White Woman Learns What It's Like To Be A Black Mother, Sues

Woman sues because sperm bank turned her into a black person.

This story starts as a sperm bank horror story. A lesbian couple wanted to have a baby, and decided artificial insemination was the way to go. They pored over donor profiles, discussed with family and friends, and finally picked one specimen of biological material that was right for their family.

But the sperm bank sent over the wrong specimen, and didn’t figure out the mistake until the woman, Jennifer Cramblett, was well into her pregnancy. Terrible, right? The sperm bank apologized and gave her a refund, which probably doesn’t even scratch their legal liability. But the woman carried the baby to term and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.

Now, two years later, Cramblett wants to sue. The sperm donor mixup really should be enough to support her claims for wrongful birth and breach of warranty. But Cramblett has added a surprising twist to her protestations of harm. It turns out that the incorrect donor was black. Cramblett now claims emotional distress because her family and town are too racially intolerant for her to raise a mixed-race daughter in their midst…

The Chicago Tribune reports on Cramblett’s “fears” and “anxieties” about raising her daughter:

Cramblett was raised around people with stereotypical attitudes about nonwhites, the lawsuit states, and did not know African-Americans until she attended college at the University of Akron…

She fears that her “all white and unconsciously insensitive family,” which has never been able to fully embrace Jennifer’s homosexuality, could have a negative effect on her daughter, according to the lawsuit.

“Though compelled to repress her individuality amongst family members, Payton’s differences are irrepressible, and Jennifer does not want Payton to feel stigmatized or unrecognized due simply to the circumstances of her birth,” the lawsuit states. “Jennifer’s stress and anxiety intensify when she envisions Payton entering an all-white school.”

Ha. Haha. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.. WELCOME TO THE SUCK, JENNIFER CRAMBLETT!!! It’s confusing, ain’t it, trying to figure out how to raise a non-white baby around all these crazy-ass white people. It is… EMOTIONALLY DISTRESSING!

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Sorry, sorry, it’s just, you have to try to see it from my perspective. This woman is suing people because she’s being forced to live the life of every black parent in this country. This woman couldn’t last two years in the shoes that millions of African-Americans walk every day before crying uncle. A suit like this illustrates how completely freaking clueless some white people are about what it’s like to be black in America.

Let me highlight just one part of her complaint that is just a small window into how the other 14% live:

24. As just one example, getting a young daughter’s hair cut is not particularly stressful for most mothers, but to Jennifer it is not a routine matter, because Payton has hair typical of an African American girl. To get a decent cut, Jennifer must travel to a black neighborhood, far from where she lives, where she is obviously different in appearance, and not overtly welcome.

No, getting a young daughter’s hair cut is INCREDIBLY STRESSFUL for most mothers… most African-American mothers, at least. Go watch Chris Rock’s movie Good Hair to get just a glimpse of the contradictory and frustrating social messaging black women and their daughters have to deal with. When do you relax your young daughter’s hair, if at all? You know if you do it too young, the chemicals can damage the still fusing skull. And that’s living in a world where you are constantly worried that somebody is going to call your daughter “ugly” or “nappy” because her hair doesn’t come out of Norse myth.

And this lady is bitching about having to drive across town and have black people look at her.

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Cramblett says that she used to live in a racially diverse town, Akron, but moved to someplace called Uniontown, which is not diverse because it had better schools. Now, her psychologist suggests that she move to a different town. The complaint also states: “Jennifer is well aware of the child psychology research and literature correlating intolerance and racism with reduced academic and psychological well-being of biracial children.”

YES. Sometimes, black parents have to make a whole different set of life choices just to avoid raising their kids in all-white communities. Do you know how long I looked for a racially diverse elementary school that also didn’t suck in an area I could borrow enough money to get into? WOULDN’T IT BE GREAT if racism were unacceptable in certain communities instead of having the mixed-race children be unacceptable!

Cramblett thinks her problem is the racial mismatch between her and her daughter. But her complaints are not really about the issues of raising a baby that doesn’t immediately look like the same race of the parent (a “problem” that every mixed-race couple has to overcome). Her issues are those that every parent of a non-white child has to deal with, regardless of the race of the parent. Diverse communities, good schools, racial antipathy from others, that’s just the world of raising a non-white baby.

Remember, this baby is still hers. It might be a shade darker than she anticipated, but genetically this baby is half hers and half some guy’s that she doesn’t know. She doesn’t have to raise the baby any differently than a “100% white” baby, but for the racism of those around her.

In essence, Cramblett isn’t suing because the sperm bank gave her the wrong sperm. She’s not even suing because she doesn’t like black babies. Cramblett is suing because the sperm bank turned her into a black person. They made her have to think and worry and stress like any other parent of a non-white child. The sperm bank took from her the white privilege that she thought was her birthright. Cramblett knows, just as well as I do, that her baby will be treated differently than a white baby. She just didn’t think she’d ever have to deal with it.

And, of course the sperm bank should pay for that. I hope they pay. Again, I’m inclined to think that simply mixing up donors would be enough to win this lawsuit; but since she brought race into it, I want to know what, precisely, we think it’s worth to go from being a parent of a white kid to being a parent of a non-white kid. How much economic loss are we willing to ring up for that? TELL ME. Then pay her. Then open up the f**king treasury and pay ever black mother the same goddamn price.

There’s a line in Remember the Titans (a great, saccharine, historically inaccurate movie) where the white guy is bitching at Denzel because his daughter was visiting when somebody threw a brick through Denzel’s window. Denzel tells the man that maybe he just got a glimpse into what his black daughters have to go through every day.

That’s how I feel about Jennifer Cramblett. I’m sorry for her distress, but welcome to the club.

Lawsuit: Wrong sperm delivered to lesbian couple [Chicago Tribune]