In the movie “Wedding Crashers,” Vince Vaughn’s character introduced the term “motorboating” to a global audience, through a tirade about being forced to grope an older woman’s breasts. In case you’re not familiar with the term (and we don’t know why you wouldn’t be), you can find its definition at the Urban Dictionary.

Now, you may be asking, what’s wrong with a good old-fashioned motorboating? You’d assume that the breastacular event would be enjoyable for both parties.

But apparently the fun stops when a man allegedly endures a rodeo of unwanted sexual advances from his female boss that crescendos in two occasions of forced motorboating. So before you can say, “You motorboatin’ son of a b*tch!,” let’s see what’s going on deep in the heart of Texas.

It’s a sexual harassment lawsuit for the ages….

Galveston County Constable Pam Matranga stands accused of making overt sexual overtures to former Deputy James Gist while in the workplace. ABC News has more:

The lawsuit reads like the script for a sexual harassment in the workplace video, but a former Texas deputy said the unwanted sexual advances from his female constable went too far.

Galveston County Constable Pam Matranga made lewd and suggestive advances to Deputy James Gist, including forcing his head into her breasts on two occasions, according to his complaint.

According to the Houston Press, the allegations in Gist’s suit include “some of the worst euphemisms for female genitalia [they've] heard.” Here’s just a modest sampling of Matranga’s alleged vaginaisms:

We can’t say that we’ve ever heard of female genitalia being referred to as a “cannooki” or a “duck taco,” but if you imagine Melissa McCarthy’s character from “Bridesmaids” saying these lines, it’s pure comedy gold.

And what about the allegations of forced motorboating? Gist neatly sums up the events like so: “Defendant Matranga walked up behind Plaintiff and pulled her shirt over Plaintiff’s head and held him in a headlock for several seconds, placing Plaintiff’s head in Defendant Matranga’s cleavage.”

Yeehaw! Apparently Matranga likes it from behind? It seems like the only motorboating that was going on here was Gist shaking his head as he tried to escape from Matranga’s buxom clutches. But Gist’s not the only thing that allegedly escaped from Matranga’s not-so private parts:

To help you ponder the ways that Matranga can get a man, we’ll share with you some photos of her — as well as her defense to the allegations, and James Gist’s full complaint….


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