Celebrities

  • Joanna Krupa via Getty Images

    Celebrities

    Interrogatory Asks Model To Discuss Her Vagina… Yes, Sadly This Is Real.

    While you were worried about poor kids in jail unable to get a speedy trial, our legal system was doing this.

    36 Comments / / Aug 28, 2015 at 2:31 PM
  • John Oliver LF

    9th Circuit, Celebrities, Television

    The Ninth Circuit Hearts John Oliver

    John Oliver gets cited in an appellate decision.

    38 Comments / / Aug 27, 2015 at 10:27 AM
  • Terrence Howard (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty)

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 08.25.15

    * Baker & McKenzie was dethroned by DLA Piper as the the Biglaw king of gross revenue. The firm is blaming its poor performance — a 4.3 percent drop — on “currency fluctuations.” Better luck on snatching back glory next year. [Am Law Daily; Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

    * It’s hard out here for a pimp with an allegedly small peen: Terrence Howard’s divorce settlement was overturned by a judge after evidence was brought forward to suggest the actor was coerced into signing it. Apparently his ex was blackmailing him over the size of his manhood. [ABC News]

    * There’s a new sheriff judge in town, and he’s cleaning up the Ferguson, Missouri, courts. His first order of business was to wipe out all arrest warrants issued before December 31, 2014, in the wake of the Michael Brown police shooting last August. [Reuters]

    * Dean Philip Weiser of Colorado Law has announced that he’ll be stepping down from his position in July 2016. He’ll be remembered for keeping costs low and putting asses in seats during a time when it was difficult to do both concurrently. [Denver Business Journal]

    * “On one level I give them kudos for playing hide the ball.” Gibson Dunn is fighting a subpoena issued by defense attorneys for computer metadata related to its Bridgegate report that cleared New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie of all wrongdoing. [Bergen Record]

    36 Comments / / Aug 25, 2015 at 9:00 AM
  • Ashley Madison

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 08.24.15

    * It looks like the other slutty shoe has officially dropped. Two law firms have filed a $578 million class-action lawsuit against adultery dating site Ashley Madison for breaching their clients’ privacy rights. Impact Team must be thrilled. [TIME]

    * Gov. Chris Christie says that if he’s elected president, he won’t nominate anyone with a Harvard Law or Yale Law degree to SCOTUS. Non-Ivy law schools better start priming and primping their most successful grads on the off chance Christie gets the nod. [CBS News]

    * Case Western Law decided that two heads are better than one, because Jessica Berg and Michael Scharf were just permanently appointed to serve as co-deans. We can’t think of any other law school with a dynamic duo of deans like this. [Crain’s Cleveland Business]

    * In Biglaw, romantic wranglings can follow you beyond the grave: Thomas Hale Boggs Jr.’s estate is doing battle with a woman who claims she had a relationship with the former head of Patton Boggs — and now she wants some of his property. [National Law Journal]

    * He may be “used to playing on a different court,” but Michael Jordan really took it to the hole on this case. Defunct grocery store Dominick’s Finer Foods must now pay the sports star $8.9 million for using his name in a steak ad without his permission. [NBC News]

    80 Comments / / Aug 24, 2015 at 8:58 AM
  • Caitlyn Jenner (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty)

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 08.21.15

    * Due to the speed at which she was driving, Caitlyn Jenner could face a vehicular manslaughter charge related to the fatal chain-reaction car crash she was involved in earlier this year. The ESPY-winning celeb’s fate is in the district attorney’s hands now. [NBC News]

    * Surprise! David Sweat, one of the New York inmates who led authorities on a three-week manhunt after he escaped from prison in June, pleaded not guilty to felony escape charges at his arraignment. He’ll likely get a few years added onto his life sentence if he’s convicted. [Reuters]

    * Oh baby: Valeant is buying Sprout Pharmaceuticals, the maker of the “female Viagra,” for a cool $1 billion. Skadden Arps and Sullivan & Cromwell, the firms repping the companies, must be turned on by the deal. [DealBook / New York Times; Am Law Daily]

