This is the worst piece of whoring journalism I have read in a long time. How long are you going to suck [U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara]’s teat? All to hurt a decent, honest witness, [whom assistant U.S. attorney Reed] Brodsky could not lay a glove on. It did not work. The jury was not impressed by the worst cross examination ever delivered. So in the style of Preet, try to smear him by working the sycophants in the back of the Courtroom. He learned from Schumer in the Senate… Preet is scared sh[**]less he is going to lose this case so he feeds his whores at the WSJ. What a disgrace for an otherwise great paper.
– John Dowd, partner at Akin Gump and defense lawyer to Raj Rajaratnam, in an irate email to Wall Street Journal reporter Chad Bray.
Ralph Richard Banks
Let us sit upon the ground and tell sad stories about black women. Things can be tough. African-American women get all of the sexism white women have to deal with, and all of the racism black men have to deal with. Successful black men tend to fulfill their own self-loathing destiny by running away from black women (not me, I’m married to one). Cultural representations of them are used to sell syrup or chicken, or involve a black dude dressed up in a fat suit (if William Tecumseh Sherman were still alive, he’d be waging war against Martin Lawrence and Tyler Perry). And law professors at prestigious universities try to profiteer off of their difficulties.
That last one is somewhat recent. But I don’t know how else to describe the new book by a Stanford Law professor, Ralph Richard Banks. His upcoming book is entitled Is Marriage for White People? (affiliate link).
Now, if I were a blogger looking to make a quick buck, that’s exactly the kind of book I’d write. In fact, look for my upcoming book, “Why White People Can Afford To Piss Away Time & Money in Law School, But Blacks Can’t.”
But Ralph Banks isn’t a blogger, he’s a Stanford Law professor. Shouldn’t we expect less sensationalized bullcrap from him?
Continue reading “Stanford Law School: Why Are Your Professors Writing Books That Sound Like They’ve Been Written By Bloggers?”
Earlier this month, we asked you: Who are this year’s celebrity summer associates? In recent years, major law firms have hosted famous figures as summer associates, including a successful author and reality TV hottie.
This summer, sadly, the celebrity wattage seems to be considerably lower. Biglaw is less big than it was a few years ago, and landing a summer associate gig isn’t easy, even for the famous. But we still have a few names to pass along (and welcome additional submissions, by email).
This morning Elie referenced one of my favorite films: Mean Girls, starring the talented but now tormented Lindsay Lohan. This reminded me of one of our celebrity summers, who has had the pleasure of acting alongside LiLo. Unlike his famous co-star, however, he is now studying the law rather than breaking it.
Who is he, where is he a law student, and where is he working this summer? Let’s find out….
Continue reading “Celebrity Summer Associate: An Ex-Colleague of Lindsay Lohan”
Are we sick of studying yet? Do you just want to get on with your life — make money, change the world, put in the hours at the office — as long as it doesn’t include more video lectures?
Well, sorry. Here at the Bar Review Diaries, we are still about five weeks away from the big test. As our columnist Michael Dulong says, it’s still too far away to start freaking out, but it’s too close to keep slacking off.
Keep reading to see how Mike, Christopher Curran and Mariah Ford are trying to stay motivated…
Continue reading “Bar Review Diaries: Where Is My Motivation?”
I’ve said before that I think that parents need to teach their kids coping mechanisms to deal with bullying from their peers. But it might be foolhardy to expect Baby Boomer parents to instill any kind of internal strength in their children.
Instead, it’s much more likely that the only thing kids these days will learn from their parents will be how to sue those who annoy them. At least, that’s the message one Houston man is teaching his daughter. After a group of middle-school girls apparently posted some nasty comments about his daughter on YouTube, the father — who is also an attorney — sent the girls a cease-and-desist letter. When he didn’t receive a response to the letter, he sued the mean girls for defamation.
For those playing along at home: mean middle-school girls bully other girl, so father uses the law to bully middle-school girls. The only satisfactory ending to this story would be if the fathers of the three defendant girls went over to the lawyer’s house and hoisted him on a flagpole by his underwear….
Continue reading “Dad v. Mean Girls”
For women, summertime is full of difficult decisions: Which swimsuit should I buy? Which sandals should I wear? Do they match my swimsuit? Are my sunglasses too big? Are they making me look like a bug? How should I wear my hair? What time should I go lay out? How much sunscreen should I wear? Should I wear any at all? Ohmigod, my skin is orange… do I look like Snooki?
But for some women, these important decisions take a back seat to the ultimate goal of getting a tan. Some women are like honey badgers: They’re just crazy. They don’t care. They don’t give a sh*t. They just want to lay out in the sun, be it on the beach, beside the pool, or on a rusty old lounge chair in their backyard. Sunburns be damned, because they just want to catch some rays.
