I should have gone to law school instead of doing the e-learning.

– Dan Sandler, commenting on a career alternative he might have pursued had he not become an anti-Semitic street performer in an Elmo costume. Sandler was recently charged with grand larceny, aggravated harassment, and stalking, after allegedly attempting to extort $2 million from the Girl Scouts of the USA.

(On second thought, he’d like to “continue doing [his] Elmo gig because [he] make[s] a lot of money.” Ideally, he’d like to do it for the rest of his life.)


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