Fat People

Bloomberg

Non-Sequiturs: 05.31.2012

* For everyone who’s ever wondered, “I’m an attorney, but I also love playing lacrosse. Where can I enjoy my dual passions?” Well, here’s your answer. [Wall Street Journal] * More analysis of today’s DOMA smack down. [Leonard Link] * Still speaking about DOMA, check out these interesting similarities between Judge Michael Boudin, who wrote the court’s DOMA opinion, and 50 Cent. (Spoiler: they’ve both been shot a gazillion times, duuuh.) [Think Progress] * How do you turn your summer associateship into a full-time offer? I might suggest presents, nepotism, or, ahem, “favors.” Or for more traditional folks, I suppose you could take this “practical” advice. [The Careerist] * What can business executives learn from Wal-Mart? That having holiday sales so huge people are willing to die to be there might not be such a terrible idea? [Harvard Business Review] * What happens when the pool of college graduates dries up in a metropolitan area? Kitten starvation, ice storms, and zombies. [New York Times] * On a policy level, this maybe isn’t a great idea. And I realize I might sound like a hypocrite. But, honestly, if sodas were banned, I would be really upset for like 20 minutes, and then I would just go on a crazy 20-year coconut water binge. [New York Times] After the jump, check out Bloomberg Law’s interview with the judge from Raj Rajaratnam’s insider trading case…

By Christopher Danzig
Attorney Misconduct

Morning Docket: 05.25.12

* In a Supreme Court decision split across gender lines, prosecutors can now get a do-over on criminal charges without double jeopardy, even if an otherwise deadlocked jury unanimously rejected them. [New York Times] * And yet another day ended without a verdict in the John Edwards campaign finance trial, but the jury asked to review every exhibit in the case. The former presidential candidate must feel like he’s being punk’d. [CNN] * The DOJ found that two prosecutors in the Ted Stevens case committed reckless professional misconduct punishable by unpaid time off. Looks like they’ll be getting an extended Memorial Day break. [Blog of Legal Times] * Hot on the heels of Obama’s announcement in support of gay marriage, yet another California judge has found that DOMA is unconstitutional (along with a provision of the tax code). [Poliglot / Metro Weekly] * Occupy Wall Street is suing for $48K over the destruction of the group’s “People’s Library” after their eviction from Zuccotti Park. But let’s get real, who wants used books that reek like patchouli and pot? [Bloomberg] * More than one million “de facto spouses” in Quebec may soon be automatically married by the state against their will. Imagine how much fun it’ll be to get a divorce from someone you never actually married. [Slate] * Two waitresses who claim they were fired for complaining about their former employer’s “no fatties” policy will get to bring their $15M lawsuit before a jury. Hopefully Peter Griffin isn’t a juror. [Law & Daily Life / FindLaw]

By Staci Zaretsky
5th Circuit

Non-Sequiturs: 01.05.12

* Pepsi lawyers offer a creative (if disturbing) defense to a lawsuit by a man who claims he found a mouse in his Mountain Dew. [Madison County Record via The Atlantic Wire] * Will birther queen Orly Taitz get to depose — i.e., “rupture the jurisprudential hymen” — of President Barack Obama? That would be […]

By David Lat
Blogging

Morning Docket: 11.16.11

* One of the reasons that members of Congress are so filthy rich is because they’re only technically breaking the law, but Scott Brown wants to try to curb Congressional “insider trading.” [CBS News] * In other Congressional news, pizza is now considered a vegetable. And fat people the world over rejoiced by stuffing their […]

By Staci Zaretsky
9th Circuit

Morning Docket: 11.03.11

* Only in Texas can a judge get paid leave after a video of him beating his daughter’s ass goes viral. Makes you wonder about the kind of crazy sh*t you’d need to do to get stuck with unpaid leave. [KRIS TV] * A federal judge has ordered Paul Ceglia to return from Ireland to […]

By Staci Zaretsky
Celebrities

Non-Sequiturs: 10.26.11

* Leah Ward Sears, who shows up on SCOTUS shortlists, wants to impose a mandatory waiting period… on divorces. It’d be interesting to live in a country where you had to wait for a year to get rid of your spouse, but not to buy a gun. [Slate] * Speaking of marriage…. Tara Reid was […]

By Elie Mystal
Boutique Law Firms

Non-Sequiturs: 10.05.11

* If the Americans with Disabilities Act must protect the obese, could we at least have different levels of protection depending on whether or not your “disability” is self-inflicted? Like, if you get your legs shot off in war, that’s one thing, but if your legs crumble underneath your girth on your way to eat […]

By Elie Mystal
Boutique Law Firms

Non-Sequiturs: 10.05.11

* If the Americans with Disabilities Act must protect the obese, could we at least have different levels of protection depending on whether or not your “disability” is self-inflicted? Like, if you get your legs shot off in war, that’s one thing, but if your legs crumble underneath your girth on your way to eat […]

By Elie Mystal
9th Circuit

Morning Docket: 09.30.11

* Now that DADT has been repealed, the Ninth Circuit has tossed the Log Cabin Republicans case. How does that Paula Abdul song go? Two steps forward, two steps back? [Los Angeles Times] * Is this a new way of protecting taxpayers? In early 2012, Bank of America is going to start charging $5 a […]

By Staci Zaretsky
Baseball

Morning Docket: 09.29.11

* Sorry Missouri, but your reign as the “Show Me” state is over. Thanks to its immigration law, Alabama is going to be taking over as the “Show Me Your Papers” state. [CNN] * Time to review the footage. Irving Picard stands to lose the game for the Investors if he can’t get an instant […]

By Staci Zaretsky
American Bar Association / ABA

Morning Docket: 09.12.11

* In November, the Supreme Court will decide whether our Fourth Amendment rights come subject to advances in technology. I, for one, welcome our new Orwellian overlords. [New York Times] * What do you get when two wireless carriers with craptastic coverage and service that goes down more than a porn star have plans to […]

By Staci Zaretsky
American Bar Association / ABA

The Aftermath of the East Coast Earthquake of 2011

In the wake of the east coast earthquake of 2011, the legal world seems to be back to its regularly scheduled programming. Courts are back in session, law firms have reopened, and government agencies are fully functioning. We received a lot of tips from our readers about their earthquake experiences, but more importantly, we have the final results from our reader poll. We now know who we can blame for moving the earth and disrupting our day. And no, it wasn't Obama's Fault....

By Staci Zaretsky