Cars

Orange is the new black.

For most people, sartorial elegance and automotive excellence equals legal expertise.

Stuart V. Goldberg, a criminal defense attorney who takes pride in his appearance by wearing Tom Ford suits and carrying Louis Vuitton briefcases. Goldberg also pays extra to park his Rolls Royce Phantom, Bentley, or Lamborghini across several parking spaces near the local courthouse.

(A picture of Goldberg’s silver Bentley, which features some incredibly gauche vanity plates that read “RNMAKER,” was presented without comment on our sister site, Dealbreaker, last summer.)

Would that law school was affordable so that all one had to do was sell off childhood memories. Alas, stories like this one are not about students piecing together law school tuition in creative and interesting ways. Instead, this is another story about a law school graduate who learned, too late, that getting a law degree doesn’t have anything to do with getting a job that allows you to afford the degree.

It’s funny, collecting toy cars is a harmless hobby. Collecting post-graduate degrees is the dangerous perversion…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Law Student Selling Hot Wheels Collection To Pay Off Debt”

How’s this for a crim law issue-spotter:

Laura Law Student is ejected from a bar late one night. As she passes a nearby public library, Laura witnesses a group of people that she suspects of painting graffiti on the library. Laura confronts the vandals and they punch her, steal her phone, and tag her car. After the attack, Laura gets in her freshly tagged car and tries to run down the vandals.

Unfortunately, Laura’s car strikes a bystander during the chase, and Laura attempts to leave the scene of the accident.

It sounds absurd, but this is actually an account of what police claim a real-life law student did on Saturday morning….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Law Student Allegedly Lives Out Issue-Spotter When Cops Say She Used Car As a Deadly Weapon”

Sorry, SCOTUS.

* A study revealed that almost half of all links in online Supreme Court opinions are dead, but at least internet pranksters like this guy have been given a chance in the spotlight. [New York Times]

* CHECK YOU [BLACKBERRIES] OFTEN, because firms like Shearman & Sterling, McCarthy Tétrault, Skadden Arps, and Torys will advise on the ancient technology’s private sale. [Am Law Daily]

* We hope this IPO isn’t imported from Detroit. Chrysler filed a prospectus with the SEC yesterday with the help of attorneys from Sullivan & Cromwell and Cravath. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Paul Bergrin, more commonly known as the “Baddest Lawyer in the History of Jersey,” was handed a life sentence yesterday. At least he’ll have street cred with his gen pop friends. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* If you’re still thinking of applying to law school now, you must be the kind of person who needs advice on how to go to college and fill out applications, all at the same time. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

Matthew Cordle

When I get charged, I will plead guilty and take full responsibility for everything I’ve done to Vincent [Canzani] and his family.

Matthew Cordle, in a viral YouTube video where he confessed to killing a man after a drunk driving incident he was involved in earlier this summer.

Yesterday, Cordle attempted to enter a not guilty plea, but Judge Julie Lynch did not allow him to do so because she was “incensed.” Cordle returned to court today and again entered a not guilty plea, a move his attorneys say is merely a procedural step.

(Keep reading to watch Cordle’s shocking video confession.)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Man Who Confessed To Drunk Driving-Related Killing On YouTube Says He’ll Plead Guilty… But Doesn’t”

Back in July, we told you about Howard Levitt, a Canadian lawyer who was so eager to zealously advocate for his client that he abandoned his Ferrari in quickly rising floodwaters to get to a hearing on time. Levitt ultimately won the motion hearing, but wondered if he would lose his car. According to Levitt, prior to being filled to the brim with raw sewage in the flood, the car was valued somewhere “north of $200,000.”

In the end, Levitt’s luxury Italian sports car was deemed a total loss, but his insurance company was kind enough to cover the whole thing. But what of the poor lawyer who gave up a dream car to assist a client in need? Sure, he got some additional clients and new-found fame out of his press coverage — but would he be able to buy a new Ferrari, or would be be relegated to driving his “back up car,” a Dodge Viper?

Our readers will be able to take some joy in today’s news update, because the good people at Ferrari were able to turn this crappy situation into a car enthusiast’s wet dream…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lawyer Who Abandoned Ferrari To Help Client Gets A Handsome Reward”

* After three years on top, Baker & McKenzie has lost its place as the top grossing firm in the Global 100. But which firm dethroned the once king? None other than… [Am Law Daily]

* Today we celebrate the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.’s March on Washington, and yet some of the things he sought to change still remain the same in 2013. [Washington Post]

* The house always wins: Navin Kumar Aggarwal, the ex-K&L Gates partner who stole client funds to pay gambling debts, was jailed after receiving a 12-year sentence. [Am Law Daily]

* “This is like a triple-overtime win.” Merrill Lynch is making a huge $160 million payout in a racial bias case that’s been stuck in the courts for nearly a decade. Congrats, plaintiffs! [DealBook / New York Times]

* As eager young law students return to school, maybe it’s time for you to consider brushing up on the basics. Now is an excellent time to take care of those pesky CLE requirements. [Corporate Counsel]

* Husch Blackwell is teaming up with WUSTL Law to launch a training program for… partners. Take this for what is is, law students: a great opportunity to résumé bomb the hell out of them. [National Law Journal]

* Career alternatives for attorneys: judicial drug mule. Following an investigation by the DEA, a former Utah judge pleaded guilty to the possession of enough Oxycodone to kill a small horse. [Salt Lake Tribune]

* Don’t even think about texting anyone, ever again, in the state of New Jersey, especially if they might be driving, because the appeals court says you could be held liable for negligence. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild has been sentenced to 270 days in jail and three years’ probation after being convicted of assault and false imprisonment by a jury of “stupid, stupid idiots.” [Los Angeles Times]

* Chris Brown might buy his lawyer Mark Geragos a Lamborghini. Brown is quite an automotive expert. The upswinging doors make it sooo much easier to throw a girlfriend out of. [TMZ]

* Politics is all about figurative whoring, but a county board has dumped its lawyer for soliciting a crack whore. Actually, maybe politics is literal whoring. [Badger Pundit]

* Gourmand’s Grater, the kitchen product created by a former lawyer we mentioned a couple weeks ago, has opened its crowdfunding campaign. [Indie GoGo]

* Finnegan is ditching its Belgium office and moving to London. How can a firm turn its back on a city classy enough to have a urinating child as a symbol? [The Lawyer]

*Access online today’s nude dancing decision of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Eighth Circuit. And you’re interested because this is the audience that went crazy for a post about a Playmate from 1994. [How Appealing]

* Did you fall for the new U.S. News rankings? Silly readers. Paul Campos breaks down exactly how Rutgers-Newark gamed the system. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* In a New York state case, “[a] calendar call in the courthouse would require the clerk to shout out ‘JesusIsLord ChristIsKing’ or ‘Rejoice ChristIsKing.’” See, now THAT is a name that’s sacrilegious — not having a baby named Messiah. [NY Times]

* Yet another reason students should steer clear of law school: most of them have no critical thinking or argumentation skills. [Huffington Post]

* We’ve mentioned NYU Law grad and former S.D.N.Y. clerk Eli Northrup and his band Pants Velour before. Now they have a new jingle for Dial 7 car service. Check it out after the jump….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Non-Sequiturs: 08.16.13″

Earlier this week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this photo:

On Wednesday, you voted on the finalists, and now it’s time to announce our caption contest winner…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Caption Contest Winner: Giving ‘Ambulance Chaser’ A New Meaning”

Earlier this week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this photo:

Let’s have a look at what our readers came up with, and vote on the finalists…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Caption Contest Finalists: Giving ‘Ambulance Chaser’ A New Meaning”

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