Attorney Misconduct, Crime, Drinking, Litigatrix, Violence

‘Apparently Intoxicated’ Prosecutor Allegedly Takes a Literal Bite Out of Crime at an Adult Store

You know it’s going to be a great day when you get to write about allegations of attorney misconduct that took place at a store that markets itself as a “purveyor of adult accoutrements, toys and lingerie.”

Do you remember Courtney King, the Ice Miller attorney who allegedly told the police to Google her before she was arrested? Well, today we’ve got another tale of a female attorney who allegedly attempted to pull rank during what seems to have been a rather drunken escapade in Chicago. Trust me, girl, the hangover is going to be that much worse for a prosecutor who has become the prosecutee.

Just because you were allegedly causing a ruckus in an adult store doesn’t mean that you have to go all BDSM on everyone, and start biting people when you’re asked to leave….

The Chicago Tribune has the story about Sarah Naughton, an Illinois assistant state’s attorney and 2008 graduate of John Marshall Law School, who was charged with misdemeanor battery and misdemeanor criminal trespass after a disturbance at Taboo Tabou. Naughton entered the store with a companion, Bradley Gould, and that’s when all the fun allegedly started:

Taboo Tabou owner Mark Thomas said as soon the couple entered the store, the manager “knew they were trouble.’’

“They managed to get 10 or 12 feet into the store and she could tell they had diminished capacity,’’ he said. “We’ve been around since 1986, we’ve gone through skin heads, drug dealers, drunken Cubs fans, we’ve been through it all.”

Unfortunately, it seems that they’d never encountered an “apparently intoxicated” prosecutor before.

After asking the pair to leave, Taboo Tabou’s manager recruited the assistance of a manager from Blue Havana, a nearby cigar shop, because Naughton and Gould thought it would be better to exit, and then pound on the storefront’s windows. According to allegations reported in the Chicago Sun-Times, when the Blue Havana manager tried to intervene, Naughton pulled out a badge and retorted: “You can’t do this to me. Do you know who I am?”

At that point, would it really have mattered who she was? Thomas alleges Naughton and Gould were “giving the finger to everybody who walked by,” and generally “acting like jackasses.” Thereafter, according to law enforcement, “chaos ensued”: Gould took a swing at Blue Havana’s manager, while Naughton fell during the dust-up, but took the opportunity to bite the employee’s leg while on the ground, breaking the skin.

NBC Chicago managed to find a video of what happened after the police arrived on scene. The woman featured (purportedly Naughton) seems to be wearing a suit and is missing a shoe. While seated on the ground in cuffs, she makes several guttural screams, complains that she can’t feel her hands, and then begins to call the female officer various names after she sees that she’s not going to get her way:

Naughton was placed on administrative leave, and won’t be allowed to litigate cases until an internal investigation is complete, which may be a good thing. Naughton’s alleged behavior gives a whole new, literal meaning to the term “ankle-biter” — and it seems like this prosecutor’s bite is much worse than her bark.

Prosecutor on leave after accused of biting man at adult store [Chicago Tribune]
Off-duty Cook County prosecutor accused of biting man’s leg outside lingerie shop [Chicago Sun-Times]
County Prosecutor Accused of Biting Man’s Leg Outside Lingerie Shop [NBC Chicago]

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