And this, my friends, is where the trouble allegedly started for Robin Corrente…
Continue reading “She Wore an Itsy, Bitsy, Teeny, Weenie, Third-Degree Bust Burn Bikini…”
Because explaining things to people isn’t always enough, God created infographics. Sure, “infographic” is a modern-sounding internet word, but the concept has been used since time immemorial. I’m sure the first cave drawing was done by a smart guy trying to explain the concept of hunting to a dumbass.
I’ve been trying to explain the pitfalls of going to law school for years, but will forevermore be thankful to Professors Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit for pointing me in the direction of this extremely helpful infographic. Basically, if you took everything I’ve ever written about law schools and distilled it into a picture, it wouldn’t be very long.
And it would look something like this…
Continue reading “A Visual Representation of the Law School Bubble”
What happens in Vegas, doesn't always stay in Vegas.
* The Warner Brothers legal department sure knows a quick way to cure a Hangover. The film’s tattoo copyright issue has been settled out of court. [Hollywood Reporter]
* Just how much does a Las Vegas herpes infection cost these days? $5M, but only if you’re a celebrity and you’re willing to settle to keep your name STD-free in the eyes of the public. [Daily Mail]
* Bud Selig either really hates the Dodgers, or he really hates Frank McCourt. As if being worse than the Pirates isn’t bad enough, the Dodgers’ ownership is now back up in the air. [Los Angeles Times]
* Memo to file for judges: if you’re trying to woo a public defender with gag sex books, a) you’re doing it wrong, and b) recuse yourself first if you like your job. [ABA Journal]
* Move over Groupon, because this law firm is giving away free divorces via Twitter. If you hate your spouse, sign up quickly, because this deal only lasts until June 30. [Daily Mail]
* According to Judge Arthur Alarcón, California will be able to stop writing IOUs if it abolishes the death penalty. Death row inmates now look forward to an IOU on their expectancies. [CNN Money]
* E-pimping is a pretty interesting hobby for a physics professor, right? This guy has been charged with 40 counts of promoting prostitution. I miss New Jersey. [The Record]
Some people in the class of 2010 will see this before they see a job.
Don’t look now, but in a few weeks, on-campus interviewing will get started on law school campuses across the country. That’s right — in about a month, law firms will start interviewing people they think they’ll have work for in the fall of 2013. I don’t know where the north pole will be in fall 2013, but law firms are supposed to know how many junior associates they’ll need more than two years from now?
Was this system designed by Nostradamus?
Under this employment system, there are winners and there are losers. Most of the people in the class of 2011 who have contacted us about their start dates have reported that they’ll be starting their Biglaw careers on time in the fall of 2011. That is good news. But even though we’ve moved far from the worst of the recession, there are still firms that are deferring their incoming classes.
In fact, at one firm, some members of the class of 2011 will be starting before members of the class of 2010…
Continue reading “Firms That Are Still Deferring People Into 2012″
* David J. Stern, the dethroned Florida foreclosure king, will now have to go up against the Florida Bar. Too bad he can’t robo-produce all of the documents they want. [Fort Lauderdale Examiner]
* Peeing on a colleague’s door might have been a great prank in college, but as a professional it’s just sad. Enjoy that $35K bench warrant. [TaxProf Blog]
* Male lawyers work hard and then get a bad rap for not spending more time with their families. Men, do you care more about work/life balance or making money? [The Careerist]
* You can get suspended for doing in law school what transactional attorneys do in real life: borrow from forms. No harm, no foul, because the school recently lost its accreditation. [ABA Journal]
* Folks, it just became a little easier for your clients to buy you dinner. Now all you have to do is press a button, and food will appear. [Gizmodo]
* Dr. and Mrs. Viswanathan — parents of Kaavya Viswanathan, the high-profile Georgetown law student and S&C summer associate — RIP. [New Jersey Newsroom]
One of [my handlers during my confirmation process] said, ‘You know, you might want to apologize for some of the things you wrote.’ I said to him, ‘Can we get one thing straight? I am not apologizing.’
I’ve lived the life I’ve wanted to live. I’ve said the things I’ve wanted to say. If you really want me to say I’m sorry, I’ll say, ‘I’m sorry that my life’s work has been misunderstood.’
– Harold Koh, current Legal Adviser to the State Department and former Dean of Yale Law School, in recent remarks he delivered at the American Constitution Society’s annual convention. (In the same speech, Koh voiced support for Yale Law graduate Goodwin Liu, whose Ninth Circuit nomination was successfully filibustered.)
Kids running a lemonade stand: victims of overregulation? (Photo by Lat.)
