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This Is Not The Announcement You Were Looking For — See Also

Biglaw Firm Announces In-Person Requirements Instead Of Bonuses: Learn how to read the room, Reed Smith.

Paul, Weiss Rewards Employees With Market Value Bonuses: Gotta reward the associates that stuck by them somehow!

The Trend Setter Announces Bonuses!: Vartabedian Hester & Haynes bonuses are on the market scale!

Bonus Medley!: Skadden, Cleary Gottlieb, Debevoise & Plimpton, White & Case, Davis Polk, Baker Botts, and Proskauer.

DOJ Issues Charges After ‘Trump Whore’ Hoax: There are better ways to use your time in law school.

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Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 11.21.25

* Elon Musk ends his lawsuit against Wachtell. Wachtell stresses that no settlement was involved. [Reuters]

* Lawyer who turned in brief with AI hallucinations genuinely didn’t realize using Microsoft Copilot for writing and grammar would also lead it to make up new cases. Clippy is out of control. [ABA Journal]

* Here’s an article about Judge Jerry Smith’s dissent that sanewashes an unhinged opinion. Compare and contrast with this account that links to the actual opinion and quotes from it heavily. [National Law Journal]

* It’s time to start blaming John Roberts for all of this. [Mother Jones]

* DC troop deployment found illegal, several months after the fact. [Courthouse News Service]

* CFPB’s slow death continues. [Law360]

* Former state House speaker loses law license. [CBS]