Were you disappointed by James Franco and Anne Hathaway as Oscars hosts? If so, you weren’t alone. PopEater described their hosting efforts, especially Franco’s, as “a disaster.” The New York Times declared the proceedings to be “downright painful” at points.
Next year, the Academy Awards should go in a different direction. Enough pandering to the youth. For 2012, the Oscars host should be a certain hilarious, older Jewish gentleman, who has been celebrated over the years for his brilliance and wit, and who knows a great deal about movies.
Bring back Billy Crystal? Not a bad idea — but here’s a better one. Bring on Chief Judge Alex Kozinski, of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit!
In addition to his incredible intellect and superb sense of humor, Chief Judge Kozinski has an encyclopedic knowledge of film. Recall his famous ruling in the movie-industry case of United States v. Syufy Enterprises, featuring over 200 film titles woven artfully into the text of his opinion.
Chief Judge Kozinski knows movies, and he loves movies. He goes to the cinema every chance he gets. In fact, His Honor recently sent a movie recommendation my way — and it’s PG-13, in case you’re wondering….
Continue reading “A Movie Recommendation from Chief Judge Kozinski”
Prom date Ken probably doesn't know anything about sex in the stacks either.
Last week, we wrote about the crazy party at the “Over the Hump” law prom of UC Davis Law.
Many Davis commenters chimed in to say that the party really wasn’t all that crazy. That’s not surprising. If you go to a party that’s off the hook, only you didn’t witness or experience anything particularly memorable, it’s natural to downplay events. Better to accuse some people of “exaggerating” than to acknowledge the fact that you just missed out.
Luckily, a few additional King Hall students emailed us, stood up to our cross-examination, and shared some additional fun details about the dance.
One person even shared a picture, and I have to say there is definitely some “talent” at UC Davis…
Continue reading “Law School Party Follow Up — Now With Art”
Ted Frank
* Dude, you’re not getting a Dell. How about this crappy Compaq, selling for around $300? Well, Ted Frank, previously profiled here as the Class Action Avenger, won’t stand for it. [Point of Law]
* If you’re one of the 1.1 million people who didn’t file a federal income tax return for 2007, the IRS has your refund — but you must file by April 18 to get your money back. [TaxProf Blog]
* Speaking of tax law, don’t try to deduct your visits to a prostitute as “medical expenses.” Shouldn’t a lawyer know better? [CNNMoney.com]
* Stealing money from Alzheimer’s patients can’t be new. Then again, sending people who steal from Alzheimer’s patients straight to hell probably isn’t new either. [Dealbreaker]
Does this guy qualify as a 'pimp' in California?
* Now that the federal government has banned spice, I wonder if the Empire will release all of the political prisoners being held in the spice mines of Kessel. [Constitution Daily]
* California is going to define “pimping” much more clearly. And folks, that’s why we need states like California. [Legal Blog Watch]
* A JFK assassination expert testifies about one effective suicide method. [DNAinfo]
* You think lawyers get a raw deal in movie portrayals? You should check out accountants. [Going Concern]
Lately, many of you have been quite the busy billers, even working on MLK Day and Presidents Day. What undoubtedly keeps most associates on the clock on holidays (and pretty much every day of the year) is client billable work.
But are there other kinds of activities for which your firm will give you billable hour credit? Take our short survey, brought to you by Lateral Link, and tell us what counts as billable time at your firm. Then check back later this week for the survey results.
Take the survey, after the jump….
Continue reading “Career Center Survey: What Counts as Billable Time?”
On Twitter, somebody told me that “February is the Monday of months.” So true. For such a short month, February just drags on and on and on. Maybe it does make sense to dump Black History Month in February, because the month is like the freaking Middle Passage, bringing us to the tyranny of hay-fever season.
In any event, now that it’s over, let’s take a look back at the lawyers who made news in the month of February and ask you to pick a Lawyer of the Month. Just like last month, there are no specific criteria — just vote for the lawyer or lawyers you think most deserve the title.
Let’s get to this month’s nominees….
Continue reading “Lawyer of the Month: February Reader Poll”
In our most recent practice area survey of the Above the Law readership, the most popular single response was “Intellectual Property.” Eighteen percent of survey respondents identified themselves as IP attorneys.
So many of you might be interested in the latest controversy to heat up the small-firm blogosphere. If you’re an IP lawyer, if you work at a small law firm, or if you’re a law student who enjoys intellectual-property hypotheticals, keep reading….
Continue reading “A Trademark Law Hypothetical for Intellectual Property Attorneys”
Is Wisconsin experiencing the worst Super Bowl hangover ever?
Is there a huge difference between living in a North African country and living in the state of Wisconsin right now? Can somebody please send in Richard Engel to conduct an interview with a bearded lumberjack making a barricade out of cheese?
In case you haven’t been following along (and I understand that it’s not as exciting as the next Charlie Sheen interview), Wisconsin no longer has a functioning government. I’m not exaggerating. The Republican Governor, Scott Walker, and the Republican legislature basically want to take away the right of unions to collectively bargain.