    * Prosecutors in the David Messerschmitt case are seeking a 25-year sentence for Jamyra Gallmon, the woman who stabbed the DLA Piper associate in a robbery-gone-wrong and left him for dead in a D.C. hotel room. Her attorney is asking for 18 years. [Legal Times]

    * The Florida Bar is recommending disbarment for a group of attorneys accused of arranging a DUI arrest for a rival attorney during a high-profile trial. You’ve got to admit this set-up was a particularly bold move, even for Flori-duh lawyers. [Tampa Bay Times]

    18 Comments / / Aug 21, 2015 at 8:59 AM
  • Tom Brady? (Photo via Jane Rosenberg)

    Celebrities, Football

    This Awful Courtroom Sketch Of Tom Brady’s Face Melting Off Will Make Your Day

    How could anyone in the courtroom concentrate while the star quarterback’s face was melting off?

    18 Comments / / Aug 13, 2015 at 10:54 AM
  • Hulk_Hogan-RF

    Celebrities, Media and Journalism, Trials

    Gawker Body-Slams Hulk Hogan In Ongoing Litigation

    Gawker pins Hulk Hogan to the mat in the latest round of this bitter legal battle.

    32 Comments / / Aug 12, 2015 at 3:03 PM
  • Michael Jordan, laughing off the fact that millennials don't know who he is.  (Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images)

    Uncategorized

    Morning Docket: 08.12.15

    * Michael Jordan was present during jury selection for his case against defunct supermarket Dominick’s, but potential jurors didn’t seem the least bit fazed. In fact, just a single one of them considered the basketball star their “personal hero or idol.” Ouch. [Chicago Tribune]

    * Maryland Law will be offering a very topical “Law and ______” class this semester, entitled “Freddie Gray’s Baltimore: Past, Present and Moving Forward.” Students enrolled in the course will be asked to create fixes for social problems. This’ll be interesting. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * According to the GC of Fannie Mae, Biglaw’s profit structure is broken, but the solution he proposes to the problem may not sit well with associates who are slaves to the billable hour — but only if they care about their hourly rates. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

    * Unlike most of his colleagues, Larry Sonsini of Wilson Sonsini didn’t immediately join a brand name Biglaw firm after he graduated from law school. Instead, he created his own brand name Biglaw firm, so that worked out well. Your own mileage may vary. [Forbes]

    * It seems that New York City’s Responsible Banking Act is unconstitutional because it conflicts with existing state and federal banking laws. To be fair, between dueling mayoral policies, this law was completely FUBARed from the get go. [DealBook / New York Times]

    31 Comments / / Aug 12, 2015 at 9:02 AM
  • Jared Leto LF

    Celebrities, Defamation, Sex

    Jared Leto’s Lawyer Strenuously Objects To Claims That Her Client Has A Large — Yes, Large — Penis

    Not your ordinary lawyer letter: “It is, as I understand it, the accusation of having a SMALL penis that is understood to be an insult.” (Emphasis in original.)

    42 Comments / / Aug 6, 2015 at 11:02 AM
  • Britney Spears (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty)

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 08.04.15

    * Her dad’s the ringleader, he calls the shots; she’s like a firecracker, she makes it hot: Since “everything is working perfectly” under pop star Britney Spears’s conservatorship — which has been in effect for the past seven years — it’ll likely stay that way indefinitely. [Us Weekly]

    * Well, that was fun while it lasted. The ABA did away with its year-old LSAT exemption rule in record time. Law schools will only have until 2017 to lard up classes with students who haven’t taken the exam. Good luck and Godspeed. [National Law Journal via TaxProf Blog]

    * Simpson Thacher isn’t the only Biglaw firm that allegedly blew it when it came to turning hundreds of General Motors’ secured creditors into unsecured creditors. Mayer Brown is also facing twin class-action suits for this $1.5 billion boo-boo. [Crain’s Chicago Business]

    * Good news, everyone! The ABA approved a merger between Rutgers Law-Camden and Rutgers Law-Newark, and we’re going to look at this in a positive light because theoretically speaking, there’s now one less law school out there. [MyCentralJersey.com]