When I was a little kid, my cousin and I set up a produce stand in front of my grandparents’ house. Splayed out on an uneven card table, we offered a variety of bruised, battered, and misshapen produce. From an oblong cantaloupe to a nicked-up watermelon, our “stand” carried the bounty of my grandfather’s patch of land, located somewhere on the Island of Misfit Fruit. My grandmother bought the cantaloupe, the watermelon ended up being thrown at my head, and we closed up shop after two hours of intense dumbf**kery.
I tell you this because my own experience suggests that (a) children are neither cute nor intelligent and (b) kids’ efforts to make money selling stuff are always doomed to failure. And so it was that a band of towheaded tykes got jacked by county officials when they attempted to sell lemonade and other beverages outside the Congressional Country Club golf course, site of this year’s U.S. Open. The kids were fined $500 by the Montgomery County Department of Permitting, for operating without a license.
Let’s go to the tape….
Continue reading “Milk, Milk, Lemonade, Around The Corner…”
What is this, a law school for ants?
If the American Bar Association was serious about protecting its members, it’d be trying to do something to stop the influx of market-depressing new attorneys. America might need more lawyers willing to work for next to nothing to help those who can’t currently afford legal representation, but the last thing current attorneys need is even more law school graduates competing for the few paid positions available. Let the Obama administration start some kind of Americorps program for attorneys; the ABA should be concerned about keeping the supply of attorneys competing in the private market down around levels that come within shouting distance of demand.
(Of course, the ABA is still trying to figure out how to keep member institutions from lying to the ABA. I’m not going to hold my breath waiting for the ABA to figure this one out.)
Instead, it looks like some law schools are starting to voluntarily reduce the sizes of their incoming classes. We reported on two schools, Albany Law and Touro, doing this back in March, and it seems that the trend is continuing.
I guess there are only so many disgruntled, unemployed graduates these schools want walking around griping about their legal education (or suing them over it)….
Continue reading “Trendspotting: Will Law School Start Decreasing The Supply of Unemployable New Lawyers?”
For those of you who have missed Deidre Dare, the expat lawyer who was terminated from the Moscow office of Allen & Overy after writing a smutty steamy online novel, give thanks. She’s baaaaaack.
Deidre “To Russia With Donkey and Dwarf Love” Dare is struggling with the cash flow these days. The Columbia Law grad’s London lawsuit against Magic Circle firm A&O for unfair termination in its Russia office was dismissed for lack of jurisdiction, so she filed a new complaint in New York. As you might expect from an amateur sex novelist, the complaint is rather juicy. Dare (a.k.a. Deidre Clark), who was a senior attorney in A&O’s London, Singapore and Moscow offices from 2007 to 2009, claims that she was terminated after giving into — and later spurning — her supervising partner’s sexual advances. (Excerpt: “[Tony] Humphrey made sexual advances on Clark, who was intoxicated at the time. This conduct included intimate sexual contact. Humphrey kept saying “I love sex.”)
Dare is upping the ante on the lawsuit. In London, she sued for £3.5m, but in her Big Apple lawsuit, she’s hoping to take a bigger bite out of A&O: namely, $35 million in punitive and compensatory damages.
“I think NY will take jurisdiction,” Dare, a member of the New York Bar, told us by email. “And thank god for that.”
In the meantime, Dare is working on another project that is, er, rather racy….
Continue reading “Deidre Dare Wants $$$ For Her Sexy Little Adventure Story”
Do I look like “Dear Abby”?
Somehow, because I’m working in-house and writing this column, I’ve become the adviser to the disaffected. A correspondent now asks: “I’ve worked at a Biglaw firm for several years, am at the end of my rope, and am interviewing for an in-house job next week. How will an interview for an in-house job differ from a Biglaw interview?”
I have three reactions: First, the interview may not be different at all. The in-house lawyers who are interviewing you may be veterans of Biglaw, and they may not have changed their interview styles when they changed jobs. Being qualified and pleasant may be plenty to land the job, as it is at many large law firms that are hiring new associates wholesale.
But the interview may be different in two ways that you should consider….
Continue reading “Inside Straight: Biglaw Versus In-House Interviews”
As many of you know, here at Above the Law we have been tracking which major law firms offer a non-salary benefit that we’ve dubbed the gay gross-up. As we’ve previously explained, quoting a memo issued by Simpson Thacher, the gay gross-up is “[a] ‘gross-up’ for employees who enroll same-sex partners in the Firm’s health benefits plans to offset any federal, state and local income taxes paid on the value of the partners’ benefits which heterosexual spouses are not subject to.”
Today we are pleased to report that two top firms have joined the club. Kudos to Debevoise & Plimpton and Shearman & Sterling for standing on the side of equality. You can read their announcement memos, issued earlier this month, after the jump.
