The filing should be stricken. It’s absolute insanity. It’s bizarre beyond belief. It’s so unbelievable, I don’t know what to say. I’m speechless.
– Joel Brodsky, lead attorney for convicted murderer Drew Peterson, responding to attorney John Paul Carroll’s motion for a new trial. Carroll has not been involved in the case thus far, except as a consultant to advise Peterson about his pension rights.
I assume the hero in this story looks like Gandalf.
Every once in a while, we cover special Lawyers of the Day who earn spots on ATL not for embarrassing goofs, but for making unique attempts do the right thing — from outside the courtroom. Often, these stories end happily, like the attorney who chased down some cell phone thieves.
Earlier this week, a tipster told us about a heroic Chicago prosecutor who helped some imperiled strangers, but wound up getting stabbed and beaten in the process. Thankfully, police have arrested a suspect. No good deed goes unpunished, but looks like the odds aren’t much better for bad ones either….
Today we have news of another lawyer leaving the Chicago office of Sidley. But this departure reads more like a mystery novel than a memoir. Let’s find out who’s leaving, even if we don’t yet know why….
If you don’t know the video I’m talking about, it’s an old home movie from 1992 of Shaun Sperling’s bar mitzvah. In the video, the then 13-year-old boy dances — quite enthusiastically, in front of dozens of cheering friends and family members — to Madonna’s “Vogue.” It’s just as goofy and awesome as it sounds.
Well, 20 years later Sperling is a commercial litigation attorney in Chicago. In between appearances on the Today Show and Jimmy Kimmel, we caught up with him to ask if his newfound fame has affected his legal work over the last few weeks. In short: it’s been great.…
It's great to work this hard and get paid less than minimum wage. And by 'great' I mean 'amazingly horrible.'
Welcome to Above the Law’s ongoing series: “Jobs that will put y’all back in chains.”
Unlike many of our terrible jobs, today’s story about the terrible job market is at least a job for lawyers that involves the practice of law. And earning money.
Mind you, it’s not a lot of money. Depending on how many hours you work, it’s below minimum wage. And the ad says that the hours are grueling.
But the combination of low pay and hard work isn’t what makes this job particularly horrible. It’s the fact that the employer thinks they’re going to attract the best of the best with this pathetic excuse for legal work….
* This guy gets an A for imagination, but he fails the whole “How do you not realize that emergency dispatch will not send you a ride to go on a beer run, even if you call 911 nine times” test. [WCTI12]
* You know you’re addicted to cigarettes when you’ll smoke cigarettes that were hidden in a baby’s diaper. Then again, smoking already involves inhaling something covered in s**t. [Legal Juice]
* A 49-year-old attorney is charged with sexually assaulting a 24-year-old woman in her room at the Chicago W Hotel. Bad news Bears. Seriously, ugh. [Chicago Tribune]
* Just give me all the foreclosed homes you have. Wait, wait. I worry what you just heard was ‘give me a lot of foreclosed homes.’ What I said was: Give me all the foreclosed homes you have. Do you understand? [My Fox Detroit via Legal Blog Watch]
* Whoever produces public-service announcements forgot that not only are drugs bad but so is a propensity toward violent anger. One could argue the latter is more likely to land you in jail. Either way, hilarious. [BuzzFeed]
It’s over! Do a little dance, make a little noise, get down tonight… etc. etc. As most of you probably know, the bar exam was last week. Duh. Our three Bar Review Diarists thankfully made it through the test without dealing with nightmares like rats or murdered cats, but they do have some interesting stories to tell.
Jeanette, Nathan, and Andrew, you just took the bar exam… how does it feel?
Well, here we are, just one week ago until those fateful days. How are Nathan, Jeanette, and Andrew doing? Well, understandably they feel a little under the gun.
Our Bar Review Diarists all seem to have their own last-minute procrastination tools: Nathan went to a music festival, Jeanette watches bad television, and Andrew continues making far-out pop culture references. All perfectly normal, perfectly healthy….
We only have two weeks left until the test. It’s about that time: our columnists’ brains are fried. They have been studying so long it seems they may have forgotten the most basic of non-lawyerly communication skills.
Let’s check in with Jeanette, Nathan, and Andrew as they compare their lives variously to Groundhog Day, feverishly come up with mnemonic devices, and transliterate show tunes into bar exam songs.
Ed. note: The Asia Chronicles column is authored by Kinney Recruiting. Kinney has made more placements of U.S. associates, counsels and partners in Asia than any other recruiting firm in each of the past seven years. You can reach them by email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Things have changed recently in Korea – a few of our US and UK client firms are looking, very selectively, for a lateral US associate hire. Until just recently, there was not much hiring like this going on in Korea, since US and UK firms started opening offices there. We have already placed two US associates in Korea in the past month at top firms. Most of the hiring partners we work with in Korea do not actively work with other recruiters.
If you are a Korean fluent US associate in London, New York or another major US market, 2nd to 6th year, at a top 20 firm, with cap markets or M&A focus (or mix), or project finance background, and you are interested in lateraling to Korea to a top US or UK firm, please feel free to reach out to us at email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org. Our head of Asia, Evan Jowers, was just in Korea recently, and Evan and Robert Kinney will be in Korea in a few weeks. We are in the process of helping several firms open new offices in Korea (a number of which are interviewing our partner level candidates) and also helping existing offices there fill openings.
Professor Joel P. Trachtman has developed a unique, practical guide to help lawyers analyze, argue, and write effectively.
The Tools of Argument: How the Best Lawyers Think, Argue, and Win is a highly readable 200-page book, available for about $10 in paperback or e-book. Chapters focus on foundational principles in legal argument: procedure, interpretation of contracts and statutes, use of evidence, and more. The material covered is taught only implicitly in law school. Yet, when up-and-coming attorneys master these straightforward tools, they will think and argue like the best lawyers.
For most attorneys, time spent managing the books is a necessary evil at best. Yet it is undeniably a crucial aspect of running a successful practice. With that in mind, we invite you to view or download a free webinar by Above the Law and our friends at Clio to learn how to better manage your finances.
Take this opportunity to learn what it takes to streamline your accounting and get the most out of your time. The webinar agenda:
● The basics of accounting for lawyers.
● How legal accounting differs from regular accounting.
● Report and reconciliation issues surrounding trust accounts.
● How to pick and integrate the best accounting tools for your practice.
● Steps to prepare your tax return for your firm’s income.
Do not miss this crucial chance to optimize your accounting practices. Save time and get back to billing!