Biglaw, Email Scandals, Fashion, Fashion Is Fun, Hair, Masturbation, Rudeness

A Clifford Chance Senior Associate Begs a Colleague to Stop Masturbating to Him Via ‘Reply All’

We’ve written time and again about the dangers of using the reply-all email function, but it seems that those in Biglaw just can’t take the hint. It’s how allegedly lecherous Quinn Emanuel partners get outed. It’s how apparently discontent MoFo partners share their feelings about the firm. It’s how Skadden partners make their evaluations of associates less than confidential.

And now, it’s how senior associates at Clifford Chance implore their colleagues to stop furiously masturbating to them….

RollOnFriday has the scoop on what’s going on today at the Abu Dhabi office of Clifford Chance:

Inder Choitram

Inder Choitram, a senior associate at Clifford Chance, was interviewed by Time Out Abu Dhabi. He’s looks all sechsy and goes on about getting his hair cut at ManAge and hanging out at the Yacht Club. It’s the sort of profile of which his partners will be very envious.

Damn, check this guy out, he is sechsy! The Time Out interview makes Choitram, a British chap, sound like quite the debonair gentleman. Come on, his personal style icons are Cary Grant, Frank Sinatra, and Tom Ford. He favors “[a] crisp white shirt and a well-cut suit.” He even likes dogs with dignified names (his own is called Charlie, perhaps named after the Prince of Wales).

With that kind of a résumé, you’d think that Choitram would appreciate a coworker’s efforts to spread the word about his fabulosity to the rest of the Abu Dhabi office. But that’s where you’d be wrong — dead wrong. Instead of politely thanking his colleague for bringing the article to everyone’s attention via email, he fired off this boorish, office-wide response, via “reply all”:

From: Choitram, Inder (Finance and Projects-AUD)
Sent: 30 May 2012 15:16
To: Watt, Graham (Corporate-AUD); #Aud: Everybody
Subject: RE: Gold

G, when you are done internet-stalking me, I have a copy of the magazine in my office (it came out while you were away). Am fairly sure the pages are stuck together on the one you have at home, so feel free to come by and see the article (and magazine cover) after you have finished touching yourself and have thoroughly washed your hands.

Inder

Inder Choitram
Senior Associate

Clifford Chance LLP
9th Floor
Al Sila Tower
Sowwah Square
PO Box 26492
Abu Dhabi
United Arab Emirates

How… refined. Well, at least Choitram expects proper masturbatory etiquette to be used.

Clifford Chance declined to comment on this story. Maybe they weren’t quite finished washing their hands?

Clifford Chance lawyer sends outraged, masturbatory email [RollOnFriday]
Style in Abu Dhabi [Time Out Abu Dhabi]

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