It’s a Scarlet Letter tale for the digital age. A Georgetown law student’s life has completely unraveled. His way of dealing with losing his wife, his mistress, his supposed baby, his military assignment, and good standing at Georgetown Law School? A public confession on Facebook.

He posted the note with the details of his sad, sordid story on his Facebook wall this week. It begins:

For the world to know:

I was an awful husband. Instead of being honest with my wife about the real problems we faced, I chose to band-aide my pain by seeking comfort in the arms of another woman. The single worst moral failing of my entire life, that I will never atone for and never live down. There is no excuse for my behavior and I deserve every stone that any of you choose to throw.

Anyone who’s ever seen Fatal Attraction or any of the derivative films it has spawned knows that seeking comfort in the arms of another woman will only lead to very bad things. We’ve redacted the names of those involved; we’ll call this candid law student “BAD, BAD BULLDOG.” He decided to share in detail how his dalliance with BULLDOG TEMPTRESS sent his life into a tailspin.

One or more of his Facebook friends — so impressed by the public pillory — copied the note into an email and forwarded it on, thus inviting others to join in the stone-throwing. This has resulted in widespread distribution at the school, and the email’s landing in our inbox.

There are many lessons to be learned here. Two big ones: (1) Don’t cheat on your wife, and (2) If your mistress tells you she’s pregnant, make sure you see the test with the pink line with your own eyes…

BAD BULLDOG continues:

That illicit relationship lasted over a year. Eventually, by the grace of God and the help of my mother, I realized the unmistakeable error of my ways. I tried to make things right. I broke up with my mistress, who I was living with, having moved out of my wife’s house.

The night I broke up with her, she attacked me in a spurned lover’s rage. I pushed her away. She slipped, fell, hit her head, and went to the hospital with a concussion. I acted in self defense, and I never, ever meant to hurt her.

We’re not sure the Facebook jury is going to buy that one.

I moved out, and went to live with my true friend, BAD BULLDOG’S FRIEND. I began to reconcile with my long-suffering wife. The future looked like it could be redeemed.

Nope.

In late December, the mistress told me she was pregnant with my child. I told my wife. Eventually, I summoned the courage to tell my parents’ in law. I was torn with guilt and indecision, incapable of deciding to whom I owed the more compelling moral duty.

My dear wife decided she had had enough, and in late December, she told me we were through. I cried. I contemplated suicide. My days and nights were dark. Too late I realized what I had lost, and tried to make things right. At this point, my words held little value for the woman whose trust I had so deeply betrayed.

We hope this all went down post-fall semester final exams.

Having lost my wife, I determined to make things right with the soon-to-be mother of my child. It was a very difficult and confused time. I was speaking to both women. One day my wife called me on my duplicity, told me that if I were serious about reuniting with her, I would not be speaking with the mistress. Her words rang true. I told the mistress that day, that I would never speak with her again. She came to my house and flew in to a rage. I stayed far away from her, frightened of a repeat of November. Eventually she finally left. I have not spoken with her in person since. I spoke with her via phone perhaps a week later, after a very drunken night out in Las Vegas. I do not remember our conversation.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, thanks to the magical mind-erasing power of insane amounts of alcohol.

Soon duty called. Our BAD BULLDOG is a U.S. Marine. So much for their slogan: “The Few. The Proud. The Marines. Semper Fidelis; Always Faithful.”

The Marine Corps called me hither and yon, in imminent preparation for the Afghanistan deployment for which I had been preparing for so long. Having failed so badly in my personal relationships, I threw myself headlong into preparations for our deployment.

Come late April, at the end of our Annual Training period, a week before our activation to deploy to Afghanistan, I had achieved company command as a junior captain in a battalion overfull of Majors.

Phew, escape…

But no. BULLDOG TEMPTRESS knows her way around the military legal system:

Suddenly my battalion commander informed me that the Naval Criminal Investigative Service would be investigating me on charges of rape, domestic assault, and stalking. I was dumbstruck.

I reported to the NCIS office the next day, and pled the 5th, unsure of what the hell was going on. Leaving the office, I was served with a notice to appear at a hearing in Washington, DC, to determine whether a Civil Protective Order would be entered against me, to keep me from contacting or harassing the mistress who I had not seen, or attempted to see, since January.

I was relieved of command, pending the results of the investigation. The civilian hearing was eventually continued until June 29.

I was made unemployed, placed on a ‘legal hold’ pending the resolution of this matter. Overnight I went from flush with cash, ahead of a combat tour, to completely broke.

