Above the Law

Sure, This Federal Judge Was Supposed To Recuse Herself But 5th Circuit Says Too Bad, So Sad

There's definitely a message here.

Elon Musk Is Certainly Living In A Simulation (Even Though The Rest Of Us Are Not)

Being the world’s richest man has never exactly been a sympathetic position.

2022 Legal Industry Report Reveals A Lot Of Firms Still Relying On Generic Solutions

Try using the right tool for the right job instead.

Samuel Bankman-Fried’s Criminal Indictment And Civil Lawsuits Could Provide Enhanced Tax Benefits To Those Who Lost Money On FTX

It is very likely that the activities being investigated would meet the definition of theft.

Dickensian Law Firms

Also, the country may have dodged a constitutional bullet.

The Multifaceted Uses Of Matter Management Software

If you’re looking to get a handle on your caseload and spending, the latest Non-Eventcast is for you.

The Respect For Marriage Act Is Remarkable, But Not Enough For LGBTQ+ Parents

RFMA will now toss out DOMA, and require the opposite -- recognition of valid marriages (regardless of the sex of the parties) by other states and the federal government.

Top 30 Biglaw Firm Wishes Associates A Happy Hump Day By Announcing Bonuses — Plus Extra Cash For High Billers

A nice bonus treat for associates this morning.

Dan Loeb Thinks Bath & Body Works’ Board Could Use Some Serious Exfoliation

And then a good slathering of new directors, preferably of his choosing.

Morning Docket: 12.14.22

* Elon Musk has reportedly ousted Quinn Emanuel’s Alex Spiro as Twitter’s top — if not official — legal counsel. That makes sense, because Spiro is a noted litigator and, having looked at Tesla’s stock price, what Musk really needs these days is some bankruptcy counsel. [NY Times]

* Milbank adds 40 lawyers in London, which is a lot even in the metric system. [American Lawyer]

* Ron DeSantis asks for a grand jury to investigate COVID “crimes” like “trying to save people” and other science-based heresies. [Law360]

* Biden signed the same-sex marriage bill in a landmark achievement that will last just as long as it takes to get to the Supreme Court. [Guardian]

* Lawyers on both sides argue that federal judge can’t hire a historian to gauge the validity of originalism arguments. Because history is critical to constitutional law… but only when strung together from cherry-picked news clippings by lawyers. [CNN]

Big Money In A Rough Market — See Also

Bigger money than Biglaw: Who needs Cravath when you could have Susman Godfrey?

Prior to its seabed nap, the Titanic was thought unsinkable: Et tu, Binance?

Can’t Kross Chris Kise: This is why you take payment up front!

Scotty might not know, but he definitely pays: Scott Bursor brings good tidings and a bankroll.

If only he liked having a clear conscience as much as he liked beer: Brett Kavanaugh got caught with strange bedfellows again.

This Biglaw Firm Has The Greatest Social Impact

Impressive.

US Call For Halting Kinetic Anti-Satellite Tests Gets Boost From UN Vote

France became the ninth nation to publicly join the moratorium — following Canada, New Zealand, Germany, Japan, the United Kingdom, South Korea, Switzerland, and Australia.

3 Questions For An IP Trial Lawyer And New Boutique Founding Partner (Part II)

The vision and spirit of IP lawyers like Jennifer Wu help propel the IP slice of the profession forward.

The Legal Tech-To-English Dictionary Is Back!

Hide your redwelds! In this edition, we're talking customization of practice management software.