March 2012

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Career Center: How to Evaluate a Job Offer

With lateral hiring picking up in various areas, there’s a decent chance that all the hard work you put into the job-hunting process will pay off with a job offer. But before you rush into accepting an offer, the experienced recruiters at Lateral Link have come up with the top three factors to consider when deciding whether a new job is right for you....

9th Circuit

Morning Docket: 03.06.12

* Due process, judicial process, yeah, yeah, same difference. Not so, says Attorney General Eric Holder — especially when it comes to assassinating killing Americans abroad. [Blog of Legal Times] * Now that BP has settled claims made by private sector plaintiffs, state and federal government lawyers are getting ready to wait “months, not weeks” for their new trial date. [Financial Times] * Newt Gingrich wants his “Eye of the Tiger” copyright infringement suit to be dismissed. Listen, judge, if he can’t play this song, we won’t get our moon base or cheaper gas. [The Caucus / New York Times] * As if being a Mets fan wasn’t bad enough on its own, Judge Jed Rakoff has struck again. He refused to dismiss Irving Picard’s lawsuit, and now the team’s owners must go to trial over millions. [Businessweek] * Lawyers from Milberg will be joining Paul Ceglia’s legal team. They must not have checked this dude’s Facebook timeline — this is the the fifth firm to sign up for a Gibson Dunn sucker punch. [Bloomberg] * Thanks to a decision by a three-judge panel of the Ninth Circuit, Jared Loughner will continue to be forcibly medicated. What better way to restore him to competency than to shove pills down his throat? [Reuters]

Bar Exams

The Latest in Disingenuous Statistics From a Law School No Longer Concerned With Its Credibility

Law schools always seem to be speaking to the dumbest audience possible. They’re certainly not addressing the smartest guys in the room. They’re not even trying to speak to average, reasonable people. Instead, law schools seem to be talking at the very slowest people who might qualify for their programs, to people who have an irrational fear not just of “math,” but of “numbers” themselves....

Death Penalty

Non-Sequiturs: 03.05.12

* Dear readers, legal pundits, regular pundits, and the public at large: Please stop with this nonsense of how Sandra Fluke should sue Rush Limbaugh. Because I swear to God, if you guys make me indirectly defend Limbaugh, I will wear you guys out like the dirty little sluts you are. [Politico] * Which founding partner of a major law firm has abs of steel? [Dealbreaker] * A ranking of top moot court programs. I wouldn’t be surprised if the schools that are best at moot court are the schools that spend the most time lying to their students about how there’s a single goddamn employer out there who cares about moot court. [TaxProf Blog] * People think I hate cops, but I have nothing on Republicans in the Indiana House of Representatives. Those guys are such cop haters that they want to pass a law to make it okay to kill them if they enter your house. All I want is to be able to get away with saying “yo’ mama” if they try to falsely arrest you in your own home. [Recess Appointments] * This legal assistant reminds me of what Lane Pryce might have said if he had been sacked for a job as a legal assistant. [Roll on Friday] * Really, it’s the pro-death penalty crowd that wants us to be more like Communist China. [A Public Defender] * Congratulations to the new leaders at Ms. JD. [Ms. JD] * Michigan man sues movie theater for overpriced snacks. He’s not suing for amount they charge to see movies over the past atrocious season, he just wants to spend less while he’s sucking down Goobers and watching them. (One quick side note on the Oscars ’cause I was sick last week: F*** you, Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Maybe they should re-release Margin Call with Zach Quinto replaced by a French mime so you guys might notice something at least 1% of this country cares about.) [Huffington Post]

Associate Bonus Watch 2011

Associate Bonus Watch: Paul Hastings

In terms of firm finances, Paul Hastings had a perfectly decent 2011. Revenue and profits were fairly stable; on the bright side, revenue per lawyer surpassed the $1 million mark for the first time. So how are those revenue-generating worker bees being compensated? Bonuses are out at Paul Hastings. How are PH associates reacting?