In response, Democrats have fled the state. Again, I’m not exaggerating here. Instead of allowing democracy, however disagreeable the outcome, to play out, 14 Democratic legislators have simply decided not to play. They’ve fled, preventing the legislature from getting together a quorum to vote on Walker’s budget.
And man, are there protests. It’s getting to the point where if Wisconsin had a functioning government, it would probably declare martial law….
Continue reading “The Wisconsin Police State”
Ed. note: This is the latest installment of Size Matters, one of Above the Law’s new columns for small-firm lawyers.
As has become my tradition, Sunday night I watched the Academy Awards while drinking an Oscar-themed martini. While watching the three-and-a-half-hour award show, I was reminded of a few life lessons that I have learned about practicing law.
First, as I listened to the kids from P.S. 22 sing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” I remembered that my years at Biglaw have left me dead inside.
Second, as I saw the many beautiful (and not so beautiful) nude dresses, I was reminded of the importance of transparency in the management of a small law firm. Yes, perhaps this analogy is a stretch, but I just wanted to be able to write about the Oscars and my Black Swan-tini….
Continue reading “Size Matters: I See London, I See France”
Ed. note: The following piece was authored by The Legal Tease, of Sweet Hot Justice fame. Check out her other musings from Sweet Hot Justice here.
Bros of Biglaw, I love you, but I’m worried about you. You’re confused. You’re angry. And you should be. You’ve been told, by each other, that cementing your place as a certified cog in the Biglaw cash wheel would lead to a life slick with sick paychecks, sicker bonuses, and a bevy of models and bottles waiting to revel in the sickness with you.
But… it’s not working out for most of you so far. The disposable ladies aren’t lining up on their knees like you thought they might. One of you even reached out recently to Above the Law to ask — nay demand — some guidance as to how a Biglaw dudebro could cut through all the nonsense and just “find pretty, young, not-too-intelligent slam pieces on the reg.” Elie, bless his heart, advised that all you need to do is to basically target cutters with daddy issues. Decent advice, especially if you happen to live near your local mental ward, but I think Elie missed the mark. He neglected to mention the crucial, the obvious, the only way the average Biglaw Bro will ever have a real shot at slamming his way through the prettiest, not-too-intelligent-est “slam pieces” on the market:
Be an investment banker.
Or a hedge-fund guy. Or a TV producer. Or a cowboy. Pretty much anything besides a lawyer. Because, I hate to break it to you boys, but a young, hot, genuine grade-A “slam piece” (i.e., one trained in NY or LA) views a male lawyer with about as much interest as she views the Barney’s Warehouse Sale: It beats shopping at Target, but it’s still mostly hideous, mildly shameful, and a far cry from the real thing.
And this, guys, is why you have more in common with lady lawyers than you thought….
Continue reading “Biglaw Bros: Why Slam Pieces Don’t Want You”
Why is he smiling? He landed a job at a top law firm.
If your goal in life, or at least your near-term career objective, is to land a job at a large law firm, which law schools would best suit your needs? When it comes to minting Biglaw associates and partners, not all law schools are created equal.
The National Law Journal has just come out with its annual survey of which schools the NLJ 250 law firms relied on most heavily when filling their first-year associate classes. The results are interesting — and also a little depressing.
We’ll start with the depressing part: hiring of top law school graduates continued to decline. As noted by Leigh Jones of the NLJ, “Hiring of graduates of the top law schools by the nation’s largest law firms slid by 10% during 2010 compared with 2009…. In 2010, the top 50 schools sent 3,822, or 27.3%, of their juris doctor graduates to NLJ 250 firms, compared with 30.3% of their 2009 graduating classes. The top 50 schools produced 13,989 graduates during 2010.”
Let’s look at the top 10 law schools, ranked by the percentage of their 2010 graduates who landed jobs at NLJ 250 firms (i.e., “Biglaw”)….
Continue reading “Best Law Schools for Getting a Biglaw Job (2011)”
Hal Turner
* Apparently hearsay exceptions are still hard to grasp, even for justices on the Supreme Court. [CNN Justice]
* Threaten judges over a ban on guns and your own guns get banned. Hal Turner gets pistol-whipped by karma. [Bloomberg]
* Obama is giving states the “flexibility” to drop federal health care reform by 2014 — that is, if the Supreme Court doesn’t hear the issue before then. [New York Times]
* Would you still eat a chick’s taco if she told you she was only 88% real woman? Taco Bell employs the tranny surprise method in its latest post-lawsuit ad campaign. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Yeah, we know Obama told us to stop defending DOMA. Well, we’re not defending DOMA, we’re just not not enforcing it. [San Jose Mercury News]
* I bet students at SMU Law are psyched that they’re going into massive loan debt so that they can pay their classmates’ salaries. [National Law Journal]
* Protip: if you ever get prosecuted for knowingly hiring illegal immigrants, just blame it on your Latino HR director. ¡Sí se puede! [Washington Post]