We have added these firms to our list. By the way, for those firms that would rather appear on a list maintained by the New York Times than one maintained by Above the Law, you should note that the NYT is also monitoring which workplaces provide this perk. The NYT list includes employers of many different types, not just law firms, and features some of the nation’s most innovative companies, such as Google and Facebook and Apple.
With the addition of Debevoise and Shearman, which leading law firms provide this benefit? Let’s take a look….
Continue reading “Biglaw Perk Watch: The Gay Gross-Up Gains Traction”
As you probably know, the Boston Bruins won their first Stanley Cup since the Nixon Administration. I’m no kind of hockey fan, but as a Boston sports fan, I took a passing interest in it. Which is to say that I watched Game 7 on Wednesday. Mine was a short ride on the bandwagon. (I mean, it’s June. It’s baseball time.)
But Boston is a big sports town, having now won all three major North American sports championships (plus hockey, see what I did there?) in just a seven-year span. The closest any other city has come to that is 11 years (and that’s New York, with two teams in each sport).
But to be fair, the Bruins do have many fans in the Boston area. (Although apparently an entire season was recently canceled because of labor strife, and I’m pretty sure no one noticed.) Many of those fans made their way into Boston on Saturday to watch the Bruins’ victory boat. Police estimated that a million people came into the city to celebrate. Many of them parked in my suburban neighborhood, because we live near the end of one of the subway lines. Because that’s what you want: scads of drunken hockey fans parking in front of your house. Could have been worse, though; in Vancouver, the fans of the runner-up Canucks basically set the place on fire.
But some fans had trouble getting into town because of spotty rail service, and they weren’t too happy about it. What important lesson does this hold for small-firm lawyers?
Continue reading “Small Firms, Big Lawyers: Tell Them Why the Trains Are Late”
We just learned, via the SCOTUSblog liveblog of today’s proceedings at the Supreme Court, that Wal-Mart v. Dukes has been decided. Here is some background about the case, one of the most closely watched of this Term, and here is the opinion of the Court.
Justice Scalia wrote the opinion of the Court, which was joined in its entirety by Chief Justice Roberts and Justices Kennedy, Thomas, and Alito. SCOTUS reversed the Ninth Circuit and held that class action certification should not have been granted in this case, brought on behalf of hundreds of thousands of female Wal-Mart employees who alleged a pattern and practice of pay and promotion discrimination by the giant retailer.
Justice Ginsburg filed an opinion concurring in part and dissenting in part, which was joined by Justices Breyer, Sotomayor, and Kagan. What did RBG have to say?
Continue reading “Supreme Court Rejects Nationwide Class Action Against Wal-Mart”
Somewhere in America, another man who has been embarrassed by an overpriced manicure is clapping (albeit carefully, so that he doesn’t chip his nail polish).
Norris Sydnor III, a 43-year-old Maryland man, is suing his nail salon for $200,000 after being charged $10 for a manicure, when women beside him were being charged only $9 for the same service. A judge issued an injunction on June 15 which ordered the salon to stop charging men more than women. A trial is set for July 21.
When I first read about this lawsuit, I was jealous, because my manicures usually cost $15. I want a $9 manicure, and I don’t want to have to drive to Maryland to get one. My jealousy, however, turned to rage when I found out that Sydnor’s lawyer, Jimmy Bell, is comparing his client to Rosa Parks.
Is this guy seriously suing over one dollar? And is his lawyer actually comparing him to one of the revolutionaries of the civil rights era? The answer to both of those questions, sadly, is yes, and I’m pissed off about it. In fact, I was so pissed off that I actually did some research about this lawsuit. And boy, am I glad that I did…
Continue reading “Lawsuit of the Day: Putting the ‘Man’ Back in Manicure”
* Because there’s nothing funny about being a political prisoner in Iran for this long, I’m going to pull a Juggalo and show you a kitten stuck in a hamster ball. [New York Times]
* Lawyers on television used to be pretty bland, so I’m glad I grew up in the era of Ally McBeal’s dancing baby. [Wall Street Journal]
* Unlike the pro boxer who took one too many left hooks and decided to go to law school, this kid is going to hit it out of the park by ditching law school to play pro baseball. [ABA Journal]
* If at first you don’t succeed, you can try all you want, but Michael Douglas’ Wall Street 2 money will never sleep for his ex-wife, at least in New York. [Hollywood Reporter]
* For lawyers in Israel, life’s a bitch and then you die. And then you turn into a bitch. And then you get sentenced to die. Moral of the story: don’t piss off judges in Jerusalem. [BBC News]
* Another lawsuit in a case of walking while black in New York, but this time, parents got involved. When you make fun of a man’s son for crying like a girl, you get punched in the face. Allegedly. [New York Daily News]
* More and more law grads are going solo, and apparently, the best way to convince others to do so is to brag about your “bigger than Biglaw” salary. [MSNBC]
