Like many of today’s celebrities, Britney Spears has had her fair share of legal troubles — except hers are a little crazier than your average Lohan-esque criminal case. From child custody hearings to conservatorships, our favorite pop tart has seen it all. Given that she’s been in and out of court so many times, you knew that she’d eventually become romantically entangled with a lawyer.
As luck would have it, Brit-Brit was caught by the paparazzi last week while out on a romantic Valentine’s Day date with a mysterious suitor. This time, as opposed to being a back-up dancer or an agent, Ms. Spears’s new love interest is reportedly (gasp!) an average joe, who just so happens to work for a law firm.
So what does he do? Well, that’s actually up for debate….
Our go-to source for celebrity gossip, TMZ, claims this of Britney’s rebound guy (she recently broke up with her fiancé), a 27-year-old Atlanta native:
He is a very normal guy. His name is David. He works for a law firm — he’s not a lawyer — does “field research” … kind of a jack-of-all-trades. He’s definitely not a wealthy guy.
Oops! She did it again, and to think, poor Britney was getting away with telling everyone she was dating someone who worked at a law firm, without saying what he actually did. Because in all honesty, when you say “he works at a law firm,” people just assume that the guy’s a lawyer and not some random back-office dude who does “field research.” Admit it ladies, you once tried to pass off a paralegal as a lawyer by saying he worked at a law firm. Everyone’s done it; not all the guys you date need to be dripping with prestige.
Which brings us to our next question: what the hell does “field research” even consist of? Dave should just come right out and say that he’s a private investigator for this law firm. That sounds a little sexier, no? Otherwise, since everyone wants a piece of her, people will think our pal Dave’s doing “field research” on hooking up with celebrity MILFs so he can write an exposé (coming to an e-book no one will read near you!).
Concerned citizens who have loved the Queen of Auto-Tune since the 90s think Britney should be cautious around this guy, especially considering that Dave’s job likely involves doing things the paparazzi could only dream of in their wildest fantasies — stalking prey, taking covert pictures, and tapping phone calls to dig up the necessary dirt on targets. Oh wait, the paparazzi already do that. No further concerns from this camp.
Anyway, so long as Davey-boy’s not a womanizer, perhaps he’ll stick with Britney for the long haul.