    * “Are Law Schools Skewing Job Placement Numbers?” In a word, yes. Not to be a complete pessimist realist, but come on, you know most school-funded positions exist solely to prop up any given law school’s less-than-pleasing job statistics. [Bloomberg]

    * When you’ve taken the lives of so many, no one cares about your sad life story. A Colorado jury inched closer to inflicting the death penalty upon convicted movie theater shooter James Holmes in the second phase of his trial’s penalty portion. [New York Times]

    21 Comments / / Aug 4, 2015 at 9:00 AM
  • 50 Pence None The Richer (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 07.27.15

    * A jury has ruled that rapper 50 Cent must pay an additional $2 million in punitive damages to a woman whose sex tape he posted online, on top of the $5 million he already owes her. This wanksta better hope the judgment gets discharged in bankruptcy. [Associated Press]

    * California is America’s breeding ground for unaccredited law schools, and “[m]ost jurisdictions simply don’t allow [these] kind of law school[s] to exist at all. Period.” Nearly all students (about 9 out of 10) drop out before graduation. How much money is being wasted? [Los Angeles Times]

    * Since 2007, the pay gap between the highest- and lowest-paid positions in many specialized fields has widened — but that isn’t the case when it comes to the legal profession. Unfortunately, not as many people are making it rain. [New York Times]

    * “[M]aybe legislation should fix this. Not the court.” A San Diego judge has suggested that he’ll likely dismiss a right-to-die lawsuit filed by Christy O’Donnell, a civil rights attorney who’s fighting a battle against lung, brain, spine, rib, and liver cancer. [NBC San Diego]

    * You’ve seen reactions to Harper Lee’s portrayal of Atticus Finch as a racist in Go Set A Watchman (affiliate link) from everyone and their mother and their dog, but maybe you haven’t seen reactions from law professors yet, so have a look. [National Law Journal]

    34 Comments / / Jul 27, 2015 at 8:46 AM
  • Natalie Portman (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

    Alex Kozinski, Celebrities, Movies

    How Are Natalie Portman And Judge Alex Kozinski Alike?

    You’ll never guess the answer to this question.

    35 Comments / / Jul 23, 2015 at 4:02 PM
  • Willie Nelson (Photo by Slaven Vlasic/Getty)

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 07.22.15

    * “Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys potheads.” Country singer-songwriter and OG stoner Willie Nelson says marijuana will be legal in all 50 states within the next decade. Who knows, maybe his cannabis-crazed dreams will come true. [San Antonio Express-News]

    * Where do lonely hearts go? To court. This ex-Illinois Law student was accused of stalking a classmate and barred setting foot on campus for a two-year time period. A new trial was ordered, and now he may be able to graduate. Yay? [National Law Journal]

    * Law firms of all sizes are merging at a record pace, but that doesn’t mean that it’s going to continue like this ad infinitum. Eventually, all of the fun is going to stop, and it’ll likely because there isn’t any more profitability to be had for these firms. Womp. [Am Law Daily]

    * Corporate legal departments are pushing for more diversity among their ranks, with companies like Xerox leading the way. NAPABA is hopeful that we’ll see 20 Asian-American lawyers as general counsel of Fortune 500 companies by 2020. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * For a man who wanted to “get rich or die tryin,” things don’t seem to be working out so well: Bankrupt rapper 50 Cent was busy denying ownership of many of his luxury items in court this week. He says he rents, borrows, and leases most of his bling. [Associated Press]

    14 Comments / / Jul 22, 2015 at 9:01 AM
  • Demi Moore (Photo by Angela Weiss/Getty)

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 07.21.15

    * Because sometimes the application of the law seems like an indecent proposal: Demi Moore is “in absolute shock” because she may be facing a lawsuit for negligent supervision due to a pool drowning that occurred at her home while she was out of the country. [Fox News]

    * “The bow tie is a manifestation of my unwillingness to become part of the rabble.” Male lawyers face harsh criticism about their fashion choices, too, and these New Jersey attorneys will wear their bow ties with pride, no matter what. [Bergen Record]

