Benchslaps, Cardozo Law School, Hotties, Rod Blagojevich

Blago’s Class of 2007 Lawyer: A ‘Harebrained’ Hottie?

Landing a huge case is what all lawyers dream about. For most lawyers, the planets never align, and that dream never becomes a reality. But for one lawyer — a lawyer who was admitted to the bar when the legal job market began its downward spiral — that dream came true, just a few years after having graduated from law school.

Sometimes, however, dreams turn into nightmares. When you’re representing a notorious client like Rod Blagojevich, your successes might soon turn into failures.

Who is the (rather attractive) class of 2007 lawyer representing Blago, and why did a judge characterize her recent courtroom stylings as “harebrained”?

So, who’s the mystery woman we’re talking about?

None other than Lauren Kaeseberg, a 2007 graduate of Cardozo Law. She was admitted to the bar in 2008, and by the luck of the draw, she was hired to join Blago’s team of lawyers during his first trial, which ended in a mistrial on a majority of counts. She continued the representation through the former Governor’s retrial, where he was found guilty on most counts. Oh, and did we mention that she appears to be a hottie?

Kaeseberg was back in the news this week after a judge denied her request for a third trial for Blagojevich — at warp speed. The Lake County News-Sun has more:

U.S. District Judge James Zagel took a mere three minutes Monday morning to dismiss a motion by former Gov. Rod Blagojevich’s attorneys as “harebrained.”

Blagojevich’s attorneys sought a new trial based on a report that the jury forewoman had displayed a juror questionnaire in a public talk she gave about the trial. Those questionnaires are not supposed to be taken from court, Blagojevich’s attorney said.

It is unclear whether the forewoman displayed a filled-out or blank questionnaire.

Three minutes? Someone needs to give Judge Zagel an award for being the fastest benchslapper in the Midwest. His Honor also had this to say of Kaeseberg’s filing: “The motion was prepared without any adequate thought. You should seek outside counsel . . . and send a letter of apology to the juror.”

Zagel isn’t the only one who’s been slapping Kaeseberg around for her apparently thoughtless motion. She’s been getting attacked on her website by members of the public:

Be sure you put all of the positive press for wasting the taxpayers dollars with your harebrained request for a new trial based on a blank juror questionnaire being shown to high school students.

And here’s another gem from a Cardozo Law alumnus, which we certainly hope is sarcastic: “You make me proud to be a fellow Cardozo Grad!! We were trained to fight for all of the innocent criminals out there, if we keep working hard no one will ever be found guilty, what a wonderful world that will be.”

What a wonderful world, indeed. That’s probably a world where everyone sends out generic greeting card templates, eh Cardozo?

So what did Kaeseberg have to say about all of this? Here’s more from the News-Sun:

I stand by the motion — the motion was absolutely filed in good faith. Frankly, I’m disappointed because I know we filed this motion in good faith . . . I’m proud of the work I’ve done on this case . . . I’m actually proud of the motion.

Girl, we think that you should consider changing your hairstyle before you file your next motion. That Snooki poof seems to be sucking the intelligence right out of your head.

Judge calls effort to get new trial for Blagojevich ‘harebrained’ [Lake County News-Sun]
Bio [Lauren F. Kaeseberg Attorney at Law]

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