* There’s nothing like boner talk in federal court: Juan Monteverde of Faruqi & Faruqi reaffirmed his claim that he was too drunk to
get it up“consummate the act” during the time Alexandra Marchuk alleged he forced sex upon her. [Law 360]
* “There’s something deeply ironic about a judge seeking the right to ignore another judge’s ruling while crying ‘judicial activism.'” Justice Roy Moore of the Alabama Supreme Court wants judges to ignore a federal ruling on his state’s unconstitutional ban on gay marriage. [Reuters]
* Just days after the legal news media found out that Dentons would be tying the knot with Dacheng, the deal has officially been sealed. Talk about a shotgun wedding! Best wishes go out to 大成 Dentons for a happy, international marriage. [Am Law Daily]
* Elite litigation boutique Susman Godfrey will be consolidating its Dallas and Houston offices into one mega-office in 2016 after the firm’s lease in Dallas is up. Will all of the displaced attorneys remain with the firm? [Houston Business Journal]
* Can we talk… about wrongful death cases? A lawsuit has finally been filed against the outpatient endoscopy facility and physicians involved in the death of Joan Rivers, and details have been released as to the way the beloved comedian died. [CNN]
Amal Clooney’s lifetime achievements are far greater than those of her husband, George Clooney. Where’s her award?
I became a lawyer without really understanding that the job cuts time off of your life. My work hours are long, I can’t see my family or friends, and I am constantly at the mercy of the partner or the client. On top of everything, at one point, I was paying 7% on my law school loans. […]
Know anyone on this august list? If so, congratulate them!
Certain celebrities are just too sexy for their civic duties.
Where did he go to law school and where does he now work?
Her marriage, not her legal work, had a hand in her selection as the most fascinating person of 2014.
Sometimes, the person handing over the bonus check is bonus enough to make lawyers feel like they’re living large.
The adage that law turns slowly does not hold in eDiscovery. This year saw unprecedented sanction awards for falling behind the curve. Courts did not hesitate to engage with advanced and nuanced technological issues. For lawyers and other eDiscovery professionals who plan on maintaining basic competence, these cases and trends shouldn’t be overlooked. For a full exploration of trends and developments in this area of case law, check out this on-demand webinar.
* A student at Barry Law claims someone stole her phone and used it to call an African-American blogger an N-word on Instagram. We’ll have more on this believable story later. [Miami Herald]
* Mark Wahlberg wants to be pardoned for a crime committed before he was known as Marky Mark. He should also consider asking to be pardoned for The Happening and Planet of the Apes. [CNN]
* The job market was flat last month, and in 2014, the legal sector lost 3,000 jobs. Don’t worry, you’ll get a job eventually, per the hopes and prayers of your career services employees. [Am Law Daily]
* Shine bright like A. Diamond: Howrey’s bankruptcy trustee says he’ll have a confirmed creditor-repayment plan “well before” the end of next year. [WSJ Law Blog]
* iF*ckedUp? The last named plaintiff in the Apple iPod class action may not have bought an iPod during the time period at issue in the suit. [Bits / New York Times]
* We suppose that with new tech comes new logos, because Covington & Burling is dropping the “& Burling” for global branding purposes. [National Law Journal]
Will Teresa Giudice have to flip a table to get justice?