Well, this is one way to get out of going to war.

The NCIS did a thorough investigation of my life, and declined to press charges, determining that the allegations against me were unfounded. They even interviewed my wife, forcing her to answer questions about our relationship and her husband’s infidelity.

I remain on a legal hold, pending resolution of whether I am guilty of conduct unbecoming an officer for being unfaithful to my wife.

Well, it’s certainly not the most becoming of conduct.

After the NCIS investigation was completed, and no charges had been filed, my former mistress then went to our law school, where she brought the same allegations against me. Those allegations are currently being investigated.

Perhaps I will again be exonerated. Or perhaps I will be expelled, left to fend for myself for my quarter million dollars of student debt, half of which my father has co-signed.

That’s going to tug at our readers’ unemployed heart strings.

Here’s a lesson, though. Do your research:

Today I discovered that this woman is in fact not pregnant with my child. Perhaps she had an abortion. Perhaps she miscarried. Perhaps she was never pregnant, and just made the whole thing up. I do not know, and I do not know how I ever could know. Perhaps my marriage could have been saved.

We tried to look up both parties on Facebook but their profiles did not show up in a search. A tipster tells us, “BULLDOG TEMPTRESS’s facebook account appears to have been made private or deleted (not surprising, since she had some incriminating info up there, like flat-stomach pictures [when she would] supposedly be very pregnant).”

I have been suckered by the oldest trick in the book.

So that is where I stand. Relieved of command. Potentially subject to court martial. Living at home, volunteering, utterly broke. Fighting to clear my name in the DC courts and to my school. Fighting to save my military and legal careers. My Marines have activated without me, and soon will be in harm’s way in Afghanistan under the command of another.

I am guilty of infidelity. If God, man, or the Marine Corps wish to judge me for that, then so be it. I accept that judgment. I have nothing to hide and I own responsibility for my sins.

But I never raped that girl. I never assaulted that girl. I hurt her in self defense and I am sorry I did it; I should have just let her hit me, it wasn’t worth it, it was an instinct. I never stalked her. I wanted to know what was the status of her pregnancy. I asked her if she needed help, or money, or anything else. I told her I wanted to work out arrangements for child support. She told me she was pregnant and I believed her. She duped me.

Because of my stupid decisions, I have lost my company, my honor, and my darling wife. I am a broken man.

Not too broken to sign into Facebook and share this woeful tale with the world, though. In this case, we are not sure that sunlight is the best disinfectant.

I am sick of this all being a secret. So here it is, world, for you to consume, and gossip on, and judge, and condemn. Do your worst. I did my best, and faltered, and failed, and hurt the people who I loved the most – my wife, and my father and mother and brother in law, who are nothing but good people and who deserved none of this.

But I never raped that girl. And I never assaulted her. And I never stalked her. Those are vicious lies. I do not know what recourse I will receive in the courts of man but I know that in the court of God, I am guilty of what I am guilty, but I am innocent of this woman’s claims.

I love my darling ex wife. I love my country and I hope again to be able to serve my flag and my Marines. I am a flawed man and I make no excuses for my failings. I pray to God that somehow my former wife will find it in her heart to forgive me, but I will keep on, in any event. Whatever she chooses, I simply hope she is happy.

So there it is, world. Your morality tale, your I told you so, your flawed American hero, or whatever else you choose to make of all this. My ex wife is blameless. The failings are mine. I never raped that girl.

Come what may, God bless the Marine Corps and God bless America.

Shortly thereafter, he posted another (surprisingly breezy) note to Facebook:

BAD, BAD BULLDOG: Oh. And her name is BULLDOG TEMPTRESS, she’s a rising 3L at Georgetown Law, and she’s not pregnant. If you’re really interested, I invite you to attend the hearing in the matter of BULLDOG TEMPTRESS vs. BAD BULLDOG, Case 2010 CPO ######, Judge Lopez’ courtroom, Superior Court of the District of Columbia, Domestic Violence Unit, 500 Indiana Ave NW, Tuesday June 29.

Things will probably get started around 9:30 AM. Cheaper than a movie, more titillating than a Harlequin romance novel.

If you want to read the complaint she filed with the court and the school, alleging all the ways I supposedly raped her and did all sorts of awful, criminal things, just e-mail me and I’ll send it to you. I have nothing to hide. John 8:32 – You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.

We think perhaps the Bible needs to be updated for the digital age. Digital Bible 101: Some truths are better kept off of your Facebook wall.


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