D.C. Circuit

* Beef: it’s what’s for dinner (at the D.C. Circuit). [How Appealing]

* “The Likelihood A Robot Will Steal Your Job, In One Picture.” Good news for lawyers, not-so-good news for paralegals. [Kotaku]

* An interesting perspective from Professor Faisal Kutty: “Why Gay Marriage May Not Be Contrary To Islam.” [Huffington Post]

* And from Willkie partner Francis J. Menton: “Argentina Is Joined In The Supreme Court By The Coalition Of Weasels.” (I’m guessing Willkie doesn’t represent many foreign sovereigns in fights against their creditors; that seems to be Cleary Gottlieb’s niche.) [Manhattan Contrarian via Instapundit]

* A CLE event that offers a lot of bang for the buck. [National Firearms Law Seminar]

* If you’ll be in Philadelphia tomorrow night, watch a bunch of Penn Law students beat up some punks from Wharton — for a good cause! [Wharton vs. Law: Fight Night; promotional video after the jump]

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Go watch Penn Law students beat the crap out of Wharton MBA students. Yay!

* The Biglaw firm that Chris Christie hired to investigate Chris Christie and the Bridgegate scandal has concluded that Chris Christie did nothing wrong. Phew, Chris Christie couldn’t haven seen that one coming. [BuzzFeed]

* If you were an attorney on the D.C. Circuit case where counsel received an unexpected benchslap for excessive use of acronyms, would you have said OMG WTF, or LOL NBD? Choose wisely, unless you DGAF. [Legal Writing Pro]

* BTW, the D.C. Circuit doesn’t so much forbid the use of uncommon acronyms as much as it requires that a glossary be used to define them. Too bad iPads have killed glossaries. [Maryland Appellate Blog]

* An American failed chef in Paris: One of Lat’s friends from back in the day when he was at Wachtell took a very circuitous route to becoming the first American partner at a top French firm. [The Deal Pipeline]

* If you care at all about how well women and minority law students are represented on law reviews, then you’ll want to come to this important event. I’ll be there, and hope to see you there, too! [Ms. JD]

* It’s getting hot in herre, but please keep on your clothes. Students from Penn Law REALLY want you to know about this weekend’s boxing event. Nelly will be at the after party. [Wharton vs. Law: Fight Night]

On Tuesday, the D.C. Circuit benchslapped a gaggle of lawyers for filing briefs with excessive acronyms. The court’s per curiam order directed the parties to “submit briefs that eliminate uncommon acronyms used in their previously filed final briefs.”

Alas, attempts to comply with this order have raised a new problem — a problem that some readers saw a mile away….

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The D.C. Circuit to counsel: readable briefs or GTFO. From an order filed today:

Who are the parties and their counsel? Additional information and the full order, after the jump.

(Also note the UPDATES — in defense of the lawyers, and floating a theory about the judge behind the benchslap — added to the end of this post.)

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This week, Emad Abdullah Hassan, a Yemeni man held at Guantanamo Bay since 2002, renewed his legal effort to fight the policy of tube-feeding detainees on hunger strike in protest against their ongoing detention. Last month, the D.C. Circuit held that the federal courts have jurisdiction over cases where Gitmo detainees challenge the terms of their confinement, though the panel declined to enjoin the practice of forced feeding. (You can read the specific claims in Hassan’s case here.)

Nasogastric feeding, the method used with Gitmo hunger-strikers, is where medical staff deliver liquid nutrition directly to a patient’s stomach via a thin plastic tube inserted through the nose.

Critics call the forced feeding torture. Is it?

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Kristen Saban

* Justice Scalia apparently has an ulterior motive for his hatred of deep-dish pizza: “He’s just trying to undermine Barack Obama because he’s a Chicago guy.” God, can’t the guy just like New York style pizza better? Come on. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* Now that the Federal Communication Commission’s net neutrality rules have been smacked down by the D.C. Circuit, the agency is going to start from scratch and come up with some new ones. Yeah, good luck with that. [National Law Journal]

* “Roll your window up, ignore the taunting, put your car in reverse, move a parking spot over.” These are some of the ways you can avoid killing black teenagers over loud music, says a Michael Dunn juror. [CNN]

* The toupee gave it away: A lawyer who used to work as an i-banker at Stratton Oakmont is suing for defamation over a character he claims was modeled after him in the “Wolf of Wall Street.” [ABC News]

* The lawsuit filed against Nick Saban’s daughter by her sorority sister was tossed under Alabama’s “stand your ground” rule over her objections that she was kind of like a defenseless receiver. [Associated Press]

Too soon, too soon, too soon.

– Justice Elena Kagan, declaring in a recent public appearance that she’s not ready to be the subject of a bobblehead doll.

(Additional highlights from Lady Kaga’s comments, after the jump.)

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I had the good fortune to be offered a clerkship by several of Justice Ginsburg’s colleagues: Abner Mikva, whom I eventually clerked for, Harry Edwards, and Pat Wald. The only one of President Carter’s nominees to the D.C. Circuit who thought me not quite good enough was Judge Ginsburg. She didn’t even interview me.

– Justice Elena Kagan, jokingly referring to the “minor grudge” she’s nursed against Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg for almost thirty years, at the 2014 Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg Distinguished Lecture on Women and the Law hosted by the New York City Bar Association.

David Boies: just one great lawyer among many at Boies Schiller.

What comes to mind at the mention of Boies, Schiller & Flexner? Perhaps the legendary named partners — David Boies, Jonathan Schiller, and Donald Flexner — or perhaps the legendary bonuses, which last year went as high as $300,000.

But there’s much more to the firm than that. Even though BSF is most famous for its litigation work, it has a sizable and well-regarded corporate practice, for example. And even though its biggest presence is in the state of New York, with offices in Albany, Armonk, and New York City, the firm has several other outposts — including a growing and high-powered presence in Washington, D.C.

Boies Schiller has been adding some impressive new talent to its D.C. outpost. Last week, the firm welcomed a leading litigatrix. Let’s learn more about her, shall we?

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* The D.C. Circuit just spanked the FCC and its net neutrality rules for the second time in a row, but at least the court was polite enough to give the agency a reach-around by saying that it had authority to govern broadband providers. [National Law Journal]

* Current and former judges of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court wrote a strongly worded letter in opposition to Obama’s proposed surveillance reforms. Apparently they don’t want their secret workload to increase. [Washington Post]

* Oooooooklahoma, where gay marriage comes sweepin’ down the plain! A federal judge ruled that the Sooner state’s ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional, issuing a stay pending the obvious appeal to come. [BuzzFeed]

* California can prevent LSAC from notifying law schools when prospective law students were given extra time on the LSAT. LSAC values its ability to discriminate, so expect an appeal. [San Francisco Chronicle]

* Yo, Kanye West, I’m really happy for you, I’ma let you finish… I’m sorry, but Coinye had one of the best bitcoins of all time. ONE OF THE BEST BITCOINS OF ALL TIME. [MoneyBeat / Wall Street Journal]

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