* Deep in the heart of Texas, a judge refused to dismiss Gov. Rick Perry’s felony case over a silly technicality in the underlying paperwork concerning the special prosecutor’s oath of office. [CNN]
* This lawyer got a spanking for including a noncompete in an associate’s contract that said he wouldn’t be able to practice the same type of law for two years. [Legal Profession Blog via ABA Journal]
* UVA Law came in at #7 in the Graduate Programs ranking of the 50 best law schools, but the the school doesn’t “focus on year-to-year fluctuations in rankings.” Keep those collars popped high. [Cavalier Daily]
* “I’m hopeful that we’ll get our Tracy back, the guy everyone loves.” Tracy Morgan’s lawyer says the comedian’s crash with a Wal-Mart truck this summer has left him with a traumatic brain injury. [Bloomberg]
* After its giant, website-crashing sale debacle earlier this month, someone decided to file a class-action suit against Sephora for discriminating against Asian customers whose accounts were blocked. [Reuters]
* “Perhaps Congress should have called this the Sarbanes-Oxley Grouper Act.” Based on the justices’ reactions during oral argument, it seems like SCOTUS isn’t taking the bait in the Yates case. [WSJ Law Blog]
* It seems that President Obama still hasn’t made a decision on who he wants to replace Eric Holder as attorney general. Maybe the results of the midterm election made him change his mind. [Legal Times]
* Jay Z may have 99 problems, but this champagne deal ain’t one because Cooley helped to seal the deal. If Armand de Brignac is good enough for Queen Bey, it’s good enough for this Biglaw firm. [Am Law Daily]
* Students at the University of South Dakota School of Law are wondering whether they’re receiving a good legal education considering they’re being trained to pass the “easiest [bar] in the nation.” [The Volante]
* Kenneth Desormes of Connecticut was charged after trying to eat the results of his breathalyzer test. He may be the same Kenneth Desormes who tried to get his law school to admit to fraud. [Hartford Courant]
* “I thought it was hilarious. And I imagine my colleagues who have seen it would share that view.” Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has seen John Oliver’s talking Supreme Court dogs, and she totally LOLed about it. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Hey guys, guess who’s excited about a yet-to-occur increase in law school applications? If you guessed law school admissions officers, then you’d be right. Come on, what else are they going to do now, cry? [National Law Journal]
* We suppose some congratulations are in order for Ave Maria Law, because now the school doesn’t have to provide insurance coverage for its employees’ contraceptives. Yay, thanks Hobby Lobby! [LifeNews]
* Manuel Noriega’s “Call of Duty” lawsuit was dismissed earlier this week, and Rudy Giuliani is just glad that “a notorious criminal didn’t win.” Let’s get real here: the dictator’s rep was already damaged. [CNN]
* “Can we talk?” Melissa Rivers called a plaintiffs firm to ask the question made famous by her late mother, Joan Rivers. Her malpractice and wrongful death suit will be coming soon. [Page Six / New York Post]
* The Fifth Circuit is allowing the Texas voter ID law to be enforced during the upcoming election, even though it was recently struck down by a federal judge. After all, “preserving the status quo” is very important down south. [Bloomberg]
* We suppose that’s why the Supreme Court stepped in to make sure that abortion clinics in Texas were allowed to reopen following their shut down. Take that, Fifth Circuit. [New York Times]
* AG Eric Holder is showing off some fancy legal footwork before he walks out the door. Federal prosecutors can no longer ask defendants to waive their IAC claims when pleading guilty. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Davis Polk & Wardwell is a Biglaw firm where hotties roam, and it looks like this top Justice Department prosecutor who started his career there is returning home there to roost. [DealBook / New York Times]
* It’s the debt: With headlines like “Law school applications plummet – at U of L too,” the University of Louisville School of Law can’t even convince alums from its undergrad school to attend. [Courier-Journal]
* Amal Alamuddin changed her name to Amal Clooney on her firm’s website. It’s as if she wants to rub the fact that she’s a human rights lawyer who just got married in everyone’s face. [New York Daily News]
* Law schools are in trouble, but Cooley Law is “going strong” — after all, only “28 percent of last year’s graduates at its Michigan campuses failed to land jobs as lawyers within nine months.” You’re really doing it wrong. [Tampa Bay Times]
* This guy broke into the University of Oregon School of Law three times, and all he got were these computers for hipsters and a crappy 11-year sentence. (He should’ve broken into the football facility for better loot.) [Register-Guard]
* Should you go to law school if you know for a fact that you don’t want to be a lawyer? This is the type of question that would render your ATL editors unable to even. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]
* Amanda Bynes has been placed on a 5150 psychiatric hold, and people suddenly care about mental health law. It’s sad that it takes a celebrity to make people care about these issues. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Marijuana is making its way to the ballot in some states this November, but before you vote, here’s a primer on where it’s legal to smoke weed, where it might be, and where it’s not. [Washington Post]