    * In a recent interview, Justice Alito critiqued his SCOTUS colleagues for adopting a seemingly limitless interpretation of the 14th Amendment: “I don’t know what the limits of substantive liberty protection under the 14th Amendment are at this point.” [Legal Times]

    * If you’d like to be a federal appellate judge by the age of 35, then Judge Alex Kozinski of the Ninth Circuit has some advice for you. First and foremost, know where to “peddle your wares” — get a job in Washington, D.C., ASAP. [Concurring Opinions via ABA Journal]

    * Managing partners, repeat this mantra: Don’t do a Dewey! Thanks to the D&L financial disaster, Biglaw firms have decided to cut back on or ditch bank loans completely and get by with a little help from their friends partners in times of need. [Wall Street Journal]

    18 Comments / / Jul 21, 2015 at 9:01 AM
  • JJ Watt

    Celebrities, Football, Sports

    J.J. Watt Seems Neat

    A law clerk enlists a star athlete to break important news to her husband.

    8 Comments / / Jul 17, 2015 at 9:33 AM
  • 50 Pence None The Richer (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 07.17.15

    * “I don’t know what you heard about me, but a bitch can’t get a dollar out of me.” Truer lyrics have never been rapped. 50 Cent’s legal team will face off in bankruptcy court against lawyers for a woman owed $5 million thanks to a sex-tape scandal. [Business Insider]

    * You may be happy that income-based loan repayment exists and is saving you from defaulting on your law school debts, but in a few decades, you’re probably going to get F’d in the A by a ticking tax time bomb. [Student Loan Ranger / U.S. News]

    * If you missed it, James Eagan Holmes, the shooter in the Dark Knight movie theater massacre in Colorado, was convicted for killing 12 people and wounding 70 others. Next up is the sentencing phase of his trial, and the death penalty is on the table. [Denver Post]

    * The head honchos at Goldman Sachs are sad their second-quarter profits were reduced by ~half thanks to protracted litigation stemming from the financial crisis. The bank had to put away $1.45B for “mortgage-related litigation.” [DealBook / New York Times]

    * The stars at night may be big and bright deep in the heart of Texas, but Berg & Androphy, led by attorney David Berg, is trying its hand at big city life in New York. It got the hang of things, y’all: B&A has already poached two Kasowitz partners. [Lawdragon]

    14 Comments / / Jul 17, 2015 at 9:02 AM
  • Gawker logo

    In-House Counsel, Media and Journalism, Privacy, Trials

    The Most Interesting In-House Job In The World?

    Meet Heather Dietrick, president and general counsel of Gawker Media, who’s now spearheading Gawker’s defense in the Hulk Hogan sex video lawsuit.

    16 Comments / / Jul 1, 2015 at 5:40 PM
  • Ben and Jen in less litigious times. (Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images for VH1)

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 07.01.15

    * Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are getting divorced — even she couldn’t stand the thought of him being Batman. Celebrity divorces don’t come cheap, and you know what that must mean: high-powered lawyers and even higher rates for their billable hours! [CNN]

    * “[H]ow young would you go…I’d do 5[,] [b]ut 0-12 is hot.” Well, that’s absolutely disgusting. Matthew Gigot, an attorney who does doc review in the D.C. area, was charged in a child pornography case for sexual performance using a minor. [FOX 5 DC]

    * The main line of defense as of late in the Dewey trial for the former head honchos of this failed firm is that everyone sends out embarrassing — and potentially incriminating — emails from time to time. We know all abput that here at Above the Law. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * “Put down the bong, throw out the vaporizer and lose the rolling papers.” If you’re hoping to land a job at any federal agency any time in the near future, then you better quit your toking as soon as possible, even if it’s legal in your state. [New York Times]

    * Here’s some sad news for women who are interested in taking home their apparently delicious and nutritious placentas to feast upon after their children are born in hospitals: it’s only completely legal in three states — Hawaii, Oregon, and Texas. [The Stir]

    27 Comments / / Jul 1, 2015 at 9:00 AM