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Mr. Met gives me bad touches every summer.

I’ve been avoiding writing about Irving Picard, the trustee in charge of getting money for the victims of the Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme, and his lawsuit against New York Mets owners Fred Wilpon and Saul Katz. It’s too painful. It’s like being close enough to see Oliver Perez’s face just as you know things are going to completely unravel but still hoping against hope that he’ll throw a strike. It’s like wondering if David Wright spends his nights crying softly while Mike Piazza texts him weekly updates on how many days he has until he’s an unrestricted free agent. I know what’s happening; I just don’t like to talk about it.

But, as we mentioned in Morning Docket, Picard’s massive complaint was made public today. He says Wilpon and Katz made $300 million in fictitious profits from business dealings with Madoff.

As you read through the allegations, try to remember how poorly the Wilpons make decisions about whom to hire, whom to fire, and how much to play baseball players — and then tell me if you are at all surprised by anything here…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Nothing About the Madoff Thing Surprises Any Mets Fans”

This would not be happening if Leo McGarry were still alive.

When Charlie Sheen heard the news that Charlie Sheen was found naked and coked out of his mind in a trashed suite at the Plaza with a porn star hooker locked in the bathroom, Charlie Sheen knew he had to do something drastic – something epic – to top himself. 

Last week, the Two and a Half Men whacktor reasoned that the best way to supercharge the party was simply to multiply the coke, hookers and party duration by a factor of three. Here are the allegations, from TMZ:

Charlie Sheen had a “briefcase full of cocaine” delivered to his home — and was using large amounts of the drug during the 36-hour bender that landed him in the hospital … this according to a source inside the house….

We’re told Sheen had several people inside his home during the 36-hour span that started Tuesday night — including 2 porn stars, a business associate, and several other women….

Sheen was eventually hospitalized early Thursday morning for “severe abdominal pain.”

Charlie was released from celebrity hospital Ceders-Sinai last Thursday and is now spending his time rehabbing… his job, by writing public apologies to CBS and Warner Bros, and promising them he’ll be healed and back to work by the end of February. A number of sites have wondered how the 16 million blind and deaf fans who rely on Charlie, a fat, zitty teenager and some other talentless hack to make them laugh every week are going to survive while the show is on production hiatus. But I have an idea. Kill yourself…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Fame Brief: Martin Sheen to Seek Conservatorship Over Charlie? (Or: Not Another Charlie Sheen Post)”

This Job of the Week is for an attorney who is looking to switch gears and join a newly formed marketing compliance group at a top bank. This is one of many in-house positions throughout the country that Lateral Link is working on, so if you are interested in making a lateral move in-house or to another firm, contact your Lateral Link recruiter.

Position: Compliance/Marketing Material Review Officer

Location: New York, NY

Description: Top investment bank seeks a corporate attorney with at least 4 years experience to work in their newly created marketing materials compliance group. The purpose of this group is to provide consistent review of written communications, including trade ideas, original detailed analysis, research summaries, branded and other written materials regarding financial products. MBA is a plus, as well as language skills (particularly German and Portuguese).

For more information about this position, please view Position #7746 on Lateral Link; current Members may contact their personal search consultant for this or other corporate opportunities. Non-members may contact T.J. Duane regarding this opening at

John Taylor Skilling, the son of former Enron executive Jeff Skilling, was found dead in his apartment in California. The Associated Press says that a bottle of medication was found next to John Skilling, and they report that he had been distraught over a recent breakup with his girlfriend.

His father, Jeffrey Skilling, served as president of Enron. In 2006, Jeff Skilling was convicted after a jury trial of multiple charges arising out of Enron’s collapse, and was sentenced to 24 years in prison. He appealed to the Supreme Court, which vacated part of his conviction in a major ruling on the “honest services” fraud statute, and sent the case back for resentencing.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “John Taylor Skilling Found Dead”

Recent law grads already know this, but humor me for a moment while I bring the law students up to speed.

Dear 3Ls, if you graduate with no job, your school will start telling you about how your law school’s career services will still be available for you after you graduate. It’s February, so expect to have this conversation in a couple of months.

Okay, are we all on the same page? So Lewis & Clark Law School has a job posting board, and alumni of the school are allowed to access it. To keep the valuable Lewis & Clark leads within the Lewis & Clark community, the school periodically changes the password needed to access the board.

The password for this cycle hit a little bit too close to home…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lewis & Clark Law School Subtly Insults Its Alumni”

* The Cooch has demanded immediate Supreme Court review for Obamacare. Is this just “grandstanding by Ken Kookynutty”? [Virginia Politics / Washington Post]

* Holy benchslap, Obama! Judge Feldman basically spanked Barack’s entire administration and told them all to go to their rooms over some offshore drilling shenanigans. [Bloomberg]

* Only in Alabama is it kosher for a judge pull his own gun on a defendant in court. Actually, there’s probably nothing kosher in Alabama, but you know what I mean. [Montgomery Advertiser]

* Man, stop being such a narc. Let people in Oakland have their little pot farms – you know, if they ever remember to get around to it. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

* Rich white people in New York are killing Roberta Flack and her dog softly with their racist elevator rules. [Reuters]

* Logic fail for New York. Judges are behaving badly, but the state bar association wants to make it harder to remove them. [New York Times]

* J.P. Morgan and Bernie Madoff were apparently licking each other’s popsicles and drinking each other’s Ponzi “cult” Kool-Aid. [Wall Street Journal]

* Director Steven Soderbergh is probably hoping for a Maury moment right about now. Seriously, what kind of a person names their kid Pearl Button? [New York Daily News]

Madam Justice A. Lori Douglas - with her clothes ON.

