From a Craigslist posting entitled 40-something SJM ISO Elena Kagan (we’ve added some links to clarify various references):
I’ve had a crush on you for almost twenty years (and you deservedly made fun of me when I got tongue-tied in front of you), but it never seemed appropriate to move on it. Either I was dating someone, or you were in another city…
But now! Our careers seem to have settled in DC. I’m single. Politico and Eliot Spitzer tell me you’re single. We have so much in common: I love the law (even civil procedure!) and can’t get enough of it. I like books and baseball and poker and New York City and Medici pizza. I admire Thurgood Marshall. Like you, I love the Federalist Society. My mother was the first bas mitzvah in her Orthodox synagogue, but I’m relatively non-observant. We disagree on some First Amendment issues, to be sure, but I’ll never ask you to watch a dogfighting video. Ok, you’re smarter than me, but I’m no slouch (like you, I turned down Yale Law), and I’m cool being Mr. Ginsburg to your Ruth Bader if you are.
This is not a joke. I am gaga for Lady KaGa. I understand you have other priorities in the next few weeks, and Andrew Sullivan and Glenn Greenwald would be scandalized if we started dating, but I’ve waited for you this long, I can wait until after the inevitable investiture. Just send me a signal: mention your love of the Mets in your opening statement before the Senate Judiciary Committee, and I’ll know to send you a dinner date invitation for the first Friday in October. We’ll go for Chinese food at a restaurant better than City Lights.
Finally, some suspense for the Kagan hearings: Will she mention the Mets? Tune in and find out.
We interviewed the Craigslist poster about his wacky plan….
I am totally serious. I realize it’s improbable (Kagan may well prefer being single at this point), but there aren’t that many single brilliant Jewish lawyers, and I figured it was worth a long shot.
ATL: What’s your name and where do you work? (Don’t know if you’d be willing to disclose this for publication, but I figured I’d ask.)
I know you had to try, but sorry. I’m not going public unless I meet Kagan and she tells me she wants me to go public, both of which are independently improbable. And even then I’m likely to say we met at Harvard and just happened to reconnect.
ATL: It seems that you know Kagan personally. Can you say more about this, e.g., how long you have known her, how you met, etc.?
I’ve met Kagan; I doubt she remembers me, but we have lots of mutual acquaintances and two-degrees-of-separation acquaintances, though no one we both know well enough that I could comfortably approach her through that third party. I can’t say more than that because it would make it too easy to identify me.
ATL: What do you make of the rumors that she’s a lesbian?
I’d heard the rumors for years; they were so widespread and accepted that I was surprised when the White House denied them. In hindsight, they were unfair.
ATL: How would you vote in the Elena Kagan look-a-like contest?
I’ll go with a cross between Carrie Fisher, Laura Linney, and Bette Midler, but I thought that post was offensive.
ATL: Fair enough; you’re not the only one. For the record, though, I don’t think there’s anything offensive about noting that celebrity X happens to look like celebrities Y and Z. Some people, male and female — this is not a gender thing — have faces that just happen to resemble other faces.
In any event, good luck with your quest. It seems like a long shot — but hey, you never know!
Earlier: It’s Official: Elena Kagan Is Straight!
The Elena Kagan Look-Alike Contest: Who does she most resemble?
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places? A Craigslist ‘Missed Connection’ at the SCOTUS
Desperately Seeking ‘The Supreme Court Clerk of My Heart’