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Love Hurts, Especially When Your Boyfriend Gives You a ‘Tatt-poo’

UPDATE (5 PM): Sigh. According to the Smoking Gun, the “poop tattoo” story — reported by The Sun and picked up by Drudge, among many other outlets — is full of crap. But it was fun while it lasted, no?

Some people love tattoos, other people hate them. I’m one of those “other people.” I have no idea why people would want to turn their bodies into coloring books. But if people want to permanently decorate themselves, then by all means, go right ahead.

Besides, if people weren’t so obsessed with inking their bodies, we wouldn’t have awesome lawsuits like this one to talk about. Here’s some background information before we get into the heart of this case:

Boy, a tattoo artist, meets Girl. Girl is a nerd who has a thing for Narnia. Boy and Girl fall in love. Girl decides that in addition to Narnia, she has a thing for Boy’s best friend. Girl cheats on Boy, thinking Boy is none the wiser. Girl asks Boy for a Narnia tattoo. Boy finds out Girl’s dirty secret, and begins to plot his revenge….

In this love story gone bad, Boy is played by Ryan Fitzjerald, and Girl is played by Rossie Brovent. Fitzjerald and Brovent are from Dayton, Ohio, and they may or may not be trailer park residents. I hope that they are, because that would just add to the overall glamor of this trashy story.

So, what happens when you’re expecting a Narnia tattoo, but you’ve broken your tattoo artist’s heart? Something like this:

Holy crap. Literally. That’s a giant, steaming pile of sh*t with flies buzzing around it. Quite the tramp stamp, if you ask me.

Needless to say, Brovent is now suing Fitzjerald for $100,000. You’d sue, too, if you got punk’d this badly. The Sun has more information:

Rossie originally tried to have her ex-lover charged with assault but she had signed a consent form agreeing the tattoo design was “at the artist’s discretion,”

She said: “He tricked me by drinking a bottle of cheap wine with me and doing tequila shots before I signed it and got the tattoo.”

“Actually I was passed out for most of the time, and woke up to this horrible image on my back.”

Don’t you hate it when bad contracts exam scenarios actually happen in real life? Hopefully Brovent has learned her lesson: don’t be a cheating piece of sh*t, because karma’s a bitch.

UPDATE (5 PM): As noted above, it appears that this story is full of crap (per the Smoking Gun).

Tatt-poo for cheating [The Sun]
Tattoo Artist Facing Civil Lawsuit [Very Weird News]

(hidden for your protection)

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