast! [Pace Law School]

* The lab technician, taken into custody yesterday in connection with the killing of Yale graduate student Annie Le, is now under arrest and charged with her death by suffocation. [New York Times]

* We suspect Washington, D.C.’s massive population of young lawyers is to blame for this. [Yahoo News]

* Jones Day wants to apply the whiteout to Lehman’s bankruptcy order. [American Lawyer]

Just last week SCOTUS Justice Sonia Sotomayor was spotted cutting a rug at the Irish Channel Pub in Washington, D.C.’s Chinatown. This week, she’s on the dance floor again, but this time the location is a bit more upscale.

From the Reliable Source at the Washington Post:

The annual gala of the National Hispanic Foundation for the Arts is known for drawing the stars — but a D.C. luminary outshone the Hollywood kind Tuesday night. Justice Sonia Sotomayor would have been the belle of the ball even if she had never left her table, so the room exploded when actor Esai Morales pulled the Supreme Court’s first Latino member onto the dance floor for an impressively confident salsa.

See the dance video, and the other legal stars at the party, after the jump.

There has been so much talk about the death of Biglaw that the term has become a cliché. These are challenging times, to be sure. But many firms are in the process of adjusting to the market, by making long-term plans to revise their business models so they can thrive in the future.

One such firm is O’Melveny & Myers. About a month ago, the firm released a five-year strategic plan to its associates and counsel. At a time when some firms are keeping their employees in the dark about long-term issues, O’Melveny — to its credit — decided to let its people know what management is thinking.

Above the Law has obtained a copy of this five-year plan. The document outlines how O’Melveny intends to compete going forward. Instead of aiming for marginal cost savings by making a few cutbacks here and there, the O’Melveny memo tries to rethink the firm’s overall business model — and gives us a chance to talk, once again, about the long term viability of Biglaw.

Let’s take a look into the O’Melveny’s — and perhaps Biglaw’s — future, after the jump.

* Another signal that Justice Stevens might be on his way out. [The BLT: Blog of the Legal Times]

* Are Alabaman men threatened by sex toys? [Quiz Law]

* Oh, health care reform is unconstitutional now. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Can you get a better grade by stalking your professor? [True/Slant]

* Ms. McMahon (wife of WWE founder Vince McMahon) wants to be the Republican nominee for Senator from Connecticut. This is what family values are all about. [The Fix]

* “So, you know, honestly, the thing when I read [anonymous message boards] is, I feel terrible for them because there’s no way they’re happy. They’ve got to be some of the most unhappy people in the world, and I feel bad because we just made them less happy. And I hate to be a part of making someone less happy. I mean, they’re already miserable and to make them less happy, I’d feel bad.” — Ohio State Coach Jim Tressel. [Cleveland Plain-Dealer]

Ed. note: Welcome to the latest installment of “Notes from the Breadline,” a column by a laid-off lawyer in New York. Prior columns are collected here. You can reach Roxana St. Thomas by email (at roxanastthomas@gmail.com), follow her on Twitter, or find her on Facebook.

The news that filters down to the breadline these days can be confusing. “The recession is over!” some sources promise blithely. The recession may not be over, warn others, but “even stagnation would be better than recent history.” (Anecdotal evidence of stagnation — blessed, welcome stagnation — follow, substituting for tales of hope.)

In the legal press, though, the forecast is decidedly more circumspect. Bloodletting may have slowed at the nation’s law firms, but, between rumors of the billable hour’s demise and free-floating anxiety about the future of associate pay, the recession is far from receding into the distance in our collective rearview mirror.

I have been seeing a new recruiter, one in a string of casual liaisons which — like online dates — offer much promise initially, but usually stall after the second or third encounter. (Like the others, she was relentlessly positive and showered me with complements, and … well, I ended up showing her my résumé on the first date.) I decide to ask her whether she thinks the end of the recession has come to our corner of the professional world.

“Well,” says the recruiter (whose name, fortuitously, is Faith), “a lot of my clients are back to running ads and soliciting resumes. But they’re not necessarily hiring.” A long pause follows, and she adds, “Yet.”

“Are they interviewing?” I ask. She answers carefully, telling me brightly that, yes, “some people have gone on interviews, here and there!” In other words, I translate silently: no.

Law firm mass emails can be a bitter pill to swallow. Nobody wants to be publicly accused of, say, taking craps on the bathroom floor. In that instance, a simple multiple-choice survey on bathroom habits followed by a marksmanship competition would have sufficed. One legal administrator recently learned the hard way that sending inflammatory mass emails is rarely the route to popularity or success. Or is it?

Jordan Reid (née Berkow) is your typical NYC born and bred jerkhat. She went to Dalton private school and then moved on to Harvard, where she got her undergrad degree in cognitive neuroscience. (Ed. note: that’s in the psychology department, nice try.)

Perhaps prompted by her voice coach and by a successful run in a summer camp production of “The Pajama Game,” Jordan went to L.A. to seek fame and fortune. After a few small roles and the requisite appearance on Law & Order, she abandoned ship and returned to NYC, where her she lived in an apartment partially paid for by her parents. As a matter of course, her mom, who worked in a law firm, hooked her up with a job as a legal administrator there. It’s not clear exactly where she worked, but Jordan describes the firm as “a fairly depressing” place, where she sobbed at her desk. If this sounds like your office, join the club email us at tips.

A flip-flop and an email, after the jump.

For those who have been following the Supreme Court case American Needle v. NFL (previously blogged about in more detail here, here, and here), this Friday clothing manufacturer American Needle Inc. will file its opening brief, arguing that the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals was wrong to define the NFL as a single-entity under Section 1 of the Sherman Act.

As many of you know, I have long agreed with American Needle’s view that the NFL should be treated as a collection of 32 separate clubs, and not as a single entity. To me, this issue was best resolved by the Second Circuit back in the 1982 case North American Soccer League v. Nat’l Football League, in which that court held “the sound and more just procedure is to judge the legality of [sports league] restraints according to well-recognized standards of our antitrust laws rather than permit their exemption.”

Currently, the Second Circuit’s view remains in the overwhelming majority, as seven previous courts have upheld this view and rejected the NFL clubs’ single-entity argument. The Seventh Circuit meanwhile remains alone in its iconoclastic position that single-entity status should be determined one league at a time, one function at a time.

American Needle’s counsel on this matter in the law firm Jones Day. The National Football League meanwhile is represented by Covington & Burling LLC—a firm where former NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue serves as Senior Of Counsel.
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Marc Edelman is a Professor at Barry Law School in Orlando, FL. He previously was a Visiting Professor at Rutgers School of Law-Camden. His bio is available here, and his publications, here.