We’ve been covering the salacious tale of Madam Justice A. Lori Douglas, a Canadian judge, for several months now. Justice Douglas — associate chief justice of the Court of Queen’s Bench of Manitoba, and a member of the Canadian Judicial Council — is currently the subject of an ethics investigation. As mentioned earlier, “naked photographs of [Justice Douglas] engaging in bondage, playing with sex toys and performing oral sex were previously posted on the internet.”

Our stories on Justice Douglas, collected here, have been quite popular. They have generated strong traffic. But some readers had the predictable reaction of TTIWWOP — “This Thread Is Worthless Without Pictures.”

Well, now we have the pictures….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Madam Justice Lori Douglas: Underneath Her Robe”

Mubarak, I have something I think you should see.

* Foreign journalists risking their lives to cover the story in Egypt should remind everybody why we have to pay for reporters. [Huffington Post]

* The California Supreme Court will soon decide whether or not it wants to decide anything on Prop 8. [Poliglot / Metro Weekly]

* A tipster has the credited blurb: “When J. Crew has made [a shirt saying 'Lower East Side'], has the Lower East Side jumped the shark? Further side note: if you buy said shirt from J. Crew, a shark should jump you.” [Bowery Boogie]

* If you are an allegedly greedy Wall Street banker, is the only jury of your peers composed of 12 other potentially greedy Wall Street bankers? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Syracuse Law calls off its blog inquisition. [Wired Campus / Chronicle of Higher Education]

* Is it really necessary for lawyers to remove their hats in court? Is that rule of etiquette serving any purpose whatsoever? [Underdog]

* The government can have all the land in Queens it wants, as far as I’m concerned. [NY1]

The color of spring: GREEN.

In Tuesday’s survey, we asked whether you left your firm after collecting your 2010 year-end bonus (paid in December for 43% of respondents).

About 14% of respondents reported jumping ship after their bonus checks cleared, while another 8% were in such a hurry to leave that they couldn’t bother waiting around for their bonus money.

That means the vast majority of respondents, 77%, are staying put — at least for now.  About 9% are sticking around a little longer in the hope that their firms up the ante with a spring bonus payment.  Another 18% say they aren’t leaving, but sure wish they could.  Finally, 50% of all respondents report that they are staying at their firms because they are actually quite content at the moment.

Which class years and practice groups are most likely to see post-bonus departures?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Career Center Survey Results: Get Your Bonus … And Stay”

In the blogosphere the people are divided into two seperate yet equally important groups: the producers who research new content, and the commentators who analyze and talk about it. This is a story of what happens when it all comes together.

[ding ding]

DET. GREEN: We’ve got a man here, a single man, who has endeavored to watch every single episode of the now canceled Law & Order. He’s taking copious notes about conviction rates, plea bargains, and other outcomes, on a season-by-season basis.

Now this other guy is crunching all of that data, cross-referencing it against real New York City crime rates, and making some intelligent conclusions based on the comparisons. It all comes together at Overthinking It. It’s pretty sick stuff.

DET. BRISCOE: I liked TV better when only boobs watched it…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Next-Level Law & Order Analysis”

We previously mentioned it in passing, but in case you missed it, here’s the news: Above the Law has launched a new jobs board.

This is a feature that readers and advertisers have been requesting for a while, and we’re delighted to roll it out. Right now the job board is in its infancy; it will grow more robust over time, as more positions are added. Please note that we accept listings for any type of legal job, not just attorney positions. For example, we welcome job postings for secretaries, paralegals, and other support staff.

If you’re looking for a job, now is a good time to be looking. Layoffs are down, hiring is up, and law firms are once again competing on bonuses.

If you’re looking to fill a position, now is also a good time to be in the hunt. There’s a huge amount of talent on the market. And Above the Law enjoyed record traffic last month (January 2011), so now is a great time to list your position with us.

Please email if you’d like to learn more. Thanks!

Above the Law Job Board

Accept your offers. It’s wise advice for 2Ls going through fall recruiting, and it’s wise advice for partners of the rapidly unraveling Howrey law firm, most of whom have offers to join Winston & Strawn. Last weekend, Winston made offers to a little over 75 percent of Howrey partners, with responses requested in 21 days.

Yesterday we mentioned that a Howrey partnership conference call took place on Tuesday. During that meeting, firm chairman Robert Ruyak and Winston & Strawn managing partner Thomas Fitzgerald apparently urged Howrey partners with Winston offers to accept them as soon as possible, according to The Recorder.

Many Howrey partners have already left for other firms, as chronicled in these pages. A group of eleven attorneys recently departed for Morgan Lewis, for example.

Of the 200 to 230 Howrey partners who remain, how many are likely to go with Winston?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Howrey Going to Survive the Storm? Board the Winston Lifeboats, Leaders